I think I might have found my soul mate!

Seriously. As soon as I read up to the word "sloth" in your post, it hit me like a ton of bricks -

I just KNEW that this fly which landed on my nose about 3 hours ago is my long lost soul companion. I know this sounds crazy, but I'm certain that I've lived billions of lives with that old soul, always as a lover, she's always the fly and I'm always the swatter.

It just kills me to think that I swatted it against the wall and proceeded to stomp on it until it turned into a black goo on the bottom of my shoe, almost indistinguishable from the the petrified doggy-doo/ gum that I've been too lazy to pick off for the better part of this century...but I digress.

Woe is me, for my long lost love is now being licked off of my shoe by Smortzy-Portsy, the friendly feline Calico, who's no longer welcome to lick my face :(

:(