I was always "The Quiet Kid in the Corner."
In fact, at the "tender" age of 57, I'd submit that I am still the quiet kid in the corner.
Don't get me wrong, though. Although I am a dedicated introvert, that does not mean that I don't like people. Nor does it mean that I am "shy" or suffer from any kind of social anxiety.
It just means that I prefer silence and solitude to loud parties and crowds. And when it comes to people, I just happen to prefer mine one at a time! And I'm quite happy to talk to you, as well...
Our Competitive World
It's no secret that we live in a hustle-and-bustle competitive world. In order to "get ahead" you almost have to have a "song and dance routine" and some way to market yourself.
Red flower
Of course, that's where I started bumping into this thing called "reality," already when I was in college. As a writer, I always preferred staying in the shadows, being "behind the scenes." I didn't want to have to "sell myself." And I mostly refused to... as a result of which I had a hell of a time getting any kind of job.
All this "quiet" stuff might sound a bit counterintuitive to those who read these pages and make note of the fact that I am the keeper of a very "public" social blog with almost 3,200 followers. It might also sound counterintuitive to those who know that my "day job" (at least one of them) is being co-proprietor of an art gallery.
"You're in SALES, for God's sake! How can you be a quiet introvert???"
It's Not That Hard, Actually...
Daffodil
Writing is typically the domain of introverts. Studies have actually be done to show that introverts work better at "writing speed," which allows for quietly organizing one's words before expressing them... and doesn't depend on "thinking on your feet."
I really suck at thinking on my feet, and just end up making lots and lots of mistakes when under pressure to do a lot of things "in the moment."
I like the fact that my keyboard has a backspace key-- which my lips do not-- and I like the fact that I can organize my words till they are "just so," without it causing the uncomfortable pauses that often would result during face to face conversation.
Being in sales at an art gallery also works well because I love art, creativity and the artistic people I deal with... and I generally get to talk to people about art, one person at a time.
The Self-Marketing Issue
Buddha in the quiet woods
As an introvert-- and a writer-- the hardest thing I deal with is the eternal self-marketing aspect of life we seem to be faced with in our society.
The USA-- especially-- is a very outgoing and "in your face" type of society and the frustrating thing is to sometimes watch how those who are quite LOUD and AGGRESSIVE but not necessarily skilled or talented get ahead, often at the expense of quieter but more qualified candidates. At times, it even seems like assertiveness is valued more highly than actual skills and abilities.
One of the reasons I really like Steemit is that we are in an environment where the content gets to speak for itself. Sure, we work on things like "building followings," but I know many of my readers here are fellow introverts who are here for the content, rather than simply to make a lot of noise.
How about YOU? Are you an introvert or extravert? And do you consider yourself a writer, even if not entirely "by profession?" How do you feel about self-marketing? Does it come natural to you, or does it feel awkward? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!
created by @zord189
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180203 16:37 PDT
Great article. I consider myself an introvert. I find quiet to be the time when I'm most "in the zone". You expressed the point well though, it's not I don't like other people I simply prefer solitude at times. Keep up the great content - followed!
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Similar boat, I have always despised marketing. I think how "the words can speak for itself", is the most authentic way to go about it.
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Self-marketing does not come easy for me. I am basically an introvert who occasionally steps out of her shell. I don't like crowds or loud places. I write so therefore I must be a writer but it was not a chosen profession.
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Thanks for sharing @denmarkguy
I've never considered myself as an shy person, couldn't explain why I didn't feel comfortable in a crowd either... And you explained it all.
Regarding your appreciation for the keyboard, I share that too. Sometimes, I come up with associations that make people think I'm just plain weird (except a few friends who think like me). With a keyboard, I can curate my thoughts like steemit posts and upvote the best one. Lol
I believe that everyone has a right to be who they are. I, in fact, envy those who can be the life of a party. My current crush definitely is; I'm not. But I'm not changing either. I like my comfort just the way it is
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I’m most definitely an introvert and it troubles me seeing society turn into one as we become more automated and the human element fades away at least in that sense.
I do prefer the quite life. People who are always loud and aggressive I just don’t have time for their demands. I’m not really sure where USA places out of other countries and cultures toward these kinds of traits. I have run into some rather aggressive type of people from other countries.
While people always seem to portray Americans as being “loud” and distractive when we travel abroad. I have a feeling that might be more towards the demographic that prefers traveling internationally. Living in Florida I have dealt with many people from other countries who would make the average American look respectful and silent.
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I am a fellow introvert. I am an artist and although I sometimes can think on my feet and act quickly in social situations, I always feel like I am just 'acting the part of the extrovert' for a time and then I usually need two or three days at home alone not talking to anyone to get over it.
When I used to have to do more real life in person art shows, I had to put on this person and always needed a break after to recover in my quiet introverted way. Now the internet is a safe haven for we introverts, allowing us to sell and network from the quiet of our places.
I am an American, but have never been a loud pushy American and have never really felt connection with other american. I am happier in UK/EU where I tend to understand people a bit more, more quiet a bit more dry humour and less easily offended.
I am glad I found you, so i am following and now you can add another introvert to your list :)
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I totally relate to everything you just stated. :) Thanks for sharing!
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I'm definitely an introvert. My goal in life was to come and go like a coyote or a bird, with nobody even noticing. That ultimately didn't match what I had to do for another part of me - where I had to publish or perish in writing, in proposals for projects, and being active in my profession. And then there's Steemit, lol. I may be regressing in not calling attention to myself or constantly marketing 'the value' that I bring.
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Nice post.I respect you very much because you contribute to steemit.I will do activities like you.I would like to extend the steemit.
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Great Post!
I To can be the shy kid In the corner.
Thanks for sharing and steem on :)
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This post has been randomly selected for a resteem by the Abasinkanga Resteem Service
I am not a bot. Upvote this comment if you like this service
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Definitely a writer, and great to meet another one here. There are lots of us at The Writers' Block on Discord too. If you haven't stopped by, I recommend coming to say hi. Lots of introverts and a few extroverts there, so quite the mix.
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Thanks @denmarkguy . Excellent written article. Very well thought out. ( as usual).
You know I claim to be kinda of both. As I have gotten older I like going out more among crowds. In social settings
But I also totally embrace and cherish my solitude, even though I have two young ones and a wife.
I work from home ALL day. So I can get the solitude then... which is nice :)
Anyway, keep up the great Content . Put it out, and I will be there ;)
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I could have written this. It fits me like a glove.
Except for this
I do NOT like people...plural. Individuals are OK...sometimes.
But I've seen what people (plural) can do and what they are like. I'm a viet nam era vet and a trucker. I've pretty much seen it all. It's not pretty. I refuse to associate with people(plural), I avoid crowds and I'm perfectly happy being by myself.
The internet provides all the social life that I need.
BONUS
I don't need a chaperone when I'm 'alone' with wimmen...cause that never happens.
#metoo is a serious threat. Seen it happen many, many times in the last several decades.
NOT ME. I'll be just fine...sitting behind my computer, typing in the dark.
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I rate my self an introvert person. I am also a shy prrson who doesnot express his feelings easily. Steemit broke my inertia a little bit.
In my 2 cent opinion a person who likes to live in shadow has good observation skill as he mostly observe other people more closely, so he can express in a better way. Being a sale and shadow person at the same time is quite tough. If you are doing these stuff successfully it means you are simply expert in your field. Thanks for sharing nice post
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I am primarily an introvert and, even in groups, tend to speak to one person at a time. I can be fairly extroverted at time though. I enjoy parties but again am more likely to speak to a few people for a long time than to flit from one to one.
I definitely need peace and quiet to recharge.
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I am primarily an introvert, and I consider myself a writer. It is easier for me to be in calm one-on-one situations.
However, I am great at faking it as an extrovert. People often will say, "Well, that's easy for you, because you're an extrovert..." which I certainly am not! Being loud, outspoken, and assertive is draining for me.
I too have worked in sales as an introvert! It is absolutely possible. It just means that being around people all day won't recharge you, and you feel quite spent at the end of the day.
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Although I've found recently that I do suffer from some social anxiety in groups, I know that in general I just tend to avoid ever having to deal with it by not hanging out in groups!
I can relate to pretty much everything else you've written here. I much prefer one on one. I'm OKAY at selling myself (but not great by any means) because I've worked supporting my family with my artwork before and it became a necessity.
I've always felt at home with the written word (or even on a stage) and putting myself out there that way, but I'm just more comfortable one on one when it comes to interacting with others. I've found that to be true on steemit as well. I'm very comfortable with reading and commenting on blogs or having one on one chats, but trying to join in a chatroom with a lot of people just makes me crazy.
I do like what you said about the fact that in writing we have a backspace key. I wonder how much trouble I could have avoided in my life if my mouth had a backspace key!
I enjoy your writing style a lot. Thanks for sharing,
@byn
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I'm a long-time introvert. I admire the apparent ease with which some extroverts handle people, but I do not envy all the time they spend in crowds...
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