Being a dad is literally the most important thing in the world to me. In the universe. In all the universes. But sometimes I feel like I'm stuffing it up.
Man, I get so stressed, especially when my wife's expectations of me are involved. And inevitably that feeds back to my relationship with my daughter.
I so wish I was more chilled, like all the time.
Or maybe, more realistically, more of the time.
Because as it stands I feel like I'm on the path to failure as a dad, and I hate that feeling. And I know that I'm probably over reacting, that it's been a pretty intense couple of weeks, but it feels good to vent.
Thanks the gods I have Steemit, and its supportive community (you) to vent to.
For me, Steemit is at it's best when people are being real. Connecting with themselves.
So, thanks for listening!
But while I'm at it, one of the reasons that I get stressed about my wife's expectations is that she's a person who is very good at expressing her displeasure at me when I'm not up to scratch, but she is not very good at the little things that might help to balance that out - the little thank you's for doing, well, anything on any given day. Doesn't matter how big or small, how much or little time is involved in trying to make her happy, or just contributing to our family life, it's a rare day when I get a thank you.
Or a hug.
Or a kiss.
But it's not as if I didn't know this about her when we married. And I'm not trying to claim some kind of victimhood, or martyr status. It's just the way it is.
I just need to work out a better way of dealing with it.
So, thanks again for listening, for reading and replying to my posts. I really appreciate it.
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I hear and understand your point of view. It's possible your wife is feeling the same as you are and thus expressing her dissatisfaction with you. Have a conversation and see where it goes. Maybe, you guys may learn more about each other.
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I feel you. As a father of two, I know how hard it is to stay cool all the time. Because kids are kids. They do and say things you are not appreciating, especially when they are in the puberty (which happens to be the case for both of mine).
Regarding the reactions of your wife I can say, you are not alone. We humans, tend to see only the bad things in life. This is especially true between husband and wife. Like that worries thing you already wrote about, this is something we have to deal with.
The best thing you can do is to talk to your wife on that fact in a calm moment, with a good glass of wine. Both of you need to talk about your feelings. She loves you, and there is a chance she is willing to work on herself to change.
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Friend, you have the support of everyone here. I understand you and I understand how difficult this is, even these situations become more difficult when there are children involved. I advise you to reinforce communication with your wife.
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It's all about communication. I recall a therapist once telling me that couples get marriage therapy about seven years too late. I've only been married four years and I've considered it a number of times to smooth out some of our communication rough patches.
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To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:
Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check this post out for more information.
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Well, that's comforting.
Sarc
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When it comes right down to it, it's hard to really "fail" as a father, short of waking out of your child's life.
I recall a sociology class I took in college and my professor read an article to the class discussing how The Simpson's measure up as a family. I was absolutely disgusted to hear that the only thing that made Homer a good father was "at least he's there." Presence is apparently the minimum standard for being a good father, so in the eyes of some idiot writer, you're a good father for fulfilling the basic minimum of being present.
It sounds like you're like me and hold fatherhood to a higher standard than merely presence. Bear in mind that providing, presiding, loving, and teaching are really the core components of being a father. As the very least, that's my standard. I feel as though these things come naturally to an involved father such as yourself, so it would be hard for you to actually "fail" as a father. Whether you judge yourself by the "presence standard" or what I've written above, it seems like you're a successful father, not a failure.
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