Eunuchs in ancient times, despite their physical disabilities, yearned for emotional connections like anyone else.

Eunuchs in ancient times, despite their physical disabilities, yearned for emotional connections like anyone else. A poignant tale from the Ming Dynasty records an aged eunuch who, on his deathbed, bequeathed his life's savings to a "wife" who had long abandoned him, sparking questions about the dynamics of these unusual marriages.

The history of eunuch marriages is complex. During the Tang Dynasty, it was not uncommon for eunuchs and palace maids to marry, with Emperor Taizong even sanctioning such a union, setting a precedent. By the Song Dynasty, eunuch marriages were more accepted, with one eunuch, Cai Jing, taking three concubines and building a lavish residence outside the capital, a match arranged by the emperor himself.

However, the Ming Dynasty saw a drastic shift. Emperor Zhu Yuanzhang, aware of the dangers of eunuch power, banned such relationships, leading to a purge. Yet, during the Zhengde reign, a eunuch named Liu Jin defied the ban, taking concubines and receiving imperial favor instead of punishment, reviving the practice.

By the Jiajing era, "matching for meals," a euphemism for eunuch-maid relationships, peaked, with each having a secret partner, communicating in code. The Wanli era saw a eunuch, Feng Bao, setting a record with five concubines, maintaining a lavish lifestyle that caused an uproar.

In the Qing Dynasty, strict management of eunuchs was enforced. Emperor Kangxi banned marriages, but this led to secret unions, with eunuchs hiding their wives in remote dwellings, as seen with Yu De Tai during the Qianlong era.

Eunuchs had unique criteria for choosing partners, often preferring women from merchant or official families for their skills in management or diplomacy. They used matchmakers, often relatives or associates, to emphasize their status and wealth.

Contracts were signed, detailing property distribution and living arrangements, with some even allowing the eunuch to take concubines to maintain appearances. These marriages were often filled with unique arrangements, such as the "three courtyard system" to avoid disputes among wives and concubines, or "surrogate husbands" to manage affairs and ensure lineage continuation.

Financial management was also distinctive, with systems like the "four cabinet system" or the "monthly ticket system" to control spending. Eunuchs set strict household rules and provided "monthly money" to appease their wives, even arranging activities to occupy them.

The psychological dynamics were complex, with some eunuchs exerting extreme control or even abuse. There were instances of surveillance, punishment, and violence, with some eunuchs recording every detail of their wives' lives.

Despite the tragedies, some marriages ended on a positive note. A eunuch's wife from the Jiajing era cared for her husband until his death and donated their wealth to charity. Others faced different fates, with some wives fleeing or remarrying, while others endured in silence.

By the end of the Qing Dynasty, the number of eunuch marriages dwindled, and the practice influenced literature, with works like "Red Chamber" depicting the sorrows of eunuch wives, reflecting society's growing disapproval of these unions. These marriages, a mix of bitterness and sweetness, left a complex legacy that resonates through history.