In his book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama shares the secrets of a fulfilling life. In the following we will present the perception that this beautiful soul has about the happiness that lasts. Why compassion and intimacy are so important and how you can overcome suffering and negative moments are some of the things that you will learn below.
- Do not focus on what is outside
External events can affect your happiness in the short term, but the level of happiness will rise shortly after the event. If you win the lottery, you will be happy in the short term. On the other hand, our way of thinking will always affect the way we see the world. It is possible to train your mind in such a way that you can identify and cultivate positive mental states, completely eliminating the negative ones. Thus, eventually you will be able to live a happy, joyful life, regardless of the outside circumstances.
- Develop your sense of compassion
Compassion is a condition that implies the total lack of aggression and the desire to see those around you unharmed. The physical and mental benefits stem from the experiences we have after helping someone. To cultivate compassion, try to empathize with others and understand things from their point of view. An effective way to do this is to understand the situation in the group you are part of together.
- Build close and intimate relationships
Having close relationships with others, you will feel better physically and mentally. The Dalai Lama said he feels a connection with a wide field of people (his teachers and his kitchens). He even talked about business-related things with a person wiping the floor. Taking every opportunity to connect with other people, we can have a happier life.
- Find your way to spirituality
The benefits of a religious life have been studied and start from happy families to a healthier life. But spirituality does not depend on a certain religion; The Dalai Lama believes that any major religion of the world can offer a happier life. In fact, there is a kind of spirituality that has nothing to do with the religious sphere: it is based on basic human qualities, such as kindness, compassion and interest for the next one, and so both an atheist and a religious person can obtain this spirituality.
- Look for suffering as a normal quality of life
Some people do not really understand that suffering is part of people's lives and they tend to look at themselves as victims of a bad force when something goes wrong. But suffering is inevitable; we will all age and we will eventually die. Avoiding and ignoring these things are just temporary solutions. When you suffer, in one form or another, your mental attitude is very important. If you are afraid of suffering, looking at it as something unfair and abnormal, you will feel like a victim and will blame you when you should actually eliminate any mental source of suffering by accepting it as part of your life .
- Eliminate negative attitudes and feelings
Negative attitudes, such as hatred and fear, stop us from being happy. These feelings poison us. On the other hand, positive attitudes - love, compassion, patience, generosity - can fight against the negative, eliminating them. To eliminate negativity, emotions and positive behavior must be cultivated.
- Always see the full side of the glass
When someone struggles with a negative situation, that person does not think of anything positive. Generally, however, most situations contain both positive and negative parts and may be private from different perspectives. For example, you might think you are sitting next to an annoying person on the plane, or you could see the situation as an opportunity to exercise your tolerance and calm.
- Get rid of negative feelings
Of all the negative attitudes, anger and hate are the biggest obstacles to happiness. When hatred or anger occurs in our path, peace is destroyed. It also blurs our thinking, often pushing us to make decisions that just make us worse and make us nervous. Scientific studies show that the predisposition to hatred, anger and hostility lead to health-related harm - these are the ones that increase the risk of heart disease.
9.And replace them with positive feelings
Anger and hatred can not be overcome by suppression. On the other hand, hurrying (tipping), increasing negative feelings, we will not reduce them. The correct attitude towards anger is to learn to calm down and tolerate and at the same time cultivate these antidotes - through meditation. When you're nervous, take a break to analyze the situation. Where does the anger come from? What factors did it create? Is it destructive or constructive?
- Leave your anxiety and low self-esteem
Anxiety is often associated with low self-confidence, and the Dalai Lama believes that its antidote is to be honest with yourself and those around you in terms of your capabilities and limits. If you feel comfortable with your own limits, you will recognize when you do not know how to do something, without losing self-esteem.