I recently learnt about coolant, life deferred syndrome . And about the most effective method of getting rid of it: do what I want right now.

However, many people have this common question - "What do I want?" -Will be bewildered. I write about this often, but let's do it again.

So, many cannot understand what seems to be the simplest thing: their desires. Instead of an answer - emptiness inside. Nothing responds. Sleep. What to do?

"Emptiness, vacuum ... That's when there is nothing to eat, or a threat to life, these are real problems!"

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Stop and listen to yourself from time to time

Each time has its own neuroses and its own psychotherapy. A lack of understanding of one's desires, a feeling of emptiness and a sense of loss of meaning is one of the main problems of a modern person.

on the one hand, a person has broken away from natural naturalness, from the animal world, and now instincts do not always help to determine what he needs ( this is why the calls to “ listen to the body”, “turn off the head”, “think less - feel more and feel");

on the other hand, conventions and traditions are not so strong now, and they do not always dictate what to do, so you have to learn to direct life yourself. The schemes proposed from the outside - by the community, religion, and so on - stopped working.

But to understand your meanings, hear desires and make an author's happy project out of your life, you need to learn from childhood. And with this, few were lucky.

Often in childhood there were:

• manipulations ( "if you are like this, if you go there, we will love and support you")

• rejection ( "also invented for me!")

• violence ( "as I said - so you will do!" "Eggs do not teach a chicken!")

• indifference to impulses and aspirations.

Or at a more mature age, a person for a good reason ( for example, because of responsibility and obligations) abandoned his own life and began to live someone else's - someone else's needs and desires. And then he forgot about how it is - to live with your own.

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What is the bottom line?

Life is like a must-have program with no pleasure, no taste, no fire and no involvement. Or even worse - a life in which actions and "life projects" have lost their meaning.

Of course, to feel alive, you have to change something.

And this will take time, because the training on ignoring desires lasted for years for someone, for decades for someone.

The good news is that the brain is plastic, and in a relatively short time ( some will need several weeks, some will need several months) it will be able to change.

But how?

Write in a row everything that you would do if you had unlimited financial opportunities. Emphasize material and non-material desires with different colors. Now discard those that are expensive and decipher the desires that express your needs.

Well, for example: "I want to go around the world." What does this mean? Want new experiences? Freedom? Get rid of the routine? Escape?

Explore your library or film library

Well, or remember what you watched and read. According to Lejoayo, this technique will tell about us and our aspirations and desires more eloquently than best friends.

What topics / genres, books / films do you like the most?

Why? What do they bring you? What needs are being satisfied? How do you use ( or not) this interest?

Technique " for example"

The goal is to move from an indefinite, vague desire to concrete. Enter into a dialogue with yourself:

• I would like my life to be more interesting.

• In what area, for example?

• At work.

• What do you see as more interesting work, for example?

• This is a job in which I would be more creative, more independent ...

• What, for example? - etc.

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Well, and another, simple and fairly well-known technique of recognizing your desires, which many experts talk about: stop from time to time and listen to yourself.

• What do I feel in the body?

• What emotions do I feel?

• What needs do I have?

It's important to do it regularly, otherwise it won't work. This will help you learn to “ connect with yourself” - you will be able to recognize the signals that speak of your condition and needs.

It is important that these practices have side effects. Having learned about your desires, you then have to fulfill them. Accordingly, the usual life will have to be changed. And the next question arises. Ready?

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