Hello dear readers, today I want to share with you a topic that has to do with the death of a loved one and having to know how to live with that grief. This situation is something that everyone in life has had to go through in one way or another and can certainly be approached in different ways depending on the subject who suffers it.
Death is part of our lives and can be defined as the absence or loss of a person who has already departed from earthly life and we will not see them anymore. It is there where our pain begins in knowing that physically that loved one will never be seen again and we begin to experience a series of emotions and transitory stages.
In the same vein, grief arises as a result of the loss of that loved one, this is the trigger to awaken in the human being these emotional stages that indicate to the people around us how we are coping with grief. Sometimes we begin to remember the experiences and memories we shared with the deceased person.
Many authors indicate that grief is that transitory stage in which the person begins to discuss the absence of the loved one. However, the psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler Ross, states that the human being must overcome 5 steps, which will be described below:
1. Denial: consists of not accepting the death of the person, it is produced as a consequence of a state of shock that prevents the individual from being aware of reality. In the same way, the case of simply not giving importance to the absence of the deceased may occur, all this as a consequence of the state of shock.
2. Anger: it is produced as a consequence of the same denial and this is due to not being able to accept the death of that loved one, which causes such a strong pain that we tend to doubt even our religious beliefs and reproach God, we doubt his existence and end up losing faith. All this is generated as a consequence of the absolute absence of the dead person and even more if his death occurred unexpectedly. It can also be the case of blaming another person or, failing that, oneself, or looking for a cause in the environment.
3. Negotiation: it consists of maintaining the illusion that things will change, that everything is a terrible nightmare or, if the person is going through a final phase of cancer, it seeks different options in order to change the predestined destiny of the loved one.
4. Depression: it is something you can not escape and even more if the deceased person was very close to you, this is one of the most difficult stages of grief to cope, we are totally discouraged, we do not want to do anything because everything reminds us of the person who left and sometimes we do not even feed ourselves for being immersed in a deep pain and thoughts to end, we also tend to close ourselves and isolate ourselves from our family environment.
5. Acceptance: this is the last phase of grief that the psychiatrist explains, once the stages mentioned above have been passed, the process of accepting the loss of the loved one begins and understanding their departure as a process that all humanity must go through.
Understanding that grief is a process that is lived according to each person and as such should be respected is the first help you can give to the person who is suffering from it. Some individuals tend to live with grief for a long period of time, while others tend to remember the loved one according to their favorite places, objects, dates and important events.
What is really important is to know how to deal with this situation when you are suffering from it. And if this process can be overcome in its entirety. The great unknown lies in whether you forget the death of a loved one or simply enter the stage of acceptance where you learn to live with his or her absence and only remember him or her with love and affection.
And you, dear readers, how have you dealt with the loss of a loved one? I would like to read your comments related to this topic in the corresponding section.
MATERIAL CONSULTED
Soler Nuria.(2012). The loss of a loved one Source:
Bleda Perez Montserrat. Guide for bereaved family members. Source:
Hello Professor Miladis @sidalim88, in my life I have adopted the position of not giving condolences to people who go through this frustrating and heartbreaking stage in people's lives.
I assume it in this way, because it is a "pain that only the sufferer feels" and condolences in my opinion, rather than words of encouragement is like reinforcing even more the reality (pain) that we are living on the loss of a loved one.
Perhaps my posture has been from my own experience, hence the philosophy I have adopted. Very entertaining article that does not allow us to understand the stages we are going through in the face of this tragic moment.
Greetings...
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Greetings @madridbg, it is difficult to give or look for a word of encouragement or to calm the pain left by the loss of a loved one. There are people who only give condolences for complying with something to accompany the affected person, but sometimes they do not feel any pain about it.
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Hello @sidalim88!
What it feels like in those moments of real loss is something that can't be described, I think only the one who has been through it understands. I lost my father 3 months ago and I still can't believe it, there are many mixed feelings and I only trust that God gives us the strength to cope with it since he will always be missed. Greetings!
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Hello @yusvelasquez, in advance I am very sorry for your loss. You are absolutely right that pain is only understood by someone who goes through this same process and these stages can take a while to heal
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Bereavement involves different stages of which one must take into account that in the midst of a loss or shocking transcendental news can turn a person's life upside down,
I really liked your contribution
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Yes, friend @ joseph1956, the loss of a loved one can be approached in different ways, however the ultimate goal is the same to learn to live with the death of the loved one. Greetings
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Hello friend, a very painful subject for many people, obviously we all feel bad when we lose someone, but as you say it is part of life. I think it is not wrong to feel sad but to go to the extreme of falling into the pathological is another thing. We must learn to manage our emotions, for that we need a lot of emotional intelligence.
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Hello @franyeligonzale, the process of mourning is something difficult to overcome and we cannot let our life overflow in that process, we must be brave and overcome that precious loss. Greetings
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Hi @sidalim88
Wow, mourning is one of the most recurrent actions in these months of pandemic by Covid-19, I agree with this you mention "Understanding that grief is a process that is lived according to each person and, as such, should be respected is the first help you can give to the person who suffers", certainly relieve the pain for the loss of a loved one, goes through an act of understanding, however from the emotional is very difficult to relieve the pain, thanks for these tips you share with us.
Best regards, be well.
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Hello, you are absolutely right when you say that grief is a process that we are going through every day in any part of the world and much more in these times of pandemic. Greetings @ lupafilotaxia, that's what we are here for.
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