Reflecting in the mirror

It has been a long time since the three of us in my family have been in a picture together as we don't really have anyone to take photos. I have to say, my wife is hot but, I should wear a shirt to the beach. I actually don't care too much about looks however, I don't feel great at the moment and I really need to start doing something before I am a lost cause. I blame Steem, of course.

The last few years haven't been the easiest but, the last year and a half I have been on Steem have likely been some of the hardest times in my life so far, for many reasons. As a result, I moved focus heavily away from myself and onto doing what was required for my family which has meant that I look and feel quite terrible. It isn't great for the mind.

I am able to combat my mind as I know why it has been this way but, I have to be careful that I don't fall into the trap of staying in this frame, both mentally and physically. It is very easy to justify not looking after oneself with excuses of being there for others but if it continues, it soon loses its strength as looking after oneself for the long-term means to be able to help others in the long-term. I will be useless to my wife and daughter if I am not in a condition to be able to take care of them. In fact, it would be worse than useless as I would likely be a burden.

One of my greatest fears in life is having to rely on people which is why I am hoping I will not get to the point that I will be forced into this position in old age. I think I would rather just 'wake up dead' one day after living a good life with relative ability. I hope that is quite some time off though which is why, I have to do something now.

My daughter starts daycare in a few weeks and my hope is that there is a little time and I can rope my wife into starting back up at the gym with me. I have been on break for over a year now. I have been going alone for most of my life but I think it would be much more beneficial to have someone with me and, that someone be someone who cares whether I am around or not in the future (hopefully). My wife is naturally petite but she would benefit a lot from a little strength training and some core development since she has been unable to do much for the last few years.

I see a relationship as a position where two people are willing to do their best for each other and, help the other be their best also. The effort and areas required will of course shift over time but the underlying philosophy holds. At the moment, I need to start taking care of myself and, it would be a massive help if my wife would be a part of the journey, at least the beginning steps to get back into rhythm.

The goal isn't to have rock hard abs or run a marathon, it is to be able to support my daughter in all the ways she needs support and in my opinion, a healthy mind is very difficult if one doesn't have a healthy body. At the very least, an unhealthy body doesn't promote the highest performance from the mind. There are of course the other self-esteem issues and other psychological problems associated with not feeling comfortable in ones own body.

This isn't a judgement on others, it is just how I feel and in my current condition, I don't feel good. I have spent much too much time in my life ill over the last 25 years and it is crazy that even now, I struggle to do some simple things (like eat better) to improve my health or at least, protect it a little. It is interesting I think how many people (myself included) don't take care of their health even though they know how and what they should do. In my opinion though, you don't really know until you are able to do it. The proof is in the pudding so to speak.

I don't actually blame Steem for my condition as I have plenty of time to put 20 minutes in a few times a week and eat a little better. All I need to do is start doing it consistently and this is where I hope my wife will push me but, I need more than words, I need her to do it with me.

My alterior motive is of course that we get to spend some time together while we are improving rather than consuming. Too many couples only spend time while eating, watching TV or some other passive activity. I think there is a different connection when both people help each other be better. This works in favor of the individual and the couple together.

I think that after my brother leaves, we will have a chat about improving our diet and, getting stronger together. It may not be much but, perhaps it will also be a lesson for my daughter in the positive rather than a warning of the dangers.

Just like many things in life; I know what to do, I just need to do it.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]