Lessons from Fist Fighting

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)
I always avoid getting into fights, especially in my country where you don´t know if the other person is carrying a gun or a knife; there is also another factor to consider, back in my dad´s days, two men would get into a fight and solve their issues one versus one in a fair combat, no outsiders, no weapons and most importantly, no retaliation in the future from one of the parts, now, it is nothing like that.

Getting into a fight is a serious matter, especially if you are an adult - whatever that may be - from whom a good behaviour is expected. Besides if you get injured you don´t heal as fast as if you were 16 years old. It also doesn´t speak highly of you to go to work on monday with a blue eye or a swollen chin.

Long story short, fighting is no good for you, no matter the circumstances.

But sometimes you just can´t avoid it.

I am not someone who runs away from a fight, I was raised to stand up for myself whenever it was needed. I was also raised to avoid a fight as much as I can, to always try to use reason, logic and politics to avoid an argument getting to the point where fists were needed instead of words.

I trained Tae Kwon Do for 8 years - my belt is out of question, but I´m fairly advanced- and I have gotten into street fights a few times - never started by me - so I can say I have some experience but still, I was never the one who started them; Once you understand that a fight can end up in very unfortunate circumstances, you pretty much avoid getting physical unless it is unavoidable.

The thing is, once you realize you are not made of glass and that you can take a few punches without falling, you stop being afraid of fights, you no longer are terrified of someone attacking you with their fists up. This can be good in a certain way - example, I wouldn´t like my kids to run from fights - but it can also be negative, because you stop *taking care of yourself*, you start taking risks you didn´t take before.

But let´s be real, in a street fight there are no rules, your skills count very little and it is a matter of suckerpunching your way to victory. In a street fight the most important factor is weight, then surprise and after that, skills. Skills are pretty much nonexistent in a street fight, mainly because there are too many uncontrolled variables that come into play.

Like yesterday, when someone sucker punched me.

It was my fault. I am always, always in a constant *alert mode*, paying attention to my surroundings, taking mental notes of everything around me, observing all the small details in every place and person, looking over my shoulder from time to time - for example, when I go to a restaurant, I always sit facing the door and I try to sit with my back to the wall - and I procure to never be distracted on the cellphone while I´m in a public place.

Call me crazy or maybe I watched a lot of spy movies when I was a kid but that´s how I am. It is tiring and sometimes I drop my guard. Usually, when people drop their guards is when accidents happen.

Yesterday I was very happy drinking my 3rd Rum and Coke with my brother in a random bar, and some dude decided that my face looked punchable and decided to go for it.

If I had my guard up and if I had been paying attention the guy would never have had a chance to get to me. But I didn´t and he punched me. I don´t know if he recgnized me from somewhere and he hated me, or if I bullied him when we were young, perhaps I looked like someone he hates... I don´t know, perhaps I was just picked by luck. A second later I punched back, he fell and the bar´s security got him out, no big deal.

The true experience from here is that none of us should drop our guard anywhere. We live in a crazy world where everything can happen and in a matter of seconds our lives can change forever.

The good news is, I was having trouble breathing because my nose is more damaged that James Wan´s mind, but with this punch I received, suddenly I can breathe better and I probably don´t need surgery anymore, so thank you random drunk dude, you fixed my nose! :D

Lesson learned. Never drop your guard, keep paying attention to details, be aware of your surroundings, be alert and...

Remember, be Here Now

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Maybe fate threw this guy at you to fix your nose XD I'm glad that had a happy ending, but still maybe better go get your nose checked out anyway XD

I'm similar to you, I won't wear headphones out in public and I like seeing the entry and exit points. I'm still undecided about walls though as though it's useful to have less approach points, back to wall also means less retreat options :)

goatsig

Yeah I believe everything has a deeper reason to happen, not religiously but karma-wise.

That´s so true, I don´t understand how people can ride a bike with headphones, if a car honks they won´t listen and an accident could happen... Yes, retreat options get slimer but attack points also lower, unless you are with your brother and you can get back to back to fight the foes a-la-wolverine-and-sabertooth-style Lol

LoL!

True about the walls, I'm the highly mobile type that likes to duck and weave and RUN AWAY though and walls restrict that too much, even though they do definitely give you less approach points :)

goatsig

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I live in the hoods and guys fight indiscriminately. I used to abhor the idea of fighting back but sooner or later, it dawned on me that I had to step up. I was bullied more times than I could count. My handbag and phones were seized from me almost every week. These touts gleefully perpetrate this act when they know you woudn't do thèm anything and it was especially difficult for me, being a lady to be able to react in anyway and protect myself.

Somehow, I figured out that it needed to stop. I needed to stop getting an i phone every two weeks so I had to do something unbelievable. On a friday evening I was returning home from Pharmacy school when a teenager accosted me and asked for my handbag and valuables. When I hesitated, he punched me in the face. I quickly returned the punch. It was unbelievable to him. I brought out my knife and made sure I gave him a beautiful tattoo on his right wrist. That was the last day anyone attempted to rob me till the day I packed from that hood. He must have told his people.

FIGHTING BACK MIGHT BE DANGEROUS BUT SOMETIMES, IT IS THE ONLY WAY OUT

Exactly, even when you don´t want to, sometimes its the only option, to fight back.
That story is amazing, so good to see you stood up for yourself! I mean, the knife was probably dangerous as you could´ve killed him if soemthing went wrong but I´m glad it all went down smoothly.
I saw your into post, welcome to the platform! Left you a comment there :)

I was worried about the same fact too but thank God the incidence didn't throd a negative path

Thank you very much. I have replied the comment
#muchlove 🙌🙌

The good news is, I was having trouble breathing because my nose is more damaged that James Wan´s mind, but with this punch I received, suddenly I can breathe better and I probably don´t need surgery anymore, so thank you random drunk dude, you fixed my nose! :D

Hahahahahahahahahhahah this line so funny!! It's not good to start a fight anyway but no doubt like u said its good to be able to protect yourself because street fight is always dangerous. You see alot of them in NYC and South America..... Sorry and thank God for your nose my friend it's a win-win my friend lol.

Lol I like referencing James Wan as he has the most twisted, sick and awesome mind. I also sometimes say "this is more crude than a James Wan movie" lol.

Thanks for dropping by man, cheers!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I particularly like the second part of this writeup, the story part. Like what kind of guy just reaches out to a random stranger and punches him in the face? Huh? Maybe you looks like someone who annoyed him at work and he came to drink it off just to come and see you right there...Lol...Anywhere, I am happy that he didn't give you any retinal detachment which is an ophthalmological emergency but healed your nose instead ( permit me to take this one as a joke please)😃

He looked very young and drunk, so a lot of reasons could have triggered the attack haha. This is the first time something like this happens so I like to think my face is not annoying :O Lol yeah, all jokes are welcomed :D

wow! todavía hay violencia en el mundo de la nada?? siempre estoy alerta pero a veces solo vivo, espero no tener esa suerte que tienes tu... De seguro le quitaste la novia en la escuela, jejeje saludos

So sorry about the punch you got yesterday as you described.
Being alert and up with one's guard is quite cool and perhaps, would see a level of mindful existence and being set for any eventful scene.

The ugly story is that Street fight isn't learned and no skills could be termed attributable to a suppose winner.
Honestly, it's a crazy world with so many trouble mongers.
Hope you are doing good?

Virtual kiss to make it better - and be careful. And stay out of fights. Even if you think you have to get involved.
Don't get hurt - I'm being the Mommy here but well, that's me <3

It's true, we should never let our guards down.. that's when really bad things can happen...

some dude decided that my face looked punchable and decided to go for it.

This expression cracked me up real bad tho...

AND

how he ended up fixing your nose is awesome



@ajremy (teen with steam for steem)

Hahahahaha since he fixed your nose, then he deserves a medal. Jokes apart. Truly sorry about the punch. That is the world we sometimes live in, with different people. How can a sane person just look at someone and punch him? It's crazy. So sorry about the punch and glad he got what he deserved. He would be careful with the battle he pick next time. Lesson well learned by him. How are you feeling now? How is the journey going for you? Please, stay safe, and yes, i need those lessons of Tae Kwon Do from you. Haha.

That is so random! No doubt you wouldn't be expecting that even if you were on guard. I'm so happy about the ending though, that's the greatest ever!! BOOM!! I'm glad you may not need surgery anymore, what a strange blessing... :)

it seem that no mater where you go , movie , school , or just about town there is someone there without a moral compass .That they have some kind of right to inflect damage on someone else as if it is acceptable . There seems to be no Justice to those who perform the minor offences .
Example :

" bar´s security got him out, no big deal"

I totally disagree , It is a big deal .

I an glad that my Nomad friend is alright

I love this narrative @anomadsoul.
Who knows, may be the guy was sent to give you a surgery-free cure through the suckerpunch. Haha.

Don Williams sang something about fighting back.

I guess we always need to be alert, but don't you feel restricted always looking out for danger?

Indeed good lesson learned. No one should be carried away by events to the extent of losing one's guard. This is very educative @anomadsoul...

But mehn you cracked me up here with this line...

...that my face looked punchable...

Can't stop laughing... 😁😂

@eurogee

some dude decided that my face looked punchable

HAHAHAHA that killed me man LOL

But I wonder what country are you from for it to be so insecure?

All the things you said of being aware of your surroundings sounded a little bit extreme for me. I mean, it all depends, if we are in an insecure street of course we must be alert, but I don't think we should be like that in places like a restaurant or some safe place.

In a bar, we must certainly be alert because of all the drunks dudes and the typical crazy people we can find there...

But be careful man, guys like that throwing random punches are probably mentally unstable and can do extremely dangerous things, like having a knife for example...

This story really drew me in. Exciting, interesting and well written.

Perhaps I need a punch like that too. I am struggling with nose / breathing issues for the biggest part of my life. So, I guess I'd rather not have this happening to me.

But, like you, I learnt to avoid fights as much as possible and - unlike you - I never had any martial arts or self defense training.

P.S. I agree with the 'keep paying attention to details, be aware of your surroundings part' but I also feel we need to keep 'living'. Relaxing every now and then should be possible. Always being tense, makes it impossible to be in the moment and actually enjoy life ;>)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Hi amigos @anomadsoul I read your post and it reminds me when I was in junior high for methat is correct be aware in your sorroundings and be alert, as I have experience when I was in junior high while I'm buying some snacks and
when suddenly someone attacked me and punch my face then I was down and I stood fast and hit a heavy blow on him and he also down and got a bloody face I dont know why he hit me I dont remember if I have a fault of him, later on some studients sorround us and both of as are going into principal's office to imbistigate who of us both are guilty..and the result is he is loose and the simple thing why he punch me is about the basketball tournament thats why amigo @anomadaoul as you said.

"Lesson learned. Never drop your guard, keep paying attention to details, be aware of your surroundings, be alert and..."

For some reason they always aim for tha nose... always tha nose!
On a more serious note, I am sorry you got punched in the handsome face! I hope he learned his lesson by the punch you handed him back! I got elbowed in the nose a few years ( read many years) back so, I know how it feels to let your guard down because you feel safe and BAM you get hit....
I hope your nose will heal and the fact that you can breath better now is a plus!

I know! Especially MY nose that is a mess, I have multiple fractures from my whole life lol
Oh my, did you know the elbox is the hardest and strongest part of our body? That hit must´ve made a lot of damage...
We´ll see in a week when its not swolled if the nice brething continues! :D Hugs and Kisses Snekky

Well, you have to know that every minute that you are with your guard up you´re expecting to be attacked and your energy and your mind are creating that situation. Of course it´s never going to happen when you are alert, it´ll wait for you to give the opportunity. A defense predisposes to an attack. Once you´ve decided to keep your guard up, you have assumed your possition. Never drop it cause you have already created the contrapossition. It´s much better beeing alert, cause you never know what´s comming.

Hahahahaha the ending....

So this guy has actually done you a favour
I guess this is the reason your guard was down
Funny how The Universe works

Nice post Nomad

Truly something that I have never ever thought about!

I was waiting for a topless photo to pop up with you wrestling in it.
Jokes aside.
Damn, I hope you are alright in a week and the nose isn't double messed up after the swelling goes down. In all honesty in a bar he probably just punched you because you were having a good time and he had a shit day. A Nomad lives the Nomad life, put your brother closer to the door next time, lol.

Oh, for God's sake! How terrible. I could imagine your whole story and even saw a group of friends drinking, I saw that one of them told someone else that you don't go and break the nose of the one who is there having a drink.
It's imagination not witchcraft, but it's a possibility. People do stupid acts when they drink liquor. Glad you could at least take advantage of the bad moment.

¡Por Dios santo! Que terrible. Pude imaginarme toda tu historia y hasta vi un grupo de amigos tomando, vi que uno de ellos le dijo a otro a que no vas y le rompes la nariz a aquel que esta alla tomándose un trago.
Es imaginación no brujería, pero es una posibilidad. Las personas hacen cosas tontas cuando toman licor. Que bueno que pudo al menos sacar provecho del mal rato.

looks like that man got what he deserved. i wonder if he's okay now. Hahaha you seems like a good fighter and that punch must have had hurt him a lot. I am always afraid about my brothers getting into a fight, that's why I always tell them to avoid it as much as possible. Like what you've said, we never know if they are carrying a gun or a knife.

damn ahahah did you refuse to upvote someone and he recognized you? LOL

Keeping your guard up at all times is definitely a good thing, especially in bars or places where people det drunk or high.
As a woman, it's even more important because we HAVE to be on guard all the time, much more than men in my opinion. Women don't get in bar fights as much, but we do have to be able to defend ourselves. I'm a big fan of martial arts and I do think technique trumps weight (at least in Brazilian Jiujitsu it does), which is important for a skinny girl like me....Like I always say, chances are higher for a woman to be assaulted by a man than by another woman, so it's important to defy the weight issue =)

Glad your nose is better now hehehe

Growing up in the eighties with rival schools we were always fighting. We never went out looking for it but it always seemed to find us. We weren't the types to put up with harassment either so we defended ourselves. Fighting was a common thing even through college. The rules have changed as one can now be sued or locked up even when in the right! It's not a fear of fighting but a fear of the consequences afterwards. You can't take the primal right to defend oneself out of the human IMO. No, I'm not a looking for a fight but I've been in enough to know who I am and that's what matters to me. Loved this one brother and sorry you were hit for no reason at all. It happens. Good for you to show him a well rounded reaction. Maybe he learned somethin'? Be well my friend!

Mi estimado @anomadsoul que fea tu experiencia, ese tipo debió ser un loco o un borracho, sabes que a mí me pasó algo parecido hace unos años y espero no importunar pero quiero contarlo. Yo estaba en una vidriera de una zapatería contemplando unos hermosos botines que me gustaron y soñando con ellos en pies, de repente siento un golpe fuerte y seco en mi espalda que me dejó pegada al vidrio, por un momento mi mente se fue del sitio pero cuando regresó pude ver a una mujer que se alejaba de mi riéndose de lo que me había hecho y mi reacción fue devolverle el golpe corrí hasta ella llena de furia pero otra mujer se interpuso pidiendome disculpas porque se había distraído y la mujer que me golpeó era una persona con discapacidad mental y lo pude notar por sus movimientos, sus gestos y la forma de hablar jajajaja me tuve que tragar mi enojo. Así que por eso pienso que quién te golpeó debió ser un ser enfermo.🤔

Oh, God. May you recover and breathe as usual. Experience will indeed answer our every action.

You're right, we do not have to run away from problems and have to deal with them. Maybe that's the best way and the best solution. Because when squashed, the animal will reply to a punch. Even so, until this moment I have never experienced such a fight, except in the past during elementary school, and at that time I was beaten by two siblings strongly. But, because I defend myself, one of them accidentally heads I hit the school wall until a bell appeared. I ended up at that score.

Goddamn it, the two brothers who were gnawing me were not satisfied. I reported it to my parents and finally at home I got the law. The point is, dodge if possible. But if pressed, we are men. The streets are alive and we will learn from experience.

Nice post and thank you for sharing. Bless you!!!

some dude decided that my face looked punchable and decided to go for it.

This made me laugh!

I've never been on a fist fight as an adult, a couple of times when I was a kid, but I guess they were not serious at all.

You have very good points I guess sometimes I get distracted on the street, but I rarely got to bars or to places that I can be dangerous at night. Also I can't (and I don't) drink, I think that's something that protects me on certain level.

And it's good to always look at the bright side of the things!

Crazy story dude. I got sucker punched at a party once... I was just talking with this guy, totally friendly and then out of nowhere WHAM! .. he slugged me right in the face. lol. I never saw it coming. Some other big dudes at the party jumped in right away and took that dude outside so I didn't fight him, and they made sure he left the party so there was no more problems.

I also trained 9 years Tae Kwan Do, I got to brown belt and had it for a few years. My sensei never seemed to want to let me get the black belt though. I tested for it a few times, but never got it.

That's right..always pay attention to details..6 years ago I've been on my way to home and suddenly someone jumped in front of me and started hitting me for no reason..I haven't even knew him..it was terrifying that night..but you are right.. sometimes you just can't avoid it..

I am always, always in a constant alert mode, paying attention to my surroundings, taking mental notes of everything around me, observing all the small details in every place and person

Situational awareness as a skill keeps improving as you use it. “Little things” start to have meaning. Subtleties add up.

I’ve not been in a street fight all my adult life. Situational awareness is part of it, but much of the credit would go to the fact that I’m a big guy. Predators looking for an easy target tend to pass me by for easier prey.

Your post is really learning for life.
As an adult, we can know that a fight is not a good way to solve a problem. Although we are trained in martial arts but that is not one way to rely on our greatness by fighting.

Slightly telling an experience of mine, when I study martial arts, my Master always says "This martial arts is not one way to rely on your greatness with the weak, Use this martial art to protect yourself when there are attacks from bad people who are looking for trouble and martial arts you should use to protect the good people who are around you".

Your post is amazing.

And thank you for visiting my place :)

That sound so scary, why would anyone punch someone else for no reason? That's just crazy..

Hello brother @anomadsoul apologize in advance, let me comment.

Are there any more contests? I was the one who ever participated in the My2018 contest: around my town. I was not a winner at the time but did not become maslah because I like to follow the contest.

Can you help me rate my writing? Here is the sign of my participation in the writing contest, here's the link:

https://steemit.com/indonesia/@bangmimi/kontes-steemit-indonesia-banyak-cara-berbagi-reward-ketika-anda-sudah-memahami-konsep-dasar-platform-steemit-ca47172577ab9

Nice too mett you, thanks

Steemit goodie e20 goodkarma

Tiene que dejar de darle carazos a los puños amigo, Rocky trato eso y no funciona!

Yo ahora les doy con un mazo...

Es increible uno no se da cuenta, pero como dejan de doler los nudillos con el mazo

I also have a brother and we also often fight because of small things and sometimes my brother likes to scare me with a knife when he is angry ...

Your story, reflecting your personal experience, is necessary and useful to those who know how to hear and understand. I have tried all my life to avoid such problems (for fear, especially, I never thought I could win a confrontation). Fortunately, I was not involved, but as you say well, you never know what situation you can put in and it's good to be able to defend yourself. I'm old enough and I maybe I'll be safe but I never know ...

Parts of our life is like unexpected scene happened in time. with or without consent. it was life cycle even we cannot do anything trouble comes with unexpected way. your right in any second we must alert whenever we are because bad people or bad luck comes into it. no reason to be weak.

Siem preferi no pelear, evitar las peleas creo que es siempre lo mejor, pero en el caso que no haya otra opcion, es excelente su leccion.

back in my dad´s days, two men would get into a fight and solve their issues one versus one in a fair combat, no outsiders, no weapons and most importantly, no retaliation in the future from one of the parts, now, it is nothing like that.

I agree with you that it's not like before:
If I have a beef or someone wants to fight me, I would accept the challenge if it was exclusively one-on-one. The problem is now people carry guns or their friends will try to join in.
Also, after a good fight, you might even become friends.

Apparently life has not taught this guy that he can get a decent response to his actions. Either he's not at all right with his head. It's bad that it happened, but in any case, thank you for sharing. I wanted to Express my thoughts here in this comment, but I managed to write a whole post about it. Thank You!

IMG_20170508_142851_099.jpg

That's all i'm saying. Good job for punching back that pendejo off!

Nowadays it is easy to just punch someone than talk to them when you two have a problem. Your experience was scary!

Reading this as Im eating in a restaurant full of elderly Korean women..... cant keep my guard down hahaha

a random punch brought you a new nose! sweet haha.

Wow! That's a miraculous healing. Maybe it was for that reason you had to drop your guard.

Wow, that is horrible. I can't imagine minding my own business and having someone hit me out of the blue. I'm so sorry for you. Take care of yourself!

Excellent reflection. Life is instantaneous and one does not know at what moment it will affect us directly

Hell the troll is sending his minions to the outside world :)

👍👍👍

This reminds me of the movie Fight Club. Have you seen it? There is a quote where one of the characters basically says that you can't really know yourself unless you've been in a fight. When you wrote about recognizing your ability to take a punch, that especially reminded me of the movie. I haven't been in a real fight with anyone, but I guess I'm ready lol. I don't necessarily want to fight, but I do think I'll learn a lot about myself when it happens. If it happens. I am always more of a lover, but I will also defend myself. Great post! I wanted to go check you out after I heard you on the whaleshares curation show. Glad to have found you! I will be checking your blog out frequently.

Bueno Eric dicen por ahí que la mejor pelea es la que se evita y estoy totalmente de acuerdo, además porque al igual que tú vivo en un país donde hasta un simple roce genera una discusión y donde muy probablemente el oponente pueda tener una arma de cualquier tipo. Ahora bien, tampoco pretendo promulgar un pacifismo mal entendido, donde si te atacan no te defiendas ¡Por supuesto que debes defenderte! En este caso estás tratando de proteger tu integridad física, así que estaría totalmente justificado el responder la agresión. De cualquier forma, creo que se necesita un poco más de control de la ira en nuestras sociedades y entender que el decidir no pelear no es sinónimo de “tragarse el orgullo”.
P.D. Que mal por el golpe que recibiste y aunque digas que respiras mejor igual debes revisarte la nariz

Good post!

Sorry to hear that. I hope you heal well.
In karate we also learned to avoid fights, that it's the last resort. And especially if there is a group looking for a fight on an empty street at night, to run to the closest crowded area.
We even learned to take stomach punches by squeezing the stomach muscles.
Luckily I never got into a fight, but I rarely go out at night. I have weak punches, but can do kicks. If ever in a bad spot: you can use elbows and aim for groin/knees.
I highly recommend martial arts for any kid, it's great for their confidence and health. Also greatly helped me to deal with puberty depression (undiagnosed tho) :)

Jajajaja, buena moraleja que diste al final. El mundo es muy inseguro y hay que estar pendiente ante cualquier altercado, aquí en venezuela se vive eso constantemente. Y algo parecido es el mundo de los negocios, culaquier persona te puede dar un golpe a traición. Saludos