The Forked Dictionary - Part H

in writing •  8 years ago 

(Reborn)

Handshake: When two businessmen meet, they shake hands. When two computers meet they kiss and hug each other in an embarrassingly ostentatious show of affection that would make an Italian blush – sometimes it’s a little bit too enthusiastically, to be honest. However it’s all done in the blink of an eye, so we don’t see it happen. Computer engineers, however know this and, for the sake of propriety, refer to such behavior as a handshake.

Help Desk: A team of highly trained counselors whose job is to calm you down and sympathize with you when your technology fails.

Help Subsystem: Help Subsystem ~ A maze of poorly written and badly organized advice for the use of which there are no instructions.

Heretic: Someone who doesn’t believe in open source. Heretics used to be burned at the stake, but nowadays they just get flamed.

Home Computer: What you say to your computer if it starts to follow you about.

Hypertext: Text on amphetamines.

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