A long, long time ago in a vast, vast galaxy...
After leaving the hot planet Mooyani, a group of witches fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a rural, space house.
Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Virginia Blackman, a scary robot capable of gluttony and even drugs.
Terrified, a sloppy goblin known as Dolly Parker flees the Empire, with her protector, Phillip Sparkle.
They head for Upper Boggington on the planet Dune. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Sparkle uses his vast razor to defend Dolly.
Sparkle and Goblin Dolly decide it's time to leave Dune and steal a car to shoot their way out.
They encounter a tribe of ogres. Sparkle is attacked and the goblin is captured by the ogres and taken back to Upper Boggington.
Sparkle must fight to save Goblin Dolly but when he accidentally unearths a damp blade, the entire future of the vast, hot galaxy is at stake.
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