Would You Let Your Child Attend a Sleepover?

in life •  6 years ago  (edited)

The kids have stated to get invites

Recently Mini Me 1 and Mini Me 2 have received a few invites to birthday parties that involve a sleepover. Personally I feel they are too young to sleep over at friends houses, they are 9 and 8 years old. To be honest my husband and I are pretty strict when it comes to sleepovers. We just say no.

Clip from the podcast

I recently discussed this issue on my podcast The Sisterhod it MummyImperfect and found out other mums views as well as what actually goes down at a 12 year olds sleepover. Have a listen to the clip below:

Why we say no

Our kids have only slept over at family’s houses without us 3 times. Once was when I was giving birth to Mini Me 3, once was when me and hubby went away for a night to celebrate our 10 year anniversary and the third time was last weekend when Me and hubby went to Paris for a night. On that occasion they were at their own house but my parents, sister and nieces stayed over with them. We trust the family members who looked after them on those occasions and there are probably some close friends we would also trust. However it would be wrong to assume that kids are going to be 100% safe just because they stay with someone they are related to. I know some people who had had horrible experiences staying the night at relatives houses where they were supposed to be safe but were subjected to abuse. Other reasons we say no to sleepovers is because it’s not something we ever did as children (probably a cultural thing), we don’t see the need for them to be sleeping over at other people’s houses without us. And let’s face it, ain’t no one actually sleeping at a sleepover. They are going to be messing around all night and will come home severely sleep deprived. I also don’t want to put such a big level of responsibility on someone else. I’ve actually had my daughters friends sleep over at our place before and I was more attentive to them than my own kids as I wanted to make they were handed back to their mum in one piece and with good memories.

Not sleeping over at a sleepover

My eldest daughter recently attended her friend’s 10th birthday party sleepover. Only she didn’t stay the night there. She came home to sleep and just went back for breakfast with the other girls the next morning. She was quite happy with that arrangement. The mum of the birthday girl is a family friend and I have trusted her to look after my kids after school on a few occasions. However, I was quite surprised to see that other kids parents who hardly knew the family at all were fine dropping their kids off to spend the night there. That’s just my view though and maybe hubby and I will be ok with letting the kids attend sleepover at certain people’s houses when they are older.

If you would like to listen to the whole episode of the podcast click below:
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-sisterhood-of-mummyimperfect-podcast/id1440539725?mt=2&i=1000424769869

Or
https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-e6d3s-a07ab0

What are your views on letting kids attend sleepovers? And do you have any memories of going to sleepovers when you were a child?

MummyImperfect x

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I also would say no. For me, it feels weird that my kids aren't with us in the same house when we are sleeping. I wouldnt't be able to close my eyes. I also don't feel the need and especially when I don't really know the parents or haven't been at their house. I'm not sure at what age I would let them sleep at their friends's house. It's funny because as a child(I didn't have a good childhood) I was sleeping at different houses.

I also would say no. For me, it feels weird that my kids aren't with us in the same house when we are sleeping. I wouldnt't be able to close my eyes. I also don't feel the need and especially when I don't really know the parents or haven't been at their house. I'm not sure at what age I would let them sleep at their friends's house. It's funny because as a child(I didn't have a good childhood) I was sleeping at different houses.

Maybe because you say you didn’t have a good childhood you want to do something different for your own kids and create a safe, happy and secure home for them.

Yeah, i think so too 🙂

For us it's a yes. My eldest's first sleep over was at 2.5/3 years old, at a trusted family member's house. I remember at that time, it was very much needed to give my husband and I a break and some time together. It didn't happen again until she was 5 or 6.

Now my 2 have sleepovers at one of my closest friend's places (where their kid is also our kids' best friend, they're all 7yo or under) maybe once every 2 or 3 months. I trust that friend completely, the girls always tell me everything that happens, and they pretty much always sleep well.

And vice versa, this friend who helps us, is a single parent herself, with no family around. She always needs a night to herself to recuperate. So her kid will sleep over at ours monthly, so the parent can have a much much needed break. For any child who comes into my house, sleepover or not, I will treat as I do my own.

So personally, I am all for sleepovers, but totally dependent on the conditions!

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. It’s good to know the other side of the story too....good experiences of sleepovers. It sounds like a good set up where you can support each other.

Likewise! We're so comfortable with the thought of sleepovers, only because we have friends we trust completely to treat our children just as we would. This post definitely reminded me to remember to be grateful for that, because friends like that are rare gems!

In Australia, we are a bit more relaxed with this sort of thing and it's common. As long as both parents agree then it should be fine. It builds confidence and friendships. But at the same time, you can only make the best decisions you can as a parent.

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I’m not a fan of my children sleeping over anywhere. I rather they stay until super late .... there is maybe 1 place I would let them sleep over ... and that is only bc I know the family really well over the years .

I totally understand. There are very few people I would let my kids stay overnight with.