In his "Hurry", Zhu Ziqing said: "The past days are like light smoke, blown away by the breeze, like mist, evaporated by the early sun. What traces do I leave?" Yes, the past is like smoke. Although the past gradually becomes blurred, eventually dissipated and forgotten, it is always vaguely visible when I recall it. From this perspective, the past is both vague and clear.
1.The past is vague.
When we were at our original working unit, I, my wife and our young daughter, our family of three, were squeezed together in a small house. The house was in disrepair for a long time, the enterprise was on the brink of bankruptcy, and there was no one to manage and repair it. Cold in winter and hot in summer, the house was almost like a steamer in the hot summer. In the harsh winter, even the indoor water pipes were frozen. When it rained heavily, the roof still leaked.
My wife worked overtime in the workshop, working 12-16 hours a day, and in my last year at the original unit, I also worked on four shifts. We almost put in a lot of effort to take care of our young daughter who was often left unattended at home. Our meager salary only supported our livelihood, often failing to make ends meet, which was extremely shabby.
Some of the students assigned to the unit were promoted, assigned to large houses, and some transferred their wives to idle positions. I, dull and unsophisticated, however, did not do well as I muddled along.
These things remain in our memories, but I can only do vague processing, otherwise, it will only be asking for trouble and self harm.
Can I be like the tragic character Sister Xianglin in Mr. Lu Xun's "Blessings"? Telling one's sadness to everyone may initially gain sympathy and find listeners, but gradually, repeating it will become repulsive. Just like a person lifting his clothes when he meets someone, showing them the scars on his body over time can make others avoid.
2.The past is clear.
There is an idiom in China - "Brothers fight against at homel, but they may unite to resist external aggression." It means that if brothers disagree and argue at home, they will still unite and work together to deal with external aggression. Because of the presence of foreign enemies, brothers who argue will unite. Similarly, difficult environments will also hold people tightly together, and the story of helping each other when both are in humble circumstances is a good example.
It is because of the hardships of life that our family has become more united and hardworking. My wife and I mutually respect and love each other, and even more love our lovely daughter. Similarly, our daughter is also more sensible and has learned to be independent since childhood.
Remembering past events, sadness flashed by, leaving behind more sweetness. Sadness is vague, sweetness is clear.
Some people say that they are grateful for poverty, because poverty has enabled them to constantly strive and ultimately change the status quo and destiny. I am also grateful, because gratitude leads to clear memories.
The past is like smoke, blurry and clear. What is blown away by the wind are the memories of hardship, while ultimately leaving behind are the experiences and beauty that were first bitter and then sweet, clearly visible.
朱自清在其《匆匆》中说:“过去的日子如轻烟,被微风吹散了,如薄雾,被初阳蒸融了;我留着些什么痕迹呢?”是啊,往事如烟,尽管往事渐渐变得模糊,最终消散、淡忘了,可每每忆起总是依稀可见。由此来说,往事既是模糊的,又是清晰的。
一、往事是模糊的。
在原单位时,我和妻子、年幼的女儿——我们一家三口挤在狭小的房子里。房子年久失修,企业濒临破产,也无人管理维修。冬冷夏热,炎热的夏季,房子里几乎是一种蒸笼的感觉;严寒的冬日,连室内的水管子都要冻住了;下大雨时,房顶还漏雨。
妻子在车间里加班加点,每天要干12-16小时,而我在原单位的最后一年,也是上着四班。我们几乎为照看年幼的女儿费劲了心思,跑断了腿。微薄的工资仅仅维持着生活,常常是捉衿见肘,寒碜得很。
单位里分来的学生有的当了官,分到了大房子,有的把妻子调整到了清闲的岗位上。可木讷而不圆滑的自己,却越混越差。
这些事留在了我们的记忆里,可我只能做模糊处理,否则,只能是自讨苦吃,自我伤害了。
我能像鲁迅先生《祝福》里的悲剧人物祥林嫂那样吗?逢人就诉说自己的悲伤,最初可能还博得别人的同情和倾听,可渐渐地,反复的诉说就会令人厌弃了。如同一个人逢人就掀起衣服来,让人看自己身上的疤痕,久而久之,就会令人避之不及。
二、往事是清晰的。
中国有句成语——兄弟阋于墙,外御其侮,意思是说:兄弟不和,在家里争吵,但一旦有了外人侵凌,还是会团结起来,共同对外的。因为有了外敌,争吵的兄弟才会团结起来,同样,艰难困苦的环境也会将人紧紧抱在一起,相濡以沫的故事就是很好的例子。
因为生活的艰难,才使得我们一家人更加地团结和努力。我和妻子相濡以沫,彼此相爱、关心,也更加疼爱着我们可爱的女儿。同样,女儿也更加地懂事,从小就懂得了自立自强,一直很独立。
回忆往事,悲伤一闪而过,留下的更多是甜蜜;悲伤是模糊的,甜蜜是清晰的。
有人说,感谢贫困,因为贫穷才使得自己不断努力,最终改变了现状,改变了命运。我也是感激的,因为感激才会有清晰的记忆。
往事如烟,模糊而又清晰,被风吹散的是那些艰难和困苦的回忆,而最终留下的是那些先苦后甜的经历和美好,清晰可见。