"Love Came Twice- the Finale" with epilogue by me(updated). Otherwise, these are all Mama's words, as she wrote them

in family-history •  6 years ago  (edited)

Finale.jpg

Recap

 
At the end of Chapter Four, my sister Sylvia had borne her child, then while the family kept baby Debbie at home, she went back to school, enduring much ostracism and negativity, finished High School. After the graduation ceremony, she announced that she’d married a much older man months before, so she took Debbie and they all went with her new husband.
That left Mama’s youngest by her first marriage, John, Daddies son by his first marriage, Joe and my sister Linda,
[their child together], at home, living in the quarters over the service station in our home town.
We were still a close family, with those living nearby.
Mama’s eldest, Nancy lived in Savannah, she had a son who was now three years old, and a daughter soon to be born, 3 months after me


Soon after Sylvia was married Claude started selling chain saws and we had been selling them for about a year when the company had a convention for all the salesmen and dealers and their wives.
The convention was in Birmingham, Alabama. We went and had a wonderful time.

Not long after we came home I discovered I was pregnant, for which I was very disappointed.

Our only child, Linda was eight and a half years old. We did not want any more children and I hated it because of Claude drinking so much.
June the tenth we left for Tavares Florida to spend a few days. Claude had hurt his back and could not work at all. I had to do all the driving on the trip because he could not drive.
We took all the children with us. It took two cars to carry us all. We rented a large cabin and we had a wonderful time. We carried our cook with us and this made the vacation much more enjoyable. The boys and Sylvia learned to water ski, but they all got sunburned real bad. We took them to Silver Springs and they were all thrilled very much by all the things they saw.


Our baby was born August nineteen fifty-five. We named him Jerry.

Claude is a wonderful husband and father as long as he is not drinking, but as soon as he takes a few drinks he becomes a different man.
The children are afraid of him and the baby, who worships his Daddy just won’t let Claude touch him while he knows his Daddy is drinking.




I have prayed for God to open his heart before it is too late.


All the other children left home sooner than they would have if their Dad had not drank so much. I hope he will see his mistake in time to keep the three children we have left from doing the same.

I know Claude can’t work much longer because his back still gives him lots of trouble.

If God can see fit to show him the way, we still have a wonderful life ahead of us.

We have enough property and insurance to give us a good living without either of us having to work very much.



We have a nice place on the river not too far from Town. We spend all our spare time there now.
We have a three-room house there. One room is real large. It is our living room, dining room and kitchen. The other two rooms are bedrooms.

There is a big white beach and plenty of good swimming
.

I pray Claude can see before it is too late what he is doing to our
future that should be the most wonderful time of our life.
We have eight wonderful grandchildren and before this year is over
we will have ten.
We have ten children and I hope we will be able to enjoy our
grandchildren as we did not have time to be with and enjoy our children.
My health had not been very good since my last baby was born, so in
October I went to a female specialist for examination and he found I
needed surgery right away. I had surgery on October the Fifth.
Now I feel so much better I can work all day and not get tired.
If Claude could just stop drinking now we could be very happy,
Claude, the children and I.

Here ends what Mama wrote, which SHE entitled,

"Love Came Twice"


Epilogue

This is now me writing, filling in some holes, and continuing with our family story,

Triumphs and Tragedies

As you now know, my family was rather...prolific...
On Daddies side,
Claudelle ended up with six children, Sylvia had seven.
Robbie ended up with three children.
Robbie had contracted Measles at an early age; the
neurological damage resulted in him being nearly stone deaf.
He was still extremely intelligent and became a highly paid Boiler Maker.
He also became a bad alcoholic. Alcohol, the scourge of my family.
Working, welding inside huge boilers for electric power plants, meant he was
exposed to Asbestos, before anyone outside the
Gov't and the Corporations knew of the dangers.
He died in 2003 from Mesothelioma.
~
Joe,
Daddy's youngest was also intelligent but strong willed and rebellious.
He and Daddy were always at odds over stupid stuff.

He was drafted in 1965, and less than a year later was severely burned in
Vietnam, he died in Okinawa 10 days later.
They wouldn't let us open the coffin.
~
On Mama's side, her eldest Nancy, had four; three boys and one girl:
Darlene, who was born 3 months after I was born.
Darlene died in 2002 from a rare form of very rapid onset Cancer.

Darlene in Savannah Ga
~
Bobbie,
Mama's second daughter, led quite a tragic life. She married and
had to leave the Navy. She and Tom had one child, Gene.

That marriage didn't last long, and she embarked on a sordid journey
which I won't go into, but I am pretty sure I heard that she'd had another
child and gave him up for adoption.
For many years, we in the family watched her decline, she had
what we called "Pin Strokes" and would experience days, sometimes
weeks of irrational or delusional behavior.
Later, she married a Navy "Chief Petty Officer" (who had 4 sons of his
Own) not long before he was discharged;
Reason for that discharge? Schizophrenia, 100% disabled.
What a pair.

In something like 2008, her son Gene, (who also grew into a nut job)
had tried to be a caregiver for her, and had gotten a spot for her
in the "Ga War Veterans Home" in Milledgeville Ga
(sort of a nursing home special care).
She had been diagnosed with "Lewy Body Dementia"
She died about 18 months after being admitted to that facility.
~
Mama's son Jim,(who has hardly been mentioned in this whole narrative)
joined the Army in 1959, went to Korea, and came back a changed man.

Opinionated, hard to get along with, he steadily retreated from the family.
Last year I went to see him for the first time in over 30 yrs.
He lives about 150 mi from here. Never married, no children.

~
John, Mama's youngest with Mr Loren, also left us early to join the Air Force.
He married a woman from Massachusetts, had four wonderful children. (He too, struggled with Alcohol for years) He and his wife still live up North.
Since my original posting of this story, my brother John's oldest Daughter
Committed Suicide, ON MY BIRTHDAY. I've not heard if any reason nor
Explanation was discovered, I didn't know about it for two days.

It was and still is devastating to us all.

Claude and Margaret


Pictured here at their 25th anniversary party at our house in 1971.
By now, Daddy was well and truly about to retire
(despite what Mama said in her story, he never STOPPED working for long).
He had finally begun to put down the bottle too.
He and Mama had taken up GOLF for god's sake!

~The Wreck~

Three years later, in
April of 1974, as we were leaving Church on Sunday Morning,
the three of us, me Mama and Daddy, with me driving and all in the front
seat of a GMC Sprint (like a Ford El Camino), had a wreck. I was driving.
I had pulled out in front of an oncoming car. We were 'Tee-Boned',
with the impact hitting us squarely at Daddy's door.
He was severely injured, all of his ribs were broken, lungs pierced,
pelvic girdle broken.
Mama had three ribs and her pelvic girdle broken from the force of
Daddy being slammed into her.
The two of them and the impact of the seat being shoved sideways,
popped open my door, I fell out and scraped my elbow.

Daddy was taken to Savannah, where he lived in ICU for 3 wks, 3 days.
Being on a ventilator, he couldn't speak, though he desperately tried,
oh how he tried.
They gave him paper and pen, paper and markers,
but what he wrote out was gibberish.
He died without ever being able to tell me whatever it was he wanted to say.

At this point, at 18, Daddy and I were always butting heads.
I was a Hippie, and he had no clue what to make of me.

Since I had already begun drinking (at age 14), smoking pot (16)
experimenting with hallucinogens, when the accident happened
(I was NOT HIGH), I couldn't help but wonder if due to some
quirk in my brain, I had not seen the oncoming car, with the
bizarre thought that with Daddy gone/out of the way, my conflicts
with him would be ended, and I would then inherit the house,
business and properties.
(Obviously, the thought had previously crossed my mind)

For MANY MANY years I sought absolution in the bottom of the bottle,
associating with the DREGS of life, using just about every drug there is and
ended up squandering everything I had inherited, the house, the money...
all my bridges burned in my small hometown.

It would be another 35 yrs before I too, put away the drugs and alcohol, and
have made peace with my part in Daddy's death.
~
Mama died in 2002 after (mercifully) a very short bout with a
rapid onset form of cancer.
~
Linda? She married and had two children, one of whom is a pride and joy,
a musician(singer) of great talent (I taught her everything she knows... NOT☺,
but my music did wear off on all my family).
Her brother, is a different matter. Problem child from the start, still to this day at
50 something, cannot hold a job, and is on full SS disability.


"Love Came Twice"
The finale
by
Jerry E Smith
©1/27/2018

This is mainly for @janton, since he was the only one to show any real
Ongoing interest in this post this time around.

and for those who wish to start from the beginning, here are the links

Part one, the beginning
https://steemit.com/qurator/@jerrytsuseer/a-revisiting-of-an-earlier-post-because-i-think-janton-would-be-interested-love-came-twice-my-mother-s-story-in-her-own-words
Chapter Two
https://steemit.com/qurator/@jerrytsuseer/2m75u4-love-came-twice-a-true-story-written-by-my-mother-chapter-two
Chapter Three
https://steemit.com/nonfiction/@jerrytsuseer/love-came-twice-chapter-three-a-true-account-of-my-mother-and-my-family-s-early-years-in-her-own-words
Chapter Four
https://steemit.com/nonfiction/@jerrytsuseer/49evfv-love-came-twice-mama-s-story-in-her-own-words-chapter-four


These .gifs were created for me by @coquiunlimited; many thanks





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Howdy sir jerrytsuseer! That is a great story of your mom's life. Your father finally stopped drinking so they had some really good years yes? I'm struck by how much alcoholism and tragedy there has been in your family though. It seems like a higher percentage of tragedy than the typical family. Those strange diseases are very odd too.

But this is a great family record to leave your relatives with all those great old photos, it must have taken alot of time to put together! i think it was a great job and I appreciate you mentioning me so I wouldn't miss it!

Thank you my friend @janton, I appreciate your words.
I'm not sure which 'strange diseases' you mean tho'.
There is Cancer everywhere, and lots of dementia.
Robin Williams (the comedian) killed himself
Because he found out he had that type of
Dementia (Lewy body)for which there is
No cure and no treatment. It is even
Worse than Alzheimer I think. Lots
Of people had polio back when
We were young (I believe we
Are close to the same age)
I do believe there is some
Genetic predisposition in my
Family, toward a susceptibility
For addictions of various kinds. It
Is yet another curse we bear, and I
Must always be watchful for a relapse.
I think mama and daddy had about 3 yrs
Together after he stopped drinking, before the
Wreck.
Thank you for reading my friend.

Howdy again sir jerry! yes sir, that Dewy body dementia, that's what I was calling a strange disease. I didn't know that's what Robin Williams was diagnosed as. What a shame.
You're still scheduled for hip surgery?

Yes, counting down the days. May 6th, pre op on 4/25.
I've got two final music performance the week
Before surgery. I'm looking forward to them.
Heading off to bed now Sir janton. I'm
Taking my neighbor, who is 10 yrs
Older than me, to his home town to
Get his drivers license. His present license
Expired while he served his 29 yr sentence in
Prison. I can't get it through his head that there is
NO advantage to going to his home town (an hour away)
because all the drivers services and tests are all
The same state wide now, and no one will
Remember him in his home town in
The State Patrol Office where he'll
Have to take his test. 1 hr down,
1 hr while I wait for him to do
The written test (he can hardly
Write because of the way his hands
Shake) then another 1 hr drive
Back. Sometimes being a
Kind hearted person is a
Pain in the BUTT (*)

haha! But he would do the same for you? True friends are hard to find. Can I ask what he was in for? 29 years had to be some serious stuff!

All I have is his word for what he was in prison for, and frankly
This is a concern for me. He says that is was his ex wife and
Then girlfriend conspired, accusing him of something that
He didn't do. His (he says) court appointed attorney
Told him of how those two were sitting there in court
Plotting what they were going to say, but he had no
Way of proving it. It was his word against theirs,
And we know that in those cases, the women
Are almost always believed other the man.
29 yrs is a lot for something, so imo it
must have been something serious.
He admits to me that he has always
Had a problem with women, and
Even since I've known him here
In this building, he's paid for
Sex at least once that I
Know of. I wish I had
Some means of
Running my
Own background Check on him.
I like him, I consider him a friend, BUT
I can only trust him so far. Right now, that
Isn't very far. I am sorry to say. Yes, he
Would most likely do the same for me.

Howdy sir jerrytsuseer! That kind of situation is a little vague, where you don't know if you can trust him
completely. Normally once a con always a con but then some people do have a change of heart by the time
they get out. We know both types but most go back to their con ways of deceiving people.

And the problem is, they're so good at it that you believe them. But, in this case it doesn't sound like he's up
to no good so I'm sure it will be fine. I'm sure he just wants to finish his life in peace without any drama.

I just ran across this. So much joy and tragedy, but that is life, isn't it? Could you post the links to previous parts of the story? I don't know when you posted them, but I sure missed all of it.

There @scribblingramma, all 4 previous chapter links are there
now in this installment. ♥

It was all originally posted in 2016, but I have reposted the whole
Thing again beginning in Jan 2019, so you wouldn't have far to
Scroll to look.
I just walked in the door, but I'll try to pull up those newer links
And post them here in comments for you, or perhaps I'll
Edit the post above to include them all.
Yeah! That's a good idea, I'm
Glad you thought of it
@scribblingramma

I have now read all the installments of "Love Came Twice." What a tale of happiness and sorrow! Your mother must have been a very strong woman to survive all that life threw at her. I'm glad she took the time to write all of that history down, and that her family found it. Writing it out to post on Steemit must have brought back a flood of good and bad memories for you. I am glad you have set aside the unhealthy habits, and I hope and pray you continue to remain clean. I see you have surgery coming up soon. So does my husband: rotator cuff. Getting old is not for sissies.

My quote is "Getting old is not for the faint of heart" but the flip
Side of that coin, not getting old(dying young), is not a good option
Either. I had a minor relapse in Dec '18-mid Jan '19, because I 'd been in pain for so long, not hearing anything at all about any surgery, I had just moved, the new apartment (management) were really doing crap they shouldn't have, and I just couldn't take it, so I drank about 1.75 liters of Vodka per week for about a month.
Then the surgery ball started rolling and I haven't had any nor been temped to since.
Yes, mama and I were 'kindred spirits', I know this.
Thank you for reading it all @scribblingramma