If it touches the ground, you need a new one. This just in: Soap a thing of the past. Also, what's a kitchen?

It was a quiet night and all of our women were fast asleep.

It was a good thing, because Walmart was up to no good again. Or was this message for us?

Thanks to Walmart, we can just reorder things whenever they get dirty. Why clean anything at all?

We sat and watched this commercial in silence as the baby and the dog worked in unison like a team. Goal: Spend Daddy's money on nooks and bottles. This couple must have HODL'd. Perhaps Walmart Reorder is for HODL'ers (or maybe germophobes)

@bitfiend: I guess if anything of yours touches the ground, you have to reorder a new one.

and @logicluke says: I'm pretty sure my wife touched the ground earlier.

Who is @logicluke? He's my friend. He says a lot. This just happened a few nights ago. Together we laughed, and I felt it necessary to share this with #comedyopenmic.

comedyopenmic

If this is your first time falling on the #comedyopenmic tag, it was started by the one that was formerly known as @idikuci (and still known as @idikuci). Rules posted here. If I made a post, I think that you can. Go ahead, be funny! Join up, win, lose, have fun. Or make stupid jokes like me!

Here you have it though, idi. I mean I've been reading some others, hard to compete! Some funny dudes joining the fun.

@bitfiend