When we think of listening, the first thing that comes to mind is other people. What about listening to ourselves? What does this mean? I do not think we can listen to others until we learn to listen to ourselves. This is an intentional skill that we need to build with daily practice. The rational left brained, solution focused thought process helps us to accomplish. We have responsibilities in life, tests to take, bills to pay, errands to run. This part of our brain serves us well. Most of us struggle with the other part of the brain that says listen, and we are suffering due to this deficit.
The loneliness epidemic kills people more than smoking cigarettes or obesity according to a study Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality: A Meta-Analytic Review. You might as well smoke 15 cigarettes a day if you don’t address the loneliness. It has the same effect: death. Most of us would cringe at the thought of picking up this habit, and 15 cigarettes is a lot to smoke, however we do not think so seriously about our loneliness. Everyone feels it, and some stay in a constant state of feeling alone without realizing the harmful mental and physical effects.
I went to a professional counseling conference in 2019 hearing psychologists and neuroscientists proclaim the high levels of anxiety and depression in society would decrease significantly if only people would listen to one another. Most of us don’t need a professional to treat our sadness or fear, we can resolve our need for therapy with a friend who listens. This does not discount mental illness that is organic in nature needing professional and medical support and treatment. This is very real, however situational stressors leading to depression & anxiety cause much of what we see in the mental health world today. We need to build skills to cope with stress and develop our stress response skills. We also need to listen to one another.
How do we first learn to listen to ourself? When the day is over and you are laying still in bed, what are your thoughts about? Are you able to relax and find calm? Can you think on what went well that day, turning off the turmoil in your mind? Intuitive listening to our inmost being connects us with our emotions and sometimes the feelings are intense and frightening to us. Connection of our soul and body brings awareness of pain, sorrow, fear, and the reality of our human condition. Emotions just are, they happen, and don’t define us. It’s important to listen to what is happening inside. The more we can tolerate this process and unite our being, we will heal and find harmony in our bodies. This is the therapeutic, cathartic process we all need. Once we find connection, we will begin to listen to our intuition and find peace before we proceed in every situation. This intuition will help us to speak and contradict that inner critic. We need this connection to empower us with witty responses.
The inner critic can has a voice. My voice is louder. Today I tell that critic the past is gone, the future is not a guarantee. All I have is today to do and be who I am. People may or may not appreciate me...this is not in my control. I focus on what I can do, see, say, write, be just to find a place where I belong. It may not be everywhere...and it is not...this is ok. All ants don't stick together...they congregate in groups. Are you my ants, can we stick, or will we move forward? All is good, all is well.