Building Self Confidence for Life
First of all, we will have a look at self-efficacy, which is the science behind confidence. It will be a quick, albeit a very high-grade look at what self-efficacy is all about. In truth, there is plenty we can learn about self-efficacy, which has everything to do with the belief that your goals are achievable.
Albert Bandura, a renowned psychologist from Stanford, has helped us understand what self-efficacy is all about and says it can be built in four main ways:
- Mastery experiences
- Vicarious learning
- Social persuasion
- Physiology
Self Efficacy & Mastery Experiences
To have a truly profound sense of self-efficacy, you should believe in your ability to achieve great things after mastering them through past successful experiences. Here’s the thing – it is possible to have faith in yourself on an elevated level with regard to certain things, including your craft and other skills you have. The idea is to be a master in each of these things.
It’s easy to slip into the past from time to time because what we experience stays with us. But that can seriously undermine your faith in yourself, as going back to the way you did things before will keep you from moving ahead. You have to keep pushing forward in order to reach higher potentials, and that is what “doing what’s best for you” entails. Not consistently looking back and getting stuck in the past.
We are not saying you have to be perfect to achieve self-mastery. Just get 4% better (heck get 1% better) and you will be fine. And don’t beat yourself up when you don’t achieve this, get up quickly and go for it again. This is what it takes to build self-mastery that creates your sense of trust in you.
Now we can give some thought to mastery experiences. To create confidence in your field – it could be a sport, or art and so forth – mastery experiences are critical. But how can you improve your mastery of a certain craft?
Stephen King shared some tips on how he has become a master at writing. It’s simple, he reads a lot, and he also writes a lot.
You can use the same idea to see how you can become a master of your craft. If you are a teacher, you have to teach a lot, but you also have to read a lot and write a lot since a teacher requires these skills as well. This is what mastery experiences are all about, and they are a big part of what self-efficacy is all about.
Self Efficacy & Vicarious Learning
The other aspect of self-efficacy is vicarious learning, which refers to the act of learning through someone else. In other words, if you see someone take the path you would like to take and they end up successful, it improves your sense of self-efficacy. After all, if they can do it, then so can you.
But it’s important to draw the line on how far vicarious learning needs to go. If you see someone fail at something you would like to try, and think that the same outcome awaits you, then your confidence will take a hit.
Doubt can set in under such scenarios. And it’s not just negative results from seeing someone else achieve what you would like to achieve that can affect your self-confidence, but positive outcomes as well.
So, if you find yourself feeling jealous, then you are not very confident in your ability to achieve what that person attained, if not more.
What does this mean? You have to forget about envy and see other people’s positive achievements as clear proofs that you will also achieve great things when you try the same things.
So, assume a spirit of celebration when it comes to other people’s success, and don’t be envious. Vicarious learning helps when it motivates you, not when it makes you jealous or discourages you from trying.
Self Efficacy & Social Persuasion
Imagine a coach telling you, “You can do it! Go for it!” “You have been preparing for this.” That’s social persuasion. Such words can create a strong sense of self-efficacy in you. So, even as a parent or a guardian, understand that such words can go a long way in helping the person looking up to you believe in their abilities.
But you don’t always need the motivation of others to succeed. You can persuade yourself, after all, you are in your head quite often and you can tell yourself whatever you want. Remember that what you convince yourself to believe often comes to be. So, if you persuade yourself that you can do it, then you can.
The converse is true.
So, don’t let any seeds of doubt germinate in your mind, get rid of them as soon as you notice them. Just because those thoughts pop up does not mean you automatically accept them, choose the positive thoughts that serve you. Let yourself be persuaded that it’s possible, and it will be.
Self Efficacy & Physiology
Physiology is the forth aspect of self-efficacy. I am betting you have already noticed this – your confidence takes a boost when you have eaten well and slept properly.
When you get inadequate sleep, you will not feel as motivated and assured of your success when you go out to tackle the issues of the day. So, get enough sleep.
Another thing – learn to breathe. All the world-class athletes you see, the famous coaches, and exceptional Olympians you see around know that breathing has a huge impact on their confidence levels, and ultimately, their chances of success.
So, when thoughts that cultivate self-doubt start to creep into your head, learn to breathe into them, accept the anxiety that come with them. Focus on that and recite mantras such as “I am so excited.” This helps more than trying to calm yourself down, and your sense of self-efficacy will get a boost as well.
We know for a fact that empowering affirmations and even assuming powerful poses for just two minutes will enhance your testosterone levels and cause a decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, and this will give you a strong sense of power.
On the contrary, just sitting around will create room for fear in your mind, and your cortisol levels will rise as your testosterone levels will go down. The outcome will be a feeling of powerlessness and doubt, not a can-do spirit that rises out of self-confidence.
Our Self Efficacy Recap
Just to recap, we need to take part in mastery experiences so we can be our best at our craft or a certain set of skills.
We need to accept vicarious learning and make sure we feel inspired rather than discouraged or envious when it comes to others successes.
Also, have in place social persuasion, whether that comes from positive and supporting people in your life or through the services of a coach.
Make sure healthy eating, sleeping, breathing and moving are a part of your daily routine. These things sound like a lot of work but they can be accomplished with only a few more minutes of time investment than you are making right now.
As you do all this to improve your self-efficacy, don’t forget about stepping into the fears that can cause your self doubts.
If there is anyway I can serve you and help you with any of these actions, and build life long self confidence let’s have a conversation.
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