Bank Robbery
from witness statements and
interviews with friends and relatives of the deceased
The gang was nervous as they prepared for their first robbery. They were going to be rich. They were going to rob a BANK!, just like in the 'gangsta' movies! Then they'd be rolling in dough. All the chicks would spread for them and they'd be top dog. Bruce had scored some guns, his old man was a collector and had an arsenal. He was never going back home so when he split he took some rods with him. He wasn't real sure what they were but they were guns. He even had some ammunition. He wasn't clear as to what kind of ammo it was but hey, if his old man could figure it out how hard could it be?
He and his Bros were gonna score tonight. They divided up the guns. "Yo deez ain't gots any ammo in em. Don't make me shank ya! " Sheldon, always belligerent, grumbled.
"Yo, you dummy you know das right!” sneered Harry. “You don' you know nuttin'! What 'chew thinkin' man?”
"I got these things here.” Said Bishop. He handed out some magazines. They each took one and begin inserting them in the pistols, except for Bruce. Try as he would Bruce couldn't get the .45 magazine to fit in the 9mm automatic.
"Must be broke .” He muttered
"You got another gun? " He whined. All the other homies held their new toys protectively, nope, he wasn't getting one of theirs.
"All I got left is this " Sneered Bishop. He held out a HUGE pistol. It was a single action, .50 Casull revolver.
"Well at least it's loaded " Said Bruce dubiously. "I know all about that kind of gun, I saw it on dirty Harry."
Harry looked at Bruce's gun with envy, but didn't say anything. Bruce cocked the huge hog leg and stuck it inside his pants. The weight of the monster gun made his pants sag, more.
"My old man really likes it, I made sure to take it. Piss him off. " Said Bishop.
Thus armed they wrapped towels around their heads like they'd seen their hero's on TV do. They looked just like the Dark Brotherhood now, or the Palestinians, or the, the, something. They weren't real clear on names. Actually they weren't real clear at all, about anything. Who cared? Just details.
Bruce had a little trouble seeing, he'd completely covered his face and his eyes, he finally got that figured out. The others followed Bruce's example and stuck their guns in their belts or pockets out of sight and casually walked to the door of the bank. Just as they stepped inside they pulled the towels over their faces, so no one could identify them. All that was visible were their eyes.
Except Bruce, he covered his eyes, again, he couldn't see. He stumbled around and bumped into Bishop.
"This is a stick up... " Shouted Sheldon. "Everyone freeze, umm, everyone hit the deck, ER, I mean hands up!"
Everyone in the store fell to the floor. It was the only prudent thing to do when masked men were waving guns. Except for Bruce, Bruce wasn't waving his gun. Bruce's gun had snagged in his pants, he was trying to drag it out.
"Where's the money " Screamed Sheldon. This wasn't going quite right. Something was wrong. About that time the door opened behind Harry, and Bruce yanked a little bit too hard on his gun.
The .50 caliber cocked revolver that was pointing at his boy-thing about then, went off. Bruce lost what little manhood he had that day, along with his life. He fell to the floor screaming and pumping blood everywhere. Harry, Sheldon, and Bishop, heard the gunshot. How could they not? They saw Bruce fall to the floor in a spray of red.
They saw the door open. They aimed their weapons at the intruder and opened fire, except for Sheldon, his gun was on safety. Harry and Bishop sprayed about thirty shots at the intruder, they must have hit him because red liquid squirted everywhere. They were out of ammo except for Sheldon. They stood open mouthed, guns pointed at the intruder wondering what to do. The man didn’t fall down like he was supposed to. Sheldon's gun was still on safety but he was squeezing the trigger as hard as he could.
I was not amused. I had been delivering some food to the Food Bank as a favor. I’d just had a case of ketchup shot up in my arms. The ketchup was ruined, my uniform was ruined and so was my disposition. It had been a really nice day and those punks had ruined it. I was in a really bad mood. They’d pissed me off. None of the pistol bullets had hit me. Three towel heads were pointing pistols at me. That part wasn’t new. I’d spent several years in the Sandbox and the RockPile and I’d been shot at before. Many, many, many times. This wasn’t my first Rodeo by a long shot. Old habits died hard and I reacted in the FoodBank that day as I had reacted in combat.
Decisively. Swiftly. Lethally.
I dropped the ruined case of ketchup. Before it had even hit the ground I’d pulled my automatic pistol from it’s holster. I fell into position naturally, from much practice, from muscle memory. My weak hand was bracing the stronger.
.
BOOM!- BOOM!BOOM!
I always had a round up the spout, it saved time that way.
.
Target two.
.
BOOM!- BOOM!BOOM!
(Two hits to center of mass, one to the head)
.
Target three.
.
BOOM! BOOM!BOOM!
Less than three seconds from the first shot to the last. So quickly had I shot that the first ejected shell casing hadn’t quit rolling on the floor as the sound of the last shot rang out. It had sounded as if I had had a machine gun. If I do say so my self. Of course . That would be illegal. I didn’t I’m just that fast. The punk that we later learned was Sheldon must have been some special kind of stupid, his gun was still on safety.
It would remain so.
To Be Continued
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The Hobo Picture is a Public Domain image from
Samantha at the Worlds Fair
by Josiah Allen's Wife (Marietta Holley)
Illustrated by
Baron C. De Grimm published by
Funk and Wagnall's Company 1893
Unless noted
All other Illustrations are from
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