A few days back, I went into an office to get some transactions done, then I overheard two people engaged in a discourse. What drew my attention was how the lady was telling the man how she has been absolutely independent and self-reliant, which is not a bad thing, but she went further to even say that she does not need anyone to succeed, and also went further to drop some very proud statements of self-importance, thinking that she is omnipotent or that the world revolves around her. While she thought that it is confidence, she was simply exhibiting arrogance towards the guy that she talked with. This was when I understood the difference between arrogance and confidence, which a lot of people tend to mistake one for another. We shall take a look at how different they are, and why you need to be confident, not arrogant.
To make it clearer, let us see what confidence is and what it is built on. Confidence is basically built on the principle of self-awareness and a clear understanding of your strength, but not just your strength, even your weaknesses. That is knowing that you have not known it all, then being able to learn more, grow more, and improve more. People who are confident do not compete with people for relevance, nor feel threatened by the successes of others, rather they focus on their own ability and the power that lies within them. When you see a confident person speak, they do not drag attention, rather they command attention by the way they behave.
You do not have to prove that you have confidence by rubbing your a sense of superiority over someone else's face. In fact, if you feel the need to prove your confidence, then you may have already started losing it. Confident people have ways of encouraging people around them, making them feel belonged. When you have something valuable to add, you will be sought after, not you trying to impose your will on someone else.
Arrogance, on the other hand, is simply an over-inflated feeling of self-importance, often leading to the disregard of other people. The manifestation of arrogance is when you feel that you are more important than everyone else, or your are more superior or better than everyone, whereas in the real sense, you may not even be up to par. Arrogance, more often than not, has its root in insecurity, the need to be recognized, and inability to see your errors or inadequacies. Trust me, you are not without mistakes, neither are you infallible nor perfect, so do not think too highly of yourself. Each time you begin to feel the need to exaggerate your accomplishments just to prove that you are superior, then you may be opening yourself towards arrogance.
Confidence and arrogance have very thin line separating them and the person who is arrogant may not even recognise it. But when you see these few manifestations, and you are truthful with yourself, then you will know if you are arrogant or confident: when you feel offended or irritated when corrected, or trying to justify or give excuses for it, instead of picking lessons from it, then you are tilting towards arrogance. When you always seek for validation and recognition even where it is not, then it can also be a pointer. Also, when you see yourself as being perfect - having strengths without weaknesses, then it could also point you to that. Your intent and attitude are what distinguish between confidence and arrogance.
Now that we have understood the difference between confidence and arrogance, now let us look at how to move from arrogance to confidence. The first point is to listen more and speak less. When you feel the need to speak, might actually be when you need to listen more. Try to show interest in what people have to say and also value their opinions. The next point is to practise humility and be humane. You have to know that no one, including you, knows everything, and that learning is ever continuous. In addition to this, you have to be teachable and open to welcome feedbacks and constructive criticisms. The last point is to learn to celebrate people's successes and also be appreciative and grateful of what you receive from people no matter the size.
Thanks for reading
