It's Christmas party at the clinic today but I will not be attending it

in hive-109690 •  3 days ago 

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I am quite sad because I will not be able to mingle with my co-patients with the best day of our year as patients from our dialysis clinic with our Christmas party which I actually attended twice with two of my parents and then with only me and my father on the second instance last year. Well one of my reason for not attending is that I cannot sit for long during the event as my backbone would be killing me after an hour of sitting on a wheelchair. It is torturous to have my crooked back to stay upright and it feels like a giant clothespin is biting it while waiting for the party to end.

So it doesn't feel like a party for me but rather a sacrificial pain offering so that we can bring home some give-aways like a small sack of rice, grocery items, free EPO, free dialysis session, and a sure bet to win a raffle item which are just basically distributed to patients because nobody can win more than once in the raffles unlike in my former dialysis clinic where I won two items. I also cannot enjoy the parlor games as well and feeling bad that I cannot join because of my mobility issues and also the games are not that fun to do anyway.

My father also front-run me when it is time to eat there telling me, "You said have a difficulty in eating" after bringing on our table his own food and leaving me without anything and then asking me if I want to eat if you can believe it. Shaking my damn head, I already lost my appetite because of it considering that before hand I told him to give me some particular food but he didn't do it but instead brought his own food to eat. You will ask why did he did it, well its my father, he has this weird character and norm which is unique to him and I just have to accept him nonetheless.

That is why if only my father will be with me attending the party, I will not attend anymore but the big reason is that my backbone cannot tolerate sitting for longer than one hour because it will just torture me. Some of my co-patients will be looking for me for sure in attending the party and its sucks because my Mother will not be going there too and that reason alone makes me to lose interest for attending.

But I still am thinking those free stuffs that I will going to miss-out in receiving because you know, free items as always good to receive but the factor such as I had said had a direct cause on why I simply cannot go there anymore especially some friends of my Mother is anticipating that I will attend. I just hope that my co-patients will have a good time today and that the hospital will feed them lots of foods especially the roast pork because of the government insurance benefits that the hospital which is the owner of the dialysis clinic earns per dialysis patient is very big and is a win-win for both the patient and the hospital and so because of that, the sponsor of the party which is the hospital may very well have more budget for the dialysis Christmas party this day of December 15th, 2024.


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It makes me sad that you can't go but I find it hard to believe you are the only person who can't.
Since the clinic knows all patients they for sure have enough for everyone so they can give it the next time you have to be there.

Your father is indeed weird. He knows youcannot eat everything so why isn't a habit after all those years to bring something you are allowed to eat? The hospital doesn't give a meal?

Is your mom okay that she doesn't want to go to the christmas party? Or does she rather stay home?

I wonder the hospital couldn't have provided in a bed or special seat so you don't have to sit in the wheelchair.

Will you celebrate at home?

♥️🍀

Hi Miss @wakeupkitty @wakeupkitty.pal

I appreciate empathy for me, I actually missed a lot of important events in my family like I was not able to attend my favorite niece's 18th coming of age birthday celebration nor my other niece's and nephew's special events and moments. My plan is to be more close to them because I do not have children but because I am always pinned here at home because of my pain issues, I am really feeling bad that things like that didn't came to my expectations.

My former classmates from high school (middle school) particularly from our section of our batch (graduates of1994) too wants us to always meet together especially during the end of the month like in these Christmas parties and class reunions and guess what, I can't go for almost the same reason and this issue with being shy about my physical appearance which I know for sure will just make them feel sorry about my condition and so because of that I do not want them to feel uncomfortable because it is a fact that my physical condition is one of the lowest of the low a person can ever experience.

Leontiasis Ossea is a very rare bone disease and yet I was unfortunate enough out of Billions of people to ever get it, My only consolation is that at least I will not have any financial problem and both these two factors in my life are beyond nightmare and a pleasant dream come true respectively.

Now I really couldn't care less about my appearance but the intermingled pain issue is what I am really struggling with and that is why I missed so much fun and special physical activities and events from my friends and lovedones and its beyond frustration which I perpetually trying to cope with until now.

Anyway, there is a lot of food being served in the clinic's Christmas party because it is hospital-sponsored and there is always a whole roasted pig being served, sometimes I hear that the roast pork was not consumed but the last time I attended, it was all eaten-up by all attendees considering that some patients also bring more than one family member.

The "Lechon" (Whole roast pork) is the only thing that I wanted to eat and I told my father to get me some when take the queue for getting some food but he returned with only one plate which is for his own consumption. I was only one there that didn't eat and so I told myself to never attended it anymore, besides all the while my back is already torturing me with pain an hour after getting there.

I also feel out of place because I have to wear a surgical mask all the time because of my face otherwise Kids will stare at me and some people too not to mention making them feel uneasy with me sitting somewhere over there. Considering that I am inherently shy person, this additional big appearance issue had magnified my shyness multitudes of times if you can imagine and made me more agoraphobic than ever before.

I feel empty when I do not have my mother around even in this house so if my mother will not attend again, I might as well do the same especially with my experience with my father lol.

Mother has some pain issues with her shoulder and that is her reason to forgo with the Christmas party. Also, the hospital couldn't care less about my pain issues, most of the nurses if not all of them just look at me a very long time patient that cannot walk and nothing more so giving me a more comfortable place to sit is not an option.

Thank you Miss @wakeupkitty 🌹🌹🌹

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Sorry to hear you couldn't attend.

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