Mental Health: When You Seek Help, do you Actually WANT it?

It is a somewhat sad truth in the mental health industry that depression and suicides tend to be at their highest during and around the Holidays.

The reason can be anything from someone becoming hyperaware of their aloneness and sadness at a time when so much emphasis is placed on family, togetherness and good cheer to this same emphasis on "family" bringing up old trauma and toxic family dynamics we'd just as well not deal with.

In a totally tangible sense, I book more new counseling clients in December and January than at any other time during the year.

Seeking help with your mental health is a big — and often scary — step towards improving yourself, regardless of whether you just "feel a little off-center" or you just had an emotional meltdown during the family Christmas dinner.

Sadly, most people wait until they are in the middle of a crisis before they seek help.

One of the things I often have to spend a lot of time uncovering with new clients is whether or not they have come to see me because they truly want help. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but a lot of people go to therapy without actually having a mindset that truly wants to change.

Although they may not be aware of it at a conscious level, they are mostly looking for someone to confess their frustrations to... without any serious intent to take steps to actually improve their situation. To the degree that we even form a working relationship, it typically ends when they discover that I am not going to just hand them a "green light" to go around telling the world that some family member is "a horrible person."

So we start of by determining whether someone is just going through the motions, or they have actually reached that "tipping point" where they realize that something has to change, and they have to be the active driver of that change.

Alas, we live in a world where more and more people are in search of an "easy button" to handle their challenges.

Sadly, such a thing doesn't really exist.

It's a challenging — but essential — part of the mental health improvement process. And many people don't really want to hear that they are not ready to accept help.

So how do you know?

A good starting point is to look at where your thoughts are. Are you thinking about others and who you might "blame" for your situation? Or are you thinking about yourself, and a desire to simply feel better without your mind being constantly occupied by thoughts of "what's wrong with OTHERS?"

If you are ready to focus on you, and your feelings... chances are much higher that you're ready to accept the advice and help being offered.

Regardless, simply reaching out is a brave first step!

Thanks for coming to visit. Happy Holidays and Bright Blessings to all!

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