Chapter 5 - The Laundromat
Apparently, Lempo decided to come at the busiest time of the day, since he maddeningly found every available outlet being used. Everyone who got the chance had their phone charging, probably whether they needed to or not. And no one would probably be willing to disconnect their phone and risk not finding an outlet later. Just as Lempo began losing hope, he saw an available outlet, but unfortunately it was right next to the television, which was suspended high on the wall. ‘I guess I’m not gonna be able to use my phone until its finished charging,” said Lempo gloomily. Steadying himself on a washing machine, Lempo plugged his charger into the outlet.
As he lowered himself, the laundromat owner came over and said, “Hey, get down from there.”
“Sorry,” said Lempo, “I was just trying to charge my phone. I’m getting down now.”
The owner scowled, “You kids and your phones. I don’t understand how you can’t live without them.” She then proceeded to take out her phone and started tapping into the screen as she laughed and walked away. Before disappearing into her office, she looked back and said, “Better not break anything when you retrieve that phone.”
Lempo nodded and started to look around the place. As everyone minded their own business, he began thinking, “Look at all these people; they don’t even know why they’re alive. They are just going through the motions with no real purpose in life. Why can’t life be fun, like when I’m on my phone? I never get bored when I’m using the phone, but when I’m out here in the real world all I see is a depressing sight. What am I supposed to see here that will change my outlook on life? Because all I see is a whole bunch of people living pathetic lives. All I’ve seen so far is the cruelty of nature, misery, corruption, and ignorance that will eventually ruin many lives. This world only offers misery and a purposeless existence.” Then he said aloud, but softly, “I wonder what keeps these people going, even though they must know this life offers nothing but misery.”
“Maybe these people don’t see life as you do and don’t think it’s full of misery,” interrupted a man near Lempo.
Surprised, Lempo turned to see who was talking and he saw a man sitting on a chair to his right. Lempo said, “Who are you? Did you sit here to eavesdrop on me?”
“No,” responded the man, “I’ve been sitting here all along, you just happened to overlook me. But as I was saying, most people here may not think life is meaningless.”
“But it’s obvious to see that life has no meaning. If these people don’t see this truth, then they’re morons,” responded Lempo.
“Again, you’re judging them according to your own beliefs, not theirs.”
“Yeah, then their beliefs must be idiotic or they must be ignorant.”
“You don’t even know these people you’re judging. How can you say anything about them, if you don’t even know who they are?”
“That might be true, but I’ve been around long enough to see that people live their life as a dog chases its tail. They all strive for happiness in their own, but strikingly similar, way but they’re never able to attain it. In the end, all their purpose and meaning comes to nothing and they end up in a perpetual state of misery, mixed with very few moments of fleeting joy.”
“Who made you the judge of whether people are truly happy or not?”
“Isn’t it obvious? You’re older than me and haven’t noticed everyone trying to drown their sorrows in drugs, sex, or alcohol? Only to realize later the consequences of their actions and then try to stop doing them.”
The man nodded, then said, “Yes of course I’ve seen that, but not everyone has those problems; some people live wholesome lives. How then do you explain those people, would you say that they have achieved the happiness that you say is unattainable?”
Lempo responded, “No, I would not. I am almost certain that everyone is in a state of misery and desperately trying to replace this misery with happiness, but usually with the addictions I mentioned earlier. Actually I would have to say the majority of people try to achieve this happiness by gaining wealth, power, or prestige, but even then are too blinded to see this will never bring them true happiness.”
“Yes, I see and what is this thing they are blinded by?”
In his mind, Lempo thought, ‘Who is this guy who wants to know so much about my beliefs? What is he getting at?’ Seeing that the man was waiting for a response, Lempo said, “They are blinded by the words of everyone around them, from the time they were born, who drilled into them that money and prestige or status are the sole things that one should strive for to lead a happy life. It is said, acquire these two things first, money and honor, and everything else you want will follow. Whether it be a beautiful woman, good kids, or a happy life; money and honor is all you need to receive the rest. Anyone who believes this lie will never be happy; and whether they realize it or not, it will be the main cause for their miserable, wretched lives; and when they don’t find happiness by these methods, most people resort to alcohol, drugs or sex to get a synthetic happiness. Therefore one failed attempt at happiness, through money and prestige, inevitably leads to another, more wretched, attempt at happiness, through addiction.”
The man looked confusingly at Lempo as it surprised him that such words were coming from someone so young. Knowing Lempo was finished, he said, “I find it quite hard to disagree with you on that point, but there is still something you have not explained.”
“Oh yeah, and what is that?” asked Lempo.
“Why is it that even though people are in a perpetual state of misery, they don’t decide to end their life? Why are there not many more suicides in the world if people are eventually forced to realize life has no meaning and is full of misery?”
“That is a very good question, one which has haunted me for a very long time. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the people’s ignorance that’s the cause for their continued, futile attempt at happiness.”
“Can you explain this better?”
“People are too ignorant to realize that no matter what they do, they will never acquire the happiness they seek. Whatever they do, people will never be truly happy, misery will always be just around the corner. Even when people get a wisp of happiness, it quickly gets replaced by misery. But most people are too ignorant to come to this conclusion; therefore they will continue to waste their time trying to be happy.”
“If this is how you really feel, then why haven’t you ended your ‘miserable’ existence?”
Lempo smiled and said, “Yes, it’s true that I have given up on being truly happy in this world, but there still remains a world where I can lose myself and forget the misery that surrounds me.”
With an eyebrow raised, the man asked, “And what world is this that you’re talking about?”
“The personalized world that I have created on my phone; the world of social media. I am willing to put more time and effort into that world than into this miserable one. The only thing this world has to offer is pain, loneliness, and despair. The world I’ve created on my phone is many times better than this so called ‘real world’. I feel more alive when I’m on my phone than when out here.”
“Are you saying that you have a life on your phone separate from your ‘real’ life?”
“Yes, that is a perfect way to explain it, a ‘phone’ life aside from what you call the ‘real’ life.”
“That’s not what I call it, that’s what it is.”
“To me, my real life is on my phone. I feel more at home on my phone than in any place my physical body might be. Besides receiving food and liquids, and secreting these later, I can do everything else on my phone. Actually there would be no need for living in the ‘real’ world if I didn’t have to eat, because everything else can be done through my phone. It’s even better doing it on the phone.”
“You don’t honestly believe that talking with someone on your phone is better than talking to them in person, do you?”
“First of all, no one talks anymore to others in person unless they are really intimate, like close family, or your spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, but even they communicate a lot through the phone. Second, even when I do talk with someone in person, they rarely pay attention because they’re mostly on their phone. It might be hard for
you older people to accept, but communicating in person is dying out and being replaced by the phone.”
The man sighed and looking at the floor, saying, “Unfortunately what you say is correct. I see everyone on their phones nowadays, even when they sit together at a table to eat. Barely anyone communicates with each other in person; people prefer to communicate using their phone. And the worst part about this is they don’t even communicate by talking; instead they use impersonal methods such as texting and now they have even started communicating through pictures and short videos. I’m sorry to say that you probably don’t comprehend the beauty of speaking to someone in person. You won’t even believe that communicating through your phone, using the methods you use, is such a synthetic way of communicating that it’s almost fake. Actually, not almost, it is fake.”
Lempo said, “I think you are afraid of progress. You are afraid to accept the inevitable evolution of communication.”
The man interrupted him saying, “You call the way you communicate evolution. No, it’s de-evolution. What on earth can make you call it evolution?”
“Chiefly, through these new methods of communication, I am not limited in the amount of people I can communicate with. In the old way, it’s difficult to have a conversation when there are more than two people involved, as they can talk over each other, but with the new method this limitation is overcome by allowing a person to communicate with numerous people all at once. Also, unlike the old way, where only one topic could be discussed at a time, the new methods allow for many topics to be discussed. If I want to I can discuss politics with one person, while at the same time send a picture of what I’m about to eat to ten people, or even hundreds. Instead of telling one person how I feel, I can let hundreds or thousands of people know. I can tell someone about one problem, while telling someone else about a whole different problem. Whereas in the past, only one thing could get conveyed at a time through communicating, now I can get ten things done in the same amount of time. What do you prefer to get done, one thing or ten? I think the answer is obvious, don’t you?”
“Yes, you’re correct; I would rather get ten things done as opposed to one. But communication is used for more than just getting things done. It’s used to start and build relationships with others, it helps foster trust and love between people, and many things we as humans need. But if our methods of communicating don’t feel authentic or personal, how will we maintain true friendships and relationships with others?”
“What do you mean by saying authentic or personal? Do you mean to say messaging, texting, sharing pictures or videos are not an authentic or personal way to communicate?”
“Yes, that is what I mean.”
“So pretty much you say any method of communication using one’s phone is not authentic or personal?”
“Yes.”
“On the contrary, I believe people are in fact more authentic when communicating on the phone using social media.”
“What makes you think this?”
“Have you not heard of all the trolling and bullying that goes on throughout most, or all, of the social media sites?”
“Yes, and I think it’s awful.”
“Of course it’s awful, but nonetheless it’s a fact and it happens all the time. Another fact is that most of these same web bullies and trolls would not dare say those hurtful words outside the world of social media. Therefore it’s logical to conclude that people tend to show their real, thus authentic, selves on social media, instead of the real world where people tend not to be as outspoken about their hateful beliefs. These bullies and trolls show a façade to the public out in the ‘real’ world, but when they get online, they present their true selves to the ‘public’ of social media. Does this not prove to you that people are much more authentic on their phones than in the ‘real’ world?”
The man smiled and told Lempo, “I believe you’re confused in what a person’s beliefs are and who they really are, or what I like to refer to as their authentic self.”
Lempo asked, “How am I confused?”
“I will explain. You are under the impression that a person’s beliefs make them who they are, but this is wrong. Who a person really is, is an accumulation of their actions and the character they present to others. It’s easy for a man to think he is a tough guy and portray this belief on social media when he talks down to others and belittles people, but when faced with a situation in the real world where he has to back up is belief, he shows himself to be a coward, both in character and in his actions. Just because a person believes he’s tough, doesn’t mean they really are, and no matter how much they want to believe they are, or show it on social media, this will never make them anything more than cowards. It’s easy for a person to express their beliefs with impersonal letters on a screen, edited photos, and scripted videos, but if they are not willing to act on these beliefs or portray them in the real world, what do all those expressed digital feeling amount to. It all amounts to nothing.”
“I guess, but…”
The man interrupted Lempo, cutting him off at ‘but’. He said, “Hold on, I’m not done yet. What you said earlier about preferring the world you created on your phone over the real world is a prevalent problem today. And it’s not only affecting the young, such as you, it has unfortunately infected the older generations who should know better.”
Lempo waited until there was a short pause and asked, “What makes you say it’s a problem?”
“Be patient my boy, I’m getting to that part. When people start to create worlds on their phones, they are free to create a new persona for themselves. With this freedom, people don’t make themselves out to be who they really are; instead they portray themselves as who they want to be seen. And there’s nothing wrong with this as long as this created persona remains something trivial, but the problem is when people delude themselves into believing they actually are the persona they created. It goes from deceiving others to actually deluding themselves. In the world created on my phone, I can be anyone I want to be, but this does not actually make me into this person. We are meant to know ourselves, but instead we are only losing ourselves more and more. The next bigger problem with this created, fake self is the manner in which we create this persona.”
“What do you mean by this,” asked Lempo.
The man continued talking, “When people are deciding who they want to be on their phone, they do not choose characteristics that tend to be found in themselves already, instead they choose characteristics that society, or their preferred social media group, expects them to have. For example, if being cool in the group I want to join means I have to like such and such things and eat such and such food, then by all means I can make people believe I like those things; so here I am, lying to the people I want to like me, but I’m not being true to myself either. This would not be much of a problem if it didn’t cause the person any harm, but unfortunately this is exactly what it does to many people.”
“How does it harm?”
“You’re a pretty smart kid; I’m surprised you don’t know how this self-deception brings harm to a person. But I forget, you yourself are probably under this deception. When a person tries to show others who he wants to be, and is able to make them believe this is who he really is, eventually he starts to actually believe it himself. When this self-deception meets with reality, this causes a personality breakdown. Imagine a person who wants to show everybody that he’s adventurous, but in reality he is timid; at the end of the day, he’ll log off his phone and face his true self, not the one he portrays online. Being successful in acquiring friends and admirers, as an adventurous person, he will resent every second he has to live as his true timid self and will eventually renounce his true identity for the one he’s created online. This shift from real personality to a synthetic one will cause him to become a recluse from the real world, where he lives as a scared, timid person, and immerse himself in his created world. Unfortunately for these people, it is impossible to escape reality, ultimately they have to face who they really are. No matter how much you want to be somebody else, you never will be. And instead of changing yourself, you make others, and to a certain extent yourself, think you’re someone you really aren’t. When you find out that making others believe you’re ‘Don Juan’ will actually never make you ‘Don Juan’, you’ll hate yourself and everything about your real life because you won’t be who you want to be. This will cause you depression and misery that can only be overcome in one way. The way to overcome this is by actually changing into who you want to be out here in the real world; although this will never happen if you continue to think how your phone has taught you, which is that you can just create a new personality online and convince others. We are taught to believe that we can’t change who we are, so we settle for the next best thing, which is creating a personality representing everything we’d like to be and ascribe it to our real character. Like I said earlier, this causes you to live a false life, while loathing and detesting our real life. Before, this was not possible; if we claimed we had certain characteristics, we had to express them, or show them, to make people believe us. But now, all we have to do is make people believe it online and we deceive ourselves into believing it too. Unfortunately, the wretchedness of this deception does not only harm the perpetrator, it also brings misery to the ones being deceived.”
“How are others harmed by this deception?”
“Go get your phone and I will show you.”
Confused, but curious, Lempo climbed onto the washing machine again to check and see if the phone had enough power. Satisfied, Lempo jumped down and said, “Okay, I have my phone; what are you going to show me?”
“First, you have to get into one of your social media accounts.”
“Alright, hold up.” Within seconds Lempo was able to log into his favorite site and said, “There you go, I’m logged in; now what?”
“Now I want you to pull up one of your favorite pictures. But before you show it to me; I want you to answer some questions.”
Lempo quickly found a picture he really liked and said, “I’m ready, so what are you going to ask?”
The man thought for a moment; after a few seconds, he said, “When you look at someone else’s picture on their profile, what’s the first thing that goes through your mind?”
“I think about how innocent and happy they look.”
“Yes, exactly, that’s what I think too. There are so many happy people out there huh.”
“Obviously, being young, they are too naïve to see their strive for happiness will only lead to misery; nonetheless, they still enjoy life, while I’m full of pain, misery, and loneliness.”
“How often do you see a picture on a social media site with gloomy people on it?”
“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one.”
“What does this tell you?”
“It tells me that my peers are happy and enjoying life, while I sit here full of misery and hopeless. How has everyone else managed to find happiness and enjoy life, while I am left out?”
“Now show me the picture you chose.”
Lempo clicked on the screen and handed the man his phone. The man took the phone and observed the picture. After looking at it, the man showed the phone to Lempo and said, “Look at this picture.”
Lempo replied, “What about it?”
“Look how happy you look; it seems like you’re enjoying yourself. Didn’t you say that you’re being left out of the happiness and enjoyment of life?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, this picture shows me that you too are happy and enjoying life. And what about this picture,” the man swiped the screen and showed it to Lempo saying, “You have a big smile in this one too; you’re not miserable, you’re happy.”
“In that first picture, I was happy and enjoying myself, but only for that short moment. My life is full of misery, but every once in a while I do have fun. That snapshot was just an instance in which I was having fun. And in that second picture, I forced that smile. What kind of person wants to show people a picture where they’re sad and have a gloomy expression?”
“What you said brings me right to my point. These two pictures, according to you, are not an accurate representation of who you are, because if all I had were these two pictures, I would conclude that you are a happy individual who’s enjoying life. But in reality, you say you are miserable and unhappy. This brings me to my argument, when I said that by deceiving others, it brings you harm. In this case, you are deceiving people by making them think you are happy, but in reality, you’re miserable.”
“How does this harm me?”
“How will anyone help you with your misery and hopelessness if they think you are happy and don’t seem to have any problems? By looking at these pictures, no one will ever believe you’re depressed. You are deceiving others into thinking you’re happy, and, more importantly, you’re deceiving yourself. How will you ever change your current state of depression if all you have to do is go online and live a synthetic, seemingly happy life?”
Lempo sat there, thinking, unable to respond to the man’s question.
He interrupted Lempo’s thoughts by saying, “I want you to think about that later; for now, let’s move on to my next argument. I was talking about your deception hurting others. You already proved how this deception can hurt others, but it needs to be clarified.”
“When did I prove this?”
“Be patient my boy, it will all be clear soon. There are two ways this deception works, although in the first way, deception is too strong of a word, since it implies a person is doing this on purpose. I will begin with this more benign form of deception, which involves the ‘capturing’ of a glimpse of happiness. People don’t do this on purpose, or even realize they’re doing it, but when someone posts a picture showing a moment of happiness, it portrays to everyone a picture of that person having fun. Although that person might actually be having fun, it is only for that short moment, but sometimes this is not an accurate representation of their lives; it is only a snapshot in time. The deception begins when a person posts a multitude of these pictures, capturing brief glimpses of happiness online, for everyone to see. All those pictures create or portray a happy life; you may even call it a perfect life, since all you see are pictures full of joyful people laughing and having the time of their lives. It is in our nature to feel a need to capture our moments of happiness and joy, while never thinking twice of doing it for our not so good moments, or even moments of routine, daily life. When the only thing I show people are my best moments, I paint a picture of my life showing a life full of happiness and joy that is pretty much perfect and flawless. This, like I said, isn’t done on purpose by trying to deceive people, but instead it is a natural tendency of ours to only want to capture and display our best moments.”
“The second type of deception is usually done with purpose, but not for any malicious reason, although it generates the same result as if it were.”
“And what is the result?” asked Lempo.
“I’m getting to that,” replied the man, “So as I was saying, the second form of deception happens when a person takes a picture of themselves, or maybe next to someone, but the person in the picture fakes a smile. The wider the smile, the more damage this deception does. A perfect example of this is you. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you depressed when that second photo I saw was taken?”
“Yes, I was.”
“Were you as depressed as you are now?”
“Of course, I just took that picture yesterday.”
“So even though you are miserable, you were still able to force a big smile when you took the picture?”
“Like I said earlier, no one shows pictures of themselves looking depressed.”
“So you hid your true feelings behind that smile?”
“Yes.”
“Therefore that makes it a fake smile.”
“I won’t deny that.”
“Don’t you see that you’re deceiving everyone who sees that picture into thinking that you are happy?”
“It can be seen that way, but deceiving was not my intention. I just didn’t feel it was right to post a picture with a morbid expression on my face. Is it really wrong to do what feels natural?”
“It’s hard to believe that you honestly don’t see the problem with deceiving people, making them believe you’re always happy.”
Lempo interrupted saying, “What do you mean? I don’t do that.”
“Oh, really? What do you think goes through someone’s mind when they see you smiling in every single picture? Don’t forget about those photos capturing those true moments of happiness. Adding these fake smiles to those of true happiness will paint a picture depicting a boy who is enjoying life. Now if I were to go through all of your pictures, would I draw this conclusion from them?”
Lempo took a moment to answer, then said, “Yes, I believe you would.”
The man said, “So, you are painting a false image of your life, making everyone think you are living a perfectly happy life when in fact your life is miserable. Do you see how this deception is harming those people who see your ‘online’ life?”
“No, I don’t believe I’m harming anyone.”
“But this happens to you every day and it’s causing you tremendous harm. In fact, it might be one of the main issues that is intensifying your depression.”
“No one’s doing this kind of deception to me.”
“Do you really think you are the only one deceiving people in this manner? How can you be so smart, but at the same time so ignorant? A lot of people are doing the exact same thing; taking pictures with fake smiles and capturing short moments of happiness, while neglecting to show the other 90% of their life, which represents their true self. This deception has been so successful you have been tricked into believing everyone else is somehow enjoying life while you are left out to wallow in misery and loneliness. You, like everyone else, have never stopped to think that a lot of people are in the same boat as you. Everyone is thinking that everybody else’s life is happy, while their own is not and they don’t realize that those perfect lives being portrayed are but false smiles and fleeting moments of joy. It is hard not to fall prey to this deception when we don’t actually meet the people that we communicate online with in person. All we see of their lives are fake pictures. This all goes back to people being able to create an imaginary personality, which in most cases is a happy person; and are able to convince everyone that they are truly happy. No only are your peers doing this, but even the adults do it..”
Lempo’s eyes were wide open and he looked like he had just received a great revelation, as if a veil had been lifted from his eyes. But he did not reply, or make any sound, for he was still taking in the magnitude of this revelation.
The man continued, “How can anyone have a real relationship with someone when they communicate with impersonal, black letters on a screen that have no solid foundation in reality and all they see of their lives are deceitful pictures? When you deal with someone on your phone, you are not dealing with an actual person, but instead you’re dealing with a construct of someone’s imagination. You do not meet someone as they truly are, but as they would like to be.”
Lempo came out of his trance and said, “You make it seem as if people cannot lie and deceive others when they are communicating face to face. People do this all the time. There are many people who are able to deceive others when talking to them in person. They can put on a fake smile and flaunt happy moments to make everyone who sees them think that they are happy. Everything you said is no more prevalent online than in real life. I see miserable people deceiving others into thinking that they are happy.”
The man grimaced as he listened to Lempo. Nodding, he said, “Yes, yes I am aware of all that, but you don’t seem to realize the difference between a personal encounter with someone and an encounter with them on social media. When you interact with somebody on social media, or through texts, or reading their posts, etc., no personality comes through those black letters, even the symbols only represent objectified emotions and bland characteristics of one’s personality. How can one know a person’s heart or true self if all they show is an image of an isolated part of their life? And all they share of their being are indifferent black letters that mask their emotions? Interacting through a phone cannot cultivate a close, personal relationship; the people communicating only on their phone will never know who the person on the other side really is and their true feelings can never be known either, no matter how many of their posts one reads. On the other hand, when talking face to face, a person’s true feelings cannot be masked; a person can’t hide their true self, no matter how hard they try. A person shows their true self by their demeanor, facial expression, body movements, tone of voice, and many other ways; whereas a picture or black letters on a screen will never be able to capture that.”
“Communication is much more than spoken words that can be converted into a sentence on a screen. Communication is meant to bring you closer to someone, by not only helping them understand what you are saying, but to make them feel it. What you say cannot be felt when texting or using pictures to get your point across. What you have to say is more authentically conveyed to someone when you look them straight in the eye and say what you have to say, not only with your words, but with your body, face, and movements. When you’re next to someone talking, you can feel they’re energy and they yours. I’m not talking about any kind of new age concept of energy, but energy in the sense of being able to feel the power and influence of the way a person’s mouth moves as they talk, or the way they stare at you or their surroundings. Even the slightest twitch of the body can affect the interpretation of the message being conveyed. The manner in which a person stands, walks, leans, or sits affects how their words are being received.”
“Even a person’s tone can determine the interpretation of the content being said. The speed of someone’s voice is enough to change a topic. The spoken word can sound high, slow, fast, stuttery, squeaky, loud, quiet, assertive, demanding, pleasing, annoying, musical, playful, serious, frightened, cocky, humble, angry, inquisitive, etc., the list goes on. None of these things can be accurately conveyed talking on the phone, much less by texting or messaging, because body language has a lot to do with communicating in conjunction with the sounds of the words being spoken. A person can sound mad, but physically portray a playful expression. There is so much more to communication than mere words being said; the manner in which they are said has a lot to do with interpreting what is said and again, none of this can be done through a phone.”
“Also, every individual has their own unique manner of communicating, but this cannot be known when using a phone or through social media. Interacting on a phone filters everyone’s unique personality that is found in the words they say and use, you may even call it their own, personal language. The phone converts it into a synthetic language with no personality of its own. There is no life in the lines posted or sent on a phone and even if you try to force life into them by adding symbols, they will remain void of personality. Can a symbol replicate the feelings of love, a gracious smile, a heartfelt hug, or even a simple thank you? Relationships cannot be cultivated with a dead, impersonal, digital language. You can see a difference in the words chosen and where they’re placed, but you cannot feel that difference when talking on a phone or reading posts.”
As the man paused, Lempo said, “I understand what you’re saying, but I agree with some parts of your premise, and disagree with other parts. I mean that I agree that there is no life in the texts and posts, but life is added to them by the receiver. The words in themselves might be impersonal, but the person receiving those words makes them personal, because he or she knows the personality of the sender and can apply their personality to those words.”
“What you say makes sense, although there are two major problems with your reasoning,” said the man, “First and foremost, what you say can only be applied to people with whom you already have a relationship; and many people you communicate with by phone are not in this category. Therefore, for most people you will not be able to apply personality to their words or posts. The second problem involves those people that you do know and have a relationship with. Even though you may know their personality, this does not change the fact that they are not able to implant their true meaning via only impersonal texts. A person imparts their personality into their spoken words and it is up to you to interpret their meaning and mood. Yes, it is true, you can add the sender’s personality to their messages or posts, but how accurate will you be if you don’t see their body language and mood to make a wise interpretation. The same person can say the exact same phrase in two separate situations and have two entirely different meanings, depending on their body language and mood at that time. A person viewing those same phrases via texts or posts will not be able to distinguish their true meaning, as someone face to face can.”
Lempo said, “You act as if people just randomly say things to each other. This is not the case; usually there is a certain topic being discussed and from this topic the specific meaning of a sentence may be discerned.”
“You may be able to discern what’s being said, but you will not experience it. Connecting with someone through a discussion involves more than just understanding the discussion, because the connection is made when each individual experiences and takes in the discussion. The faintest smile can turn an acquaintance into a friend or a friend into a lover.”
Lempo gave the man a smile and said, “What you say makes sense, but even so, social media cannot be all bad. What if I told you that most people spend more than half their time browsing social media, checking people’s posts, pictures, videos, and anything else there is to find? So see, they aren’t all just spending their time lying and deceiving others; instead, they are trying to keep informed.”
The man said, “This is just as bad, if not worse. What you’re saying is that people are using social media as a distraction so they won’t have to face their miserable, lonely life. Because the truth of the matter is these people aren’t browsing to ‘keep informed’, they are doing it to occupy time so they won’t be bored; to them life is boring. Doing this browsing is no different than taking a drug that makes the pain go away, if only for a short time. Because at the end, everyone has to come back from their high to reality and again be faced with misery, pain and loneliness. Looking at pointless posts, which mostly consist of false and deceptive statements or useless information and pictures will, in most cases, not help you improve your life; instead it will keep you stagnated. The only thing you’re doing is losing yourself on social media by browsing and not changing your life, or anything about yourself. You will just be wasting your life away.”
“So, you believe social media is all bad?”
The man answered, “No, it is not. It can be used for good, but what I am trying to tell you is to not get lost in the world of social media, for it will not be able to replace the real one. The reason you feel lonely is because you are fulfilling your need for connection and trying to get to know people via an impersonal method. The world of social media is so big and deceptive and it tries to mass produce something that is founded over a period of intimate experiences, not at a click of a button or a quick view of a post. Friendship is more than a couple of likes and approving comments; it is something precious that is shared over a lifetime of good and bad experiences, not a stream of posts.”
He continued, “You young kids have lost yourselves in your phones, to the point that you’ve isolated yourselves and have become lonely and empty. And you think that merely making more online friends and accumulating more likes from people you’ve never met will make this loneliness subside. Maybe you have spent hours browsing their posts, viewing their pictures and videos, or you’ve read a short bio about these people, but do you really know who they are? Can you really call them friends?”
“Everyone you meet online is an imposter in one way or another, for it is impossible to perfectly represent yourself through any media your phone has to offer. There are too many limitations in the programming of any phone to grasp the spectrum and complexity of even one single person’s entire character. By confining yourselves to the world of social media, you are choosing to narrow your view of reality and the people who live among you. Image everything you’re missing out on because you’re only satisfying two senses, sight and hearing, and neglecting the other three. Living on your phone is like living in an illusion, a synthetic world that swallows all your attention and vies for all your time, but in the end it leaves you alone and empty.”
By the time the man finished speaking, Lempo had his hands covering his face and remained motionless. As the man reached over to tap Lempo on his shoulder, he stirred and lifted his face up to look at the man. Lempo’s face was full of tears. The man asked, “What’s wrong?”
Lempo, in a stuttering voice, said, “You are trying to take away the only thing in this miserable world that makes me happy. On my phone I feel accepted and loved, and I enjoy many hours of browsing friends’ posts and videos. The real world is full of misery and pain, so I know I’m not missing out on anything good.”
“But don’t you understand that the world in your phone is an illusion, full of false representations of people who can never fully know you. How can you be accepted and loved by people who don’t even know you. You have fallen for a lie, a false world; it’s a world that preys on your beliefs and not on reality or truth. Thinking you’re accepted and loved is different than actually being accepted and loved. Social media makes you think you have x amount of friends, but how many of those can you really call a friend? Reality is being distorted and watered down and nothing you think you are accomplishing is actually being accomplished. Think about it; are you making any real friends or even getting to know the person behind the false representation of their profile and posts? Are you enjoying and living a fulfilling life by watching pointless videos and browsing posts and pictures all day? Is your phone making your life any less miserable or lonely? Is it?”
Lempo remained quiet, with tears flowing down his face.
The man said, “Of course it’s not. The best it can do is distract you from your pain, or make you believe you aren’t lonely, when in reality you are just as lonely, or even more so, as before. Don’t get me wrong, a phone can be used for good. For example, it can keep you in contact with a true friend that you know personally, or even help you meet someone who you will eventually meet in person and maybe become a true friend. It can also help you become part of a group, but until you meet the people in the group in person, and participate in the group’s activities, you will not be truly accepted by them. There are also many videos or posts that teach you how to do things, but unless you do those thing that the videos or post teach in real life, then they would have only served as a distraction. These are some things that a phone can be good for and they all have one thing in common; they all involve using the phone as a medium to help you do things in real life. The problem with most people is that they do not use the phone as a tool to make their real life better, but instead they use it as a replacement for real life; the phone becomes their real life.”
Lempo finally broke the silence, “It is better to live in the comfortable world of your phone than this miserable life I have in the real world.”
“But at the end of the day, you’re still miserable because your digital life only serves to distract you from your misery. Anything that does not relieve you of this misery is contributing to it.”
At this moment, Lempo’s phone made the universally recognized sound announcing a new message. Before this noise could instinctively make Lempo feel better, the man said, “That sound and the message behind it might make you feel good for a moment, but you and I both know that feeling never lasts. Sooner or later, no matter how many times you get a high from that sound, it never lasts and you soon become miserable again. So, even though that sound makes you feel good for an instant, it’s also contributing to your misery since it doesn’t do anything to permanently help you.”
In between sobs, Lempo said, “If my life is miserable and the only thing I thought was helping me is actually contributing to my misery, then what’s left to live for?”
The man had a look of victory on his face, which filled Lempo with rage, but before he could express that rage, the man said, “I am not wearing a sadistic smile of satisfaction, no this is a smile of a helper. When I heard you talking about your despair I felt an urge to help you.”
“What are you talking about? How have you helped me, when you’ve only made me feel worse?”
“There’s a reason for everything I’ve said.”
Lempo had ceased crying and was now speaking with anger. He said, “All you’ve done is ruin the last thing that brought me joy.”
The man, with a sincere expression and calm tone said, “Please just hear me out before you judge my intentions.”
“Go ahead, say what you have to say.”
Before the man could utter another word, a boy came running into the laundromat yelling “Lempo!”. Lempo recognized the boy and stood up; he asked, “What’s wrong, why do you look like that?”
“I’ve been trying to reach you on your phone. Have you not seen the messages I’ve left?”
“No, I’ve been busy talking with that man sitting over there.” As Lempo looked where he was pointing, he noticed that the man had gone.
“What man? There’s no on over there. Anyways, I really wished you would have seen my messages or at least all the online posts. Now I have to tell you in person.” The boy did not want to meet Lempo’s eyes as he spoke.
Lempo grabbed the boy’s shoulder and said, “Kintoon, look at me, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
Kintoon lifted his eyes to see the bottom part of Lempo’s face and in a soft voice said, “There… there was an accident. They got hurt. She’s, she’s…”
Before Kintoon could finish, his mom approached them. She was tear-eyed and in a hushed voice looked at Kintoon and said, “We have to go. They said she’s asking for you.” As she stared at Kintoon, tears began to fill her cheeks.
Pale as a ghost, Kintoon only managed to say, “Come,” as he tapped Lempo’s shoulder.