Tonight I was walking to the gym. About a half block from the gym the sidewalk ends and right now that patch of grass is like an uphill oil slick from the rain and melted snow. I could cross the road but I never do. I was really priding myself on maintaining my balance when suddenly the laws of physics rule against me. My ass and legs rapidly assume prom night positioning as my back thwacks against the pool of muck I had just been successfully treading over. I lay there a moment, that kind of moment that spans decades and regresses you to the state of an injured child. I brush off the shock and return to my feet, looking around to spot any potential witnesses to my folly. From the dripping sensations on my backside I realize I'm fully covered in oozing mud from calf to neck. I turn around, meaninglessly dust myself off and think "At least I don't have to go to the fucking gym now." and head home