Military Jokes and Humor

An Army base staff that was planning war games didn’t want to use live ammunition. Instead they informed the soldiers: “In place of a rifle, you go, ‘Bang, bang.’ In place of a knife, you go, ‘Stab, stab.’ In place of a hand grenade, you go, ‘Lob, lob.’”
The game was in progress when one of the soldiers saw one of the enemy. He said, “Bang, bang,” but nothing happened. He ran forward and shouted, “Stab, stab,” but nothing happened. He ran back and went, “Lob, lob,” but nothing happened. Finally he walked up to the enemy and said, “You’re not playing fair. I went ‘Bang, bang’ and ‘Stab, stab’ and ‘Lob, lob’ and you haven’t fallen dead yet!”
The enemy responded, “Rumble, rumble, I’m a tank.”

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That’s no way to address an officer.
Now, let’s try that again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, sir!

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