A letter to my neighbour

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                                Enough With Your Booming Drum Kit and Blunt Fence
                            
        Dear Andy,

I have always felt sad living near to you. You are the most crumpled neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your inconsiderate dog.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your drum kit is too booming and your fence way too blunt. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a guitar

I have to insist that you take action to stop your inconsiderate dog from upsetting me. I demand that you take the fence down then cut down the hedge.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your loud music increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Little Oakley.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your inconsiderate dog on Instagram.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
justadoge