Showing Faith

My wife and I were talking about the future today; We often talk about it, plan for it and work hard to provide for it, however these days with us operating on around a third of our household income the future seems a little indistinct, like many others also. It was a heavy discussion.

It took a turn though, and we ended up talking about the past, our past, together and all the great things we have experienced. It was a really great chat as it felt positive; It sort of highlighted that we have already faced, and overcome, much adversity. We were left with a nice feeling of hope and positivity.

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I met my wife Faith in September 1987 only a couple of weeks prior to her turning sixteen years old. I was seventeen and a half. She had left school and was training/working in the hair and beauty industry and I was working as a salesperson selling diamonds.

A mutual friend who went to trade-school with Faith had asked me if I wanted to go to the State Fair (called the Royal Adelaide Show here) and I'd initially said no...Until she told me about ten or twelve of the girls from her hair and beauty class were going. Count me in I said, quite quickly indeed.

We were introduced and I was struck by her beauty...Lovely white skin, blonde hair and her height, (she's 6 foot tall). She had a lovely pirate- smile too. I was rather smitten.

What would a girl like this see in me, I thought to myself in my typical shy and unconfident manner but we proceeded to the fair and had a great time as a group. Throughout the day and into the evening I got the impression that Faith had some interest and I encouraged that as best I could; We ended up parting ways that evening, me with a heart no longer mine, and her...Well, at that stage I wasn't sure.

I received a phone call the next day (a Sunday) from our mutual friend asking if I wanted to come over and play tennis, also advising that Faith was going to be there. Sounded like a set up to me and I was on it like a fat kid on cake!

Faith and I hit it off and within two weeks were seeing each other regularly as boyfriend and girlfriend which sort of happened at a party her mum gave her for her sixteenth birthday. It was October 1987.

By January 1988 we were living together and had almost nothing to our names. We had our jobs though, and each other, and that's when we started planning for our future whilst enjoying the present a little too. It was difficult financially but we didn't need much, just each other. We had a lot of fun.

We were married six years later, on her twenty second birthday in October 1993, and have been together ever since. Thirty three years after meeting our lives are still intertwined and whilst we have had to face much adversity we have been blessed with what we see as an extraordinary life together.

Thirty three years

When she walked into my life I felt like never before and looking back I still feel like the most fortunate man in the world. I'm no poet so don't really have the words, but I think Tim McGraw says it well in one of his songs...

You're more than a lover, there could never be another to make me feel the way you do. Oh we just get closer, I fall in love all over every time I look at you. I don't know where I'd be without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend.

Just words, but words that after thirty three years define how I feel about my wife I guess. She's my best friend, and everything else to me really.

I don't look at our time together and feel it's been difficult; Sure, we've had difficult times, but that's just life and, like everyone, something we have to go through.

I also don't regret very much at all.

There's been lost opportunities of course and I've done things I regret over the years but I don't regret the time I've spent with my wife, the decisions we've made and that I've grown old(er) with her, and will grow yet older. I see it as a great privilege to be a part of this relationship and value it, and my wife greatly. _{This image above shows us on the day of our 32nd wedding anniversary and Faith's birthday.}

I don't know what other people's relationships are like but ours is strong; We stand side by side facing adversity, or will stand in front of the the other to protect them when required...She's got my back and I hers. There's been nothing we couldn't face and overcome in those years and whilst we've been close to the precipice at times we have always come through because we are together, and well...Because we are us.

We're facing somewhat of a crisis like many around the world at the moment. Our incomes have been severely reduced, our expenses still roll in and our futures are clouded in uncertainty. It's been a difficult time and will get worse before it gets better.

We have had many difficult conversations but yesterday's wasn't one of them. It was one of uplifting inspiration, a vibrant and colourful homage to thirty three years of our lives together and we came away feeling...Well, we came away feeling together, happy and optimistic about our future.

We are all different people, humans I mean, and we value different things...Some would see my thirty three years with Faith as boring preferring flexibility, the company of many different partners; Some would say our ethos of planning for a future that may never come is limiting...Yet others would possibly say we got together too early and missed out on experiences in our younger lives...That's all good, for them. Whatever.

Faith and I haven't missed out on anything though. We experienced the same things, we just did it together as a unit. We've worked hard and planned for our future and have been together long enough to see those plans pay dividends, plans come to fruition, and to enjoy them. It's been rewarding and fulfilling rather than limiting or boring.

We live in uncertain times; There's been around 60,000 deaths from the virus so far, that we know about. I hope each and every one of those people made the most of the life they were allotted but more importantly got the chance to tell those they love how they felt about them before they expired. Maybe that's not important to some; For many though I think a lot of regret revolves around lost opportunities and death certainly removes a persons ability to seize the moment and make the most of it.

Thirty three years after meeting Faith we still say I love you, with conviction, a few times a day; Certainly at night before we sleep and when we part for work in the morning (which doesn't happen now as we work from home) but at other times also. I'm still that same shy lad she met in 1987 but nothing means more to me than showing Faith how I feel, and her in return with me. How could a bond that strong ever be labelled as boring or limiting?

Anyway, please forgive my ramblings, this all means nothing to you as you're not in my relationship; You have your own to work on, to nurture and value. It'll be different because it's not ours however the same principles may apply I suppose.

I hope you're all well, enjoying your weekend, and above all else, the life you have been gifted with, and those in it.

I wish for all of you that you have the ability, and time, to show and say how you feel to those important people around you. And speaking of time...There's no time than the present.

Thank you for skimming this post.

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Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.

Be well