Challenge #01539-D078: Strangely MetsteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  8 years ago 

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The world's reaction when a ship looking a lot like a vaguely aerodynamic brick lands at Cape Canaveral, looking for some fresh fruit & veg ("Reconstituted is good, but fresh is always better"), a top-up on hydrogen for their fusion reactor ("Haven't seen a depot for twelve jumps, and my magscoop's on the blink again - old damage from some pirates, probably should replace it"), a repair tech for said magscoop ("Got anyone qualified in Grade As? It's a Lurrkon Class Three, if that matters"), and if anyone wants any of their cargo ("Looking to offload these room-temp superconductors I got burnt on - they were supposed to be good enough that I could make a profit off 'em, but the guy I bought 'em off cheaped out on quality control, so they're only good for about [14 Celcius] - I know that's pretty crap quality, so I'll trade you them for some good fruit'n'veg and if you've got any media libraries I haven't already seen? Long-haul trips get pretty boring, y'know.").
The pilot did not realise we were not part of the galactic community.
Eventually people find out about the weapons mounted on their ship for defending against pirates.
(Been playing a bit of Elite over the Uni hols, and this got stuck in my head) -- RecklessPrudence

The ship did not hang in the sky in the way that bricks didn't. It descended slowly and gracefully in the way that bricks didn't. The bright, yellow , rectangular prism bristled with things that had to be guns, so naturally the field where it landed soon bristled with Earth's own armaments. And for an entire day, nothing else happened. The ship didn't fire on anyone, and several edgy generals had to be restrained from firing in self defense.

It became a camp, with the media covering the continuing inaction on the half-hour. Memes about it flooded the internet.

Finally, on the dawn following the landing, the door opened and disgorged... a lizard in a space suit. The headpiece was clear and showed a rainbow of bright scales on what had to be their face. They twiddled with their suit and spoke.

"Good morning," they chirped. "Took me a bit of a while to get the local language down. Thank the Powers for cerebral implants, yes? Sorry about the delay. Got a bit lost. Think I took the wrong turn at Berlquerqual. But since I'm here... Do you have any fresh fruits and vegetables? I'm more than willing to trade."

A silence so intense that it had its own noise. One of the generals said, "What?"

"Fruit. Vegetables. Edible plant materials. You do have edible plants, I have been monitoring your transmissions. Some are for sale, yes? I do not have your... dollars... but I do have goods that might be acceptable in a pinch. I've had these alleged live-temp superconductors some scoundrel sold me. They're only good up to 287 kelvin. Far too cold for too many species. Oh! While I'm here, I could really use a top-up of my hydrogen tanks. The scoop's been broken in a pirate incident..." the lizard trailed off, apparently taking in the heavy armaments around them for the first time. "Did you think I am hostile?"

There was some murmuring amongst the assembled military. Those of lower rank who knew some science were murmuring urgently to the higher ranks who were more than a little behind the time. Guns became lowered. Emergency conditions became turned down. Important people were called.

Someone, somewhere, ordered the largest possible fruit basket and some relevant information about the planet Earth. In tourist pamphlet format.

Negotiations began. The lizard was also looking for some entertainments to view/play/listen to during the long haul to their ultimate destination. The assembled leaders of Earth wisely decided to leave out all the ones where aliens invaded and were summarily trounced. The Galactic Alliance would find out about that later. Much, much later.

In exchange for some rendered hydrogen, care of the lizard's technology (which Earth promptly black-boxed for profit), some fruit and vegetables, a surprising volume of entertainment and an equally shocking amount of rapidly-prototyped tourist junk, Earth was richer by some superconductors, some interesting technology, and a glimpse of Galactic Society as Galrax understood it.

Both sides would only realise the inherent mistakes in all of this after the passage of a couple of years. And then, it was difficult to tell which was in more of a panic.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / TsuneoMP]

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Very amusing read, Thanks! ;)

😄😇😄

@creatr

Some things never change no matter where or what species you are XD