Why?
Am I just not shitty enough? How much shit do I have to put up with before my shit becomes thee shit?
And just who are these experts? They seem to know their shit. Why are they not analyzing my shit? Why doesn't anyone ever come to my blog and tell me my shit doesn't deserve to be where it is? This shit is unfair...
They say, "To get a post to the top, all you have to do is put some shit together and have your shitty friends vote for it."
Well, I have friends, but I can't seem to get my shit together.
Then it hit me, like a ton of brick shithouses.
I noticed something. Many of these experts who front like they know their shit, always seem to be sitting at the bottom of their own pile of shit. If they know this shit and know shit sells, their shit should be at the top... but it isn't. What's up with that shit?
Assholes
That's where shit comes from. It doesn't come from the heart.
I don't think I need to worry about this anymore, my shit post is going nowhere, and I'm fine with that shit. Those shit comments about shit don't amount to shit. I'm so glad I finally figured this shit out.
I don't need these shit experts anyway. I can take care of my own shit, without them.
I made my own award.
I carry this around with me everywhere I go. It's like the time I saw that bowling trophy at the pawn shop. I had to buy it. I wanted everyone to know how good of a bowler I truly am, even though I've never bowled. It's called confidence.
Confidence is the shit. That's the secret sauce that gives you the shits.
If you want to beat the shit, you gotta be the shit.
Oh... Before I Forget My Shit
I made that shit the other day. I really do hope it's shitty enough to go places.
As an artist here, I dream of making the top of the shit list every single day. I've listened to the advice the shit experts have put forth in the past and I think I can do this. If today were to be that day and everyone came along to tell me how shitty my stuff is, I'd be the happiest man on the planet.
Thank You for Supporting My Shit Today
~Ciao~
this post is excrement
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Thank you!
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He called the poo shit!
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I just thought it was time to face the shitty facts. I hope my stuff gets shittier and shittier from here on out.
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Wow! I hope I can get a SPotD award some day soon! Are you going to start awarding them to Steemit users?
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I'm sure it takes many years of experience and I don't think I'll ever have the qualifications necessary to hand these out. I was feeling generous though. The award is there for anyone to use, as they see fit. If you'd like to give one to yourself, feel free to do so. Frame it and hang it on your wall. I keep mine in a safe at night. I suggest you do the same.
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So...can we also award this to other users ourselves?
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I think that's what I meant somewhere in all that shit I said. It's certainly a good way to make friends! Have at it!
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I'm not so sure about that, but let's put it to the test!
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It's all about the delivery. Some shit can be messy. Just know your shit and you'll be fine.
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A version of this award could be fun, or a fast track to offending the masses at the bottom of the pile.
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I just hope people can be good sports when it comes to my shit. Some shit stings though. I'm sure people will do the right thing.
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I have thoroughly enjoyed this steeming shit.
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I thought it was about time I started to take my shit seriously and just go for it. I think you have it in you as well. Everyone does. I'm honored to hear you were able to sit down to enjoy a good shit today.
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Haha, I like it. Although I have no idea if you want me to...
;)
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You're free to enjoy my shit all you want. Feel free to come back for more!
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No shit Buddy... I keep posting shit and hoping for the best (the old "if you throw enough shit against a wall, some of it will stick") I don't think the experts know shit from shinola!
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You know what @richq11? Those people lied to me. I feel so shitty now. I fit as much shit as I possibly could into this post and it's nowhere near this so called shit list. They obviously don't know shit and I think this post finally proves that. Myth debunked.
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Well, My Friend... You know I'll never shit ya! On here if you're not whale shit- you ain't shit!!!
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You know what though. I'm pretty sure all the whales love me. It's hard not to and I get that, I really do. I think this post also proves the whales simply have not been voting for shit lately, that's all. I still think I'm the shit and that's all that matters.
Disclaimer: That last sentence and much of what we see here today is all just a rare form of humor many don't get these days.
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I wish you the best... Nobody loves me- the better my shit is, the more I get shit on! No wonder my eyes are brown!!!
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People don't shit on you though and I like some of your posts. This post of mine carries a valuable message, to me at least. I want to do well here, I really do. I see how some get treated for doing well though. It's shitty. No matter what I do or how well I do it, someone will come along to say I'm only there because of something else. That seems to happen to everyone, I doubt I'd be excluded. I wish you all the best too.
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Yes, I couldn't agree more...My friend got treated like a krnel of shit!
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Takes two to tango though. That one could have handled a few things differently.
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Did you know in Scotland they call it doing a shit? @meesterboom's story enlightened me to this fact and I was about to make fun of such a phrase until I thought about the phrase on this side of the ocean-taking a shit. And suddenly I wasn't so sure I had the right to make fun of him for doing shits, after all, where exactly are we taking these shits to?
And I figured it out, we're taking them to this post!! Here is where the shit has been brought, this post has the shit and is the shit, all of the shits are here!
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I tried my best. Things were looking good at the start. Apparently the rumors are not true though. A shit post does not trend. I guess it's back to the drawing board for me now... and I'll never listen to those people again. A hard lesson learned, but look on the bright side... I've nearly stopped saying shit.
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Hm. I'm afraid that it just wasn't quite shitty enough for that. The shit posts that trend, they aren't good firm shits, they are straight up loose pooh pooh's. Maybe that's what happened here....there's good shit and there's bad shit, and you just don't know how to make bad shit, it's a shitty fact to face.
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I think the world just isn't quite ready for my shit. Sometimes we get a bit gassed, but it's never wise to push. I did that here today and now I find myself attempting to clean it up as best I can. This will most likely remain as a shit stain on my record for many months to come...
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Look at this way, one day, when you're famous, people will pay a fortune for your shit...this shit, every piece of shit you ever made.
They'll pay a much bigger fortune for This Man granted, and pieces such as duck fat, but even your shit will be gold ;)
EDIT: To be clear, I'm just running with the joke, because I really don't think that anything you do is shit, even when it's literally about SHIT, LOL.
But forget what I think, you need to know it. You do. If it's a slow day on the platform, if people are wrapped up in wars and rumors of wars whether they be the kind that governments make, or the kind that people make over nonsense, it's got nothing to do with you. Not jumping in this post to get away from it for a moment, to laugh at themselves and the world, that's their loss. And it's nothing to do with you.
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Don't worry, I get it. Half asleep, going for the full meal deal now.
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Old friend came to visit, just go on today. Saw your chat message. lol, not necessary. Half of it was my brother's new song plus the lyrics which I broke up, so probably seems like a lot, but not really. First part was a short story I wrote you and specified that no response was required.
You've written more in comment sections ;)
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And I think it's time for.....
Tom Petty!!
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...and I fucking love this song.
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Me too!! I've listened to it twice now...think I'll go for a third, lol.
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There are shit posts and then there are shitty posts. I prefer the former to the latter but I digress, this shit post with attached shit pic is the shit.
groan, gurgle, squeeee, bloop
And with that, my friend, my bowels have gone into auto-flush mode. So before I part for the land of the eternal wipe, I bid you adieu -- and your shit pic needs some corn or peanuts in it. It might help float it to the top. ;)
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Brilliant!! I was suggesting some loose pooh pooh, but the corn..I didn't think of the corn!
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LOL Corn. Peanuts. Too many grapes.
Oh... prenatal vitamins certainly makes shit black as night and BooBerry cereal makes it an interesting shade of purple. I fear what Frankenberry would do to poo.
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My dog ate crayons once, and I found out it is possible to shit rainbows...was tempted to give it a try, wait, did I write that?
Hey, how do you make the teeny tiny letters? I get how to make them
Big
but not teeny.Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
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Ah, the tiny letters.
Superscript < sup > take out the spaces < /sup > and it will look like this
Subscript < sub > replace the p with b < /sub > and it will look like this
:)
CRAYON POO! How delightful! LOL
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Should have ate my vegetables... this is true. I should have known better. Dammit! My big chance to break out onto the shit scene... foiled by a technicality. My next shit is going to be huge, I promise!
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May it be no less than a 2 flush event!
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This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the second half of Apr 10. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $0.88 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Apr 10 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
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Hahaha I can relate very well with your article @nonameslefttouse
We only would be sure that our shit could remain at the Top Of The Shit Scene when this current plopulent 1%-only-Bot-Dung-spate appreciation increase their upvotes percentage exponentially on our shit. Fortunately you already have 403 followers & 2.936 posts under your belt to succeed on this crusade.
But in my case, I envision a more somber future regarding my crap, since no one yet not even dare to comment shit about my shit. LoL
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Are people still voting with 1%? I stopped paying attention.
I'm not even sure what to tell you in the form of advice to help you out. As for this shit post of mine... all I'm really doing here is taking a lighthearted shot at those who like to complain when they see someone doing well. I managed to get some of my work on the so called shit list on a few occasions. I worked hard to get it there. There's not much incentive to want to do well if people will just shit on you for it. Unfortunately, I don't care what they think. That's the part that makes writing up a little gag like this so easy and fun.
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Yep mate. At least that's what I'm consistently getting from long time ago!!
¡Splendid army of generous bots leaving tiny crapper all around to reward my shit! LoL
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You seem to be taking it well. Work on drumming up some support. When things aren't going right, try to keep it to yourself. Stay focused on your blog and your content. In the past, I've noticed many folks blog consistently, then suddenly snap and start complaining. Things usually get worse before they get better when they take that road. Broadcasting failure never seems to appeal to people looking for interesting or entertaining content.
It took me a long time to build up a following of people who've become accustomed to me posting ridiculous entries like this. This whole thing is just a little joke, me having fun. It's not complaining. I simply went against the status quo drama stuff. Instead of bitching about everything they are bitching about, I pretended to bitch about them. It's all just a show... entertainment. The blog is a stage for me and I perform. Those taking it seriously are unfamiliar with my work. One reason people might enjoy my stuff here is because they never know what I'll be doing next. I keep them on their toes. I fail and look like an idiot more times than I succeed and I think they like that part too. That's all part of my show as well.
Anyone can do whatever they want to do here. It takes a lot of work, dedication, all that fancy stuff. The audience doesn't come easy and nobody is entitled to rewards.
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Hahaha that's right bro and seems like you've captured correctly my bat swing & the ball slam here.
As for the rest of your comment, I concur with you!!
Howevah, I can't help it but sometimes pay too much attention to that old saying fluttering over my head way too often: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" ¿You know? :D
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In my world, when my wheels squeak, I grab my own grease gun. If it's empty, I fill it. Then I put that shit on there myself. If I find out later I used the wrong stuff, that's still my fault. Rinse, repeat, hopefully get it right.
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