Dear soulful dreamer!
I think we are mixing things here.
I don't think so since such things psychologically tend to glue together.
No, there is no trauma... Only some surprising attitudes.
This, we cannot be sure. Never.
I think it's unfair to label these attitudes in the bracket of trauma
It was not my intention to do this - but to ask the question if it might be possible.
(I think there is a bit of barrier because of language).
This is always a big issue - even if you talk the same mother tongue as your dialogue partner!
We were talking about how some people behave in a way that surprises one, but, not in a good way ;)))
And again I am declined to point out that you missed the goal of my arguing. But never mind!
My concern is not a psychological one but a philosophical approach (without ignoring the psycho-dynamics). Thus I tried to confronting you with the two main questions of thinking and communicating: What is a human being? And who am I? Breaking down these top most questions you can (without any warranty) find a way to coming closer to answers on human behaviour and on being surprised by that including your own part of such surprises.
To put it as short as I can at the moment: when - do you think - and by which behaviour did you last time surprise another woman or man? And as we've been talking about surprises of a non-good way, I ask you to think on such more or less bad surprises you gave to others!
To be honest - me for myself, I can not answer this question precisely since I am not trained to check the occurences of my behaviour being bad surprises for others. And that is the main reason for me to think about this issue as a more self-related one than an 'objective' one in the meaning of being outside of my person.
Thus I came to the conclusion that I am not authorised to judge on other's behaviour as being bad even if it is a bad surprise to me. Being badly surprised is my own concern and not in responsibility of my counterpart.
In addition to this I am quite doubtful in view of the 'healing journey' you want to initiate. Bambuka seems to be clear on that through his psychological knowledge and experience. What are your pre-assumptions? What are your expectations?
The role of talking about traumata is a very big and important one, but how to speak on issues that we are not familiar with - neither psychological nor philosophical? Is it enough to be traumatized oneself? No.
Last not least for this time I beg your pardon for my writing at length to you. Nevertheless it is not long enough, it is even to short to be really suitable. One would have to dive quite deeply into this matter: reading books, listening to workshops, reflecting oneself.
PS
And many thanks for a discussion like this! ;-))
I will get back to you regarding other points. But I want to explain this one right away.
My role? An anchor!
Yes, that's the word. I've never claimed to be someone who can evaluate, assess, or give advice. No, it's not like that. One thing simply led to another, and it's been a year that Bambuka and I have been having conversations—sometimes quite extensive ones. This naturally led me to think about initiating this project. I'm not sure if you've read my previous post in detail or not.
I agree it's still a work in progress, and right now, I’m just an anchor, a presenter, and an idea generator—though in a somewhat crude form. But I believe Bambuka has developed it into something substantial.
So, what will I be doing in this space? I’ll be putting up my own queries, generating more questions, interacting with readers, and sharing my opinions. However, I won't be advocating, advising, or acting as a therapist or psychological rehabilitation specialist.
I hope this answers your question.
P.S: Thank you for your elaborated comments. I will be definitely thinking about these and there will be a lot of self-reflection :))) Thanks again
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