Now I am floating alone in the room caught in my thoughts and detached from life. I notice nothing and despise all the more, life itself. Too much I tried to strive for happiness and to find meaning. But I only found the bleak pain of reality that haunts me every day. Reality has given me a sequence that has been repeated ever since the birth of humanity: birth, life, death. What sense should I see in the existence of my self when I can not even recognize myself? Every decision, every moment, seems to be a trivial sequence of disappointments. A lie that we persuade ourselves not to doubt our own existence. But I have decided to ask myself this question today. I made my decision quickly and now take note of the current moment.
I feel the wavering of my legs. I breathe in and hover over everything from now on.
Am I free, have I found something worth living for?
Even more I recognize in the darkness and a bright light. My eyes opened, I saw a person. Who could it be, I asked myself? Did the person come for me?
My astonishment of escaping from the darkness turned out to be another lie I imposed on myself.
Because suddenly it became clear that this unknown person was a doctor.
The waver, the weightlessness, the light were only a result of my attempt to end my life as I jumped off the bridge.
I penetrated the line between life and death and found nothing.
Once again I'm alone in this empty room without a person who is on my side.
Finally, I realized the meaning of my life. Finally to end my life.
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If no one has a opinion on the article, then I don´t know how I can improve my writting.