my first attempt to write I want to hear your opinion please

in writing •  7 years ago  (edited)

Hi all this is my first attempt to write
my English isn't perfect so please give me your opinion and advice
I don't know if this considered short poem
its just my random thoughts and feelings i called it "when my dreams will see the light?"

when my dreams will see the light?
Am i gonna win the fight?
Nothing in my life going right
I feel the rope around my neck get tight
I keep thinking day and night
When i will be on that flight?
Heading away to meet mr right
feel I'm human and have rights
Suddenly i hear a noise, a warplane in the sight
Back to reality where no light
All my dreams get postponed to the end of this fight :(
Tears fall , heart beat fast
Wishing I'll be happy one night

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I had Resteemed this post. Wish you all the best. Upvoted

thanks very much
and today i joined @margaretwise #poemchallenge with it
hope they like it

thanks very much i didn't know about this bot

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Very creative use of the -ight ending. My English isn't the best either, but you should never let that stand in the way of writing your poems. Poetry is about feelings and I felt your pain. Very good work, I'll reward it with an upvote my friend ;) And off course I'll follow you to see what else is going on in your creative mind.

I'm very happy that u liked my poem
and thanks for your upvote :)

This post received a 1.5% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @medras! For more information, click here!

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This post has received a 14.29 % upvote from @steemorocco thanks to: @medras.

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Nice post keep going on

Thanks but it seems like i write for myself nobody comment or upvote
Not even see my posts

Hello there and welcome, I am also new on this site like you, follow me @sacraf and vote together we can succeed Good luck
protect your heart

thanks i will check ur posts and follow u