Let It Go Already!

The Universe didn’t want me to see Frozen.

Why the Universe considers me so important, we’ll one day find out. But the Universe threw its collection of Hot Wheels into the dark corridor that was my journey to see a princess movie.

The first time I was ‘meant’ to see Frozen was while I was in Bali with the Mrs. She had already seen it and kept insisting that I see it too. There’s only so much Bintang you can drink, knock-off sunglasses you can buy, and pingers you can smuggle. So I relented. We were going to a Balinese cinema to see a Disney movie that had already been out for over a month.

But the movie wasn’t playing anymore. The Mrs was upset, but I didn’t really care. I had already fallen asleep the day before during a theatre production that must have either had no speaking or no English. I can’t do things all day and then watch something. My body takes its chance to have a snooze.

When we arrived back home our second order of business was to watch this stupid movie. First order was to make sure my little sister’s rabbits were fed and taken care of. It was January 2014 and it was a scorcher. I went to make sure the rabbits had enough water. They had too much water, it was never going to get drank. Because the rabbits had cooked alive. The rabbit hutch had a metal flooring and with the pelting sun the base had slow cooked the rabbits. I don’t have a strong stomach for rotten animals, if I had I would be an animal surgeon, so I was gagging as I was scraping the cooked rabbit flesh from the hutch. Looking at their rodent teeth exposed as the little baby rabbit’s bodies had expanded from all the putrid gas buildup. I was throwing the rabbits right into the compost bin. They stank and I powered through without throwing up. The entire the time my Mrs was like, ‘Next session is 6.40 but as long as we’re at Hoyts before 7 it should be fine’. This fucking movie.

I took the compost bin through the garage and out the front. When I tried to close the garage the heat had expanded some of the mechanisms involved and made the garage door fall off the roller.

‘Can’t we get someone to watch the house while we’re gone?’

‘We’re house-sitting. I’m not getting someone else to watch the house so we can watch a movie.’

I ended up fixing the garage door because I’m practically Tim ‘The Toolman’ Taylor but I didn’t appreciate the time limit.

The entire time watching Frozen I was just thinking about the lack of response for all the trials and tribulations involved in seeing an Ice Magic movie. I didn’t particularly care about the rabbits getting cooked, but I expected the missus to care.

She was supposed to be the caring one.

I don’t know, the movie was better than I expected. 8/10.