"Notebook Plus" by Richard F. Yates

I'm trying to remember, as an old guy, but I don't believe that I liked to color in coloring books when I was younger. I preferred to draw my own pictures. I was never very SKILLED at drawing or painting, but what I lacked in ability I made up for in enthusiasm and "out of the box" thinking. I am what can kindly be called "creative," but what some folks might prefer to call "bat-shit-crazy," and it's a verifiable fact that mental illness runs thick and fast in my family.

I, personally, suffer from severe anxiety, depression, (sometimes megalomania,) near crippling phobias, insomnia, and a Holy Host of sensory issues. However, I haven't had to go to therapy or take medications for my issues since I was in junior high. (I was first introduced to "therapy" back in the late 1970s when I was still in first grade!) Several of my family members, on the other hand, have to take some pretty heavy drugs---mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, anti-depression meds---and a few opt for "self-medicating" to "take the edge off," but I manage to survive, day to day, without chemicals. (Aside from caffeine...) Luckily, my issues aren't as severe as some of my family members' are---and I have a very understanding wife! (She's brave!)

So what are the major factors to which I can attribute the minor miracle of being relatively functional (for short periods of time) in public without prescription meds? There are two primary BEHAVIORS that I've cultivated that have helped me to cope:

One - Reading. (This one is pretty simple.) Around 5 or 6 years old, I started reading---A LOT---and I never stopped. I read everything: comics, kids' books, Victorian era gothic literature, philosophy, psychology, world religion, cognition and perception texts, poetry, plays, mythology, modern horror and science fiction novels, Y.A. fantasy, art history, biography, etc... I read constantly and voraciously. Helps me through the dark nights when I can't sleep... Reading helps me learn and think and process information. These things are essential because you have to keep a neurotic and hyper mind occupied (or BAD things happen...)

Two - Creating, specifically through drawing and writing. Even BEFORE I learned to read, I started to draw, and I still draw every day. And, thanks to all my reading, I also started to write. In fact, even as a little kid, I frequently "made up stories" a lot---in other words, I LIED. I lied all the time, about everything---even about pointless things that didn't matter. Eventually, I discovered that writing my lies down on paper changed them from "normal" lies into something much more respectable: FICTION.

When I was about seven years old, (this was an important moment in my life,) my mom bought me a diary. This started a life-long interest in journaling. (I still have that diary, four decades later.) I have boxes full of journals at this point, and between journal writing, fiction, poetry, various reviews, blog posts, and my experimental word-art projects, I am able to keep my head moving in creative directions (so I don't have time to worry.)

I draw and write to entertain myself and keep my head above water. I also SHARE my stuff because I think it's funny, sometimes, and I like to make other people laugh (or get the chills. You might not be able to tell from a post like this one, but I'm actually a pretty solid writer---especially when it comes to creating horror stories. I KNOW what's scary! Maybe I'll share some of those stories here on Steemit one of these days...)

However, because of my skewed perspective, I never know which posts are going to connect with the "normal" folks, and which ones are going to FLOP.

[For those who can't read the image above, here's what it says: "The weird thing is the not-knowing. I write and draw every day---and I find everything that I do equally entertaining. But, for some reason, SOME things take off and connect with folks, and other stuff just doesn't. LUCKILY!!! The point of my CREATIONS is to make ME feel good, and I feel good when I FINISH stuff. GOOD stuff surprises me, and the BAD stuff makes me laugh... AND I LOVE TO LAUGH!"]

How about you? How do you cope? Let's discuss!

---Richard F. Yates

[The image for this post comes from my most recent notebook. It's ink on paper with digital embellishments and colors. Stick figures and anthropomorphized celestial bodies are common recurring elements in my "work." ---RFY]

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