I wanted to talk about my struggles with Bi-polar, High Functioning Autism, and PTSD.  I haven't seen a section yet for talking about these sort of things so I'm going to put this in Health.  I'm still very new here and don't know what I'm doing without knowing anyone.

A person on Reddit actually suggested Steemit and was "a whale" and wanted to help me but I can't remember who it was who gave me the link, unless I can find out if I used their referral or invitation link.  I thought it was just an invitation and didn't realize how all this worked.  It's ok though, I don't expect more help than anyone else just starting out and I want to earn friends by figuring out how to make helpful content.  I really do need a purpose in life.

I know this is a lot of complaining, but I jut have to get it out and I'm hoping I meet other people who can relate.  I really have no friends or family and I'm stuck in a bed 23 hours a day with nothing to do but be on this laptop.  

It's been over 20 years taking 22 different prescriptions.  I've really felt like a lab rat for the pharm industries profit.  Every single prescription has failed and many have caused new problems and I'm just now learning about natural medicine.  I've realized there's a drive to make synthetic pills they can patent to make a lot of money.  I understand investors aren't going to throw a billion dollars in something like a plant that you can't patent or even make your money back.  But it seems cruel to prescribe people bad medicine and never even study natural medicine, making a synthetic version of everything.

I realized cannabis oil worked better than anything I've ever tried when a US Marine heard about me and got me a small bottle just to give me hope the answer was out there.  He knew how well it worked for PTSD for soldiers he was friends with.

It's just such a mess with the bi-polar and autism.  My mood goes from panic attacks to severe depression and wanting to die (well, I don't want to die, I just can't figure out how to make this life bearable and I've tried absolutely everything).  And with the autism I get panic attacks from over-stimulation from lights and sounds so I haven't been able to go in public for a long time and have to have even groceries brought to me.  I just can't make it on these 5 prescriptions I'm stuck on.  I've waited for cannabis for years and no one is listening.  I don't care about getting high, I just want this mental and physical pain to stop.

I hate being a person whining like this.  It's just terrifying when I think that there's no way I'm going to make it another year  like this.  It's not right after 20 years of bad meds the one that finally works for me I can't get or I risk being locked in a cage and losing my disability and health insurance.  I read that 22 veterans die a day from suicide from PTSD and I can confirm it gets that bad.  I'm terrified of going to sleep, I keep having the same nightmares.  

I really don't know what to do, but I can't wait another 2 years for cannabis oil.  I don't understand why this isn't medically available.  People are suffering and dying who shouldn't be.

Being abused by a very bad man made everything so much worse resulting in PTSD.  I know now I was an easy target with the mild autism.

I'm not going to die anytime soon but this is very bad and I've been to a dozen doctors and counselors over the years.  It's just so many different problems mixed with bad medications I'm now stuck on.  Cannabis oil takes away 95% of all this.  It's such a miracle.  I spend hours every day shouting at the top of my lungs PLEASE FIGHT FOR CANNABIS, IT'S A MIRACLE AND IT'S NOT ABOUT GETTING HIGH FOR US!!  Why isn't this topic even discussed in politics?  People tell me it's just not that important of an issue and to vote in 2 -4 years for it.  But thousands of us need cannabis today.  

I'm tired of complaining and annoying people.  I'm tired of not having a purpose in life and no friends or family.  I wish people who got high off cannabis would protest one day out of the year for the medical users who are suffering.  I really don't understand why people aren't rioting in the streets over this.  It's also a miracle for kids with autism and epilepsy.  No one has a clue how bad autism is in your brain, and that cannabis oil stops it.  I literally felt like nothing was wrong with me for those 4 weeks I had that bottle.  Plus so many people used the medical systems in other states who really just wanted recreational so people assume I just want to get high.

I'm not asking for pity, I just need to write this down for one post, and maybe some of you guys have similar issues.  I do hope to make some friends here.  I don't feel comfortable using Facebook.

Thanks for anyone who read all that.  It means a lot for anyone to care.  Maybe one day I can find a decent camera and try taking some pictures.  I need to start being productive in some way to get a sense of purpose and meaning in all this.  I'm really scared I'm not going to make it another few years.

I wish our medicine looked more like this: