I'm feeling 😟 and it's okay.

If you have been paying attention to what's happening around lately, you know that things are definitely not okay. The world is a scary place. People scream and cry. They are angry, and rightly so. Things are getting out of control. But however massively chaotic it is out there, these crazy times brought us all together. The few brave ones are out there fighting to make this world a better place.

Let's all be thankful that we are still alive and full of hope.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we're all feeling a little lost here. Or in this world, or in our lives or in our minds... but there's only so much that we can do. I've been pondering a lot lately about the state of Me and the world. Then I realized that I don't have to punish myself. I don't have to punish myself for all the things that I can't control. We're in a literal global pandemic right now and it's okay not being okay.

Who taught us to be okay all the time anyway? We have access to stuff that keeps us distracted. And feeling not okay has been stigmatized lately. Maybe part of our nature is to maintain this flawless public facade. Misery loves company and we don't want to be infected. We stick to this positivity mantra of our society, but at what cost? We find ourselves imploding and dying inside. And sadly, we stopped noticing those who truly need help.

It's not healthy to live like this. Maybe it's time to be real with what we are going through, without fear of judgments and all.

I know that it can be hard to admit not feeling okay. We try to maintain this glorious portrayal ourselves everywhere, like on social media and such. But we just end up lying to ourselves.

We live in a world where we are pressured to keep up with the times and push ourselves hard. Fakin' it till we make it, hust, hust, hustlin' to the point of burn out. Means vs ends. Then we start thinking about what we got ourselves into, asking ourselves if we are making the right choices, and if it's all even worth it. We are so busy that we lost that much-needed human connection.

With all this happening right at the same time, I feel lost in the world and in my own head. I've been thinking like what am I doing? Why am I here? I'm almost there then what... after I get everything that I want then what's after that? I honestly don't know. The future is uncertain and that should be okay too.

The financial uncertainty and perpetual struggle "to get there" just made me feel even worse. And the looming emptiness to top it all off. On a positive note, some days I feel better, like I could be out and about or blogging about all things @diabolika. And some days are just...meh. Lately, I've been feeling hermity so you might notice that I've been writing a lot as a result, and if you don't notice, I'm okay with it too.

And here I am noticing you! Oooh la la. So,

how are you feeling today?

Okay 😄

Okayish 😐

Not Okay 😟

• If you feel okay, then I am happy for you! Be grateful for all the blessings and everything that you have. Let's celebrate life!

• If you feel okayish, then know that things will get better. Just hang in there!

• If you feel not okay, then I'm with you. I don't know you personally, but know that you are not alone. You are loved.

---

previously, previously, previously,

This is Broken