Well, hello there! Today I want to write a bit about some games which are not good by any stretch of the English vocabulary, but they are not bad either and my fascination with playing them. All of these thoughts were sparked anew in my brain by my recent purchase of Vin Diesel Wheelman, but don't let me get ahead of myself.
Firstly, I need to mention the fact that these games are competent and may even do some things really well, but otherwise they are unremarkable. Without further ado, let's begin.
- Vin Diesel Wheelman
This game was made by Midway Studios - Newcastle in collaboration with Tigon Studios (aka the Vin Diesel game studios) on Unreal Engine 3. It is an open world driving game, featuring "vehicle melee", cop and criminal chases and a handful of on foot shootouts, all throughout a digital version of Barcelona. It feels like an unholy bastard child of GTA, Burnout and a game mechanic called air hijacking which entails jumping from a car you drive into another car directly (a mechanic which I've only seen in one other game, namely Sleeping Dogs). The driving physics are a bit wonky, there is no money system in the game and the story is pretty laughable, and somehow it works in the game's favor, at least for me. It is just plain stupid and tries to make Vin Diesel this awesome undercover cop fighting three gangs while searching for a mcguffin, which makes the game endearingly unaware of itself.
2)50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Going from one celebrity wanting to look badass to another, this time we go to 50 Cent's big adventure through the Middle East. TStory goes along the line of 50 Cent came on tour in a war torn Middle Eastern country, singing with a bulletproof vest on and as payment he would get a skull encrusted with gems. The skull is stolen and our hunk must retrieve it by killing everything between him and the skull. As in the example above, the story is dogshit. This game was made by Swordfish Studios (haven't really heard of them), also on Unreal Engine 3 and it is a pretty standard third person shooter with an added score mechanic. Comboing enemies, taunting them and fulfilling certain challenges rewards you with score, which can be used to buy weapons and taunts. The game also had an online coop component, but the servers are long gone by now.
3)Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
One of Pandemic Studios last games. Simply put, this game is a poor man's Just Cause. It is an over the top janky open world game in which almost every building is destructible and you have heavy ordinance at your disposal, as long as you have the resources to maintain it. The story of the game, again, is not the focus, but the sheer wanton destruction is, with a layer of really poor writing to link it all together and a representation of a Venezuela caught in a civil war. I don't really have much to say about this one, besides the fact that it is a pretty good stress relief game.
All in all, the thing these games have in common are lacking stories and the fact that you can laugh at them, but still enjoy going through their campaigns which feel more like fever dreams.
Images: cover, wheelman, 50cent, mercenaries
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