How I can help? by Karupanocitizen

The conference room of the largest public hospital in the United States is packed with brilliant doctors, dedicated nurses, and attentive workers, the expectation is enormous, a young and unknown director is about to establish a milestone in the history of the institution, changes structural, but above all a change in attitude towards the medical service, all this framed in a phrase that he will repeat like a mantra: How can I help?

The phrase that became famous thanks to Dr. Max Goodwin, the main character of the television series New Amsterdam, which I recommend, by the way, seems like a simple question, somewhat inconsequential and even banal, but if we deepen and philosophize in everything that contains we will see life teachings that I would like to share with you.

To help or not to help?, that is the dilemma

How can you even have doubts about it? I know many will tell me. The obvious answer is yes, whenever you can you should offer your help. However, I ask you: are you helping? Every time an opportunity is offered, do your first question what motivates you to help?

Maybe you think that doing something nice for someone, like giving them a gift, advice, taking care of their tasks, even voting on their posts, is a very good way to help and you may be right, however… what is your intention? Do you want a favor in return? Do you want to earn their trust? Do you hope with your gesture to compromise who you help with any of your causes? you do!

When we "really" help someone we do not have any reason to do so, helping implies the total absence of any particular interest or benefit that we can obtain from that action, when we do we put ourselves completely at the command of who we want to support, we do not know It is about us, we are not the protagonists of the story, it is about who we have in front of us.

How I can?

Note that this question implies the intentionality of the person who makes it, he is interested in knowing the opinion of the other person, he is not imposing his criteria regarding what he considers should be his way of helping, but from a position of humility and respect is offered to collaborate in what the interlocutor considers can do it.

Humility, in my opinion, is one of the things that determines whether we are helping or not. As I said before, it is not about us, nor what we think should be done, it is about our real and sincere commitment to the other person, of being modest enough to listen to what is required of us and do it in the same measure as requested.

I have seen many people, especially teachers or influential people who in their desire to "help" when trying to answer a question asked by a student, disciple, or follower, do so with such vehemence and pride that, far from clarifying the shared doubts, they end up making those who dared to open up and trust them to feel bad. His lack of humility ends up causing more harm than good, which cannot be considered as help.

Understand to help

If you want to help someone, the first thing you should do is put yourself "in their shoes", be truly empathetic, try to understand what the other person needs, and if you can solve their need, sometimes you can help a lot. just by managing the required help with a third party.

Helping does not necessarily imply assuming the responsibilities of another person, but supporting them so that by their means they can fulfill them, it can be through advice, information, resources, or even simply accompanying them, the simple fact of making them feel that you are there for her, she can generate all the trust and emotional support she needs to fulfill her purposes.

Once again remember, it is about putting yourself in the other person's place, offering your best effort or knowledge selflessly and humbly, of understanding that you are not the protagonist and that therefore I do not know what you are capable of. or not to do, but what is needed to solve the problem that they pose you even if it implies that someone else takes the credit.

Now that we started to philosophize about this issue, I would like to know what you think about it, do you think the same as I do, or do you consider that I am wrong about something? Can you tell us about any situation in which you have been able to help someone? And finally, if you consider this publication useful, I dare to ask you: how can I help?

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