Life and death and when your time is up

mejustandrew (58) · 7 years ago

Wow, your story really touched me, as I was never thinking that what we have here are really humans with real problems and lifes, and yours is impressing. I had a lot of people touched by Alzheimer’s in my family and most of them were men, rarely women which is pretty discouraging also... They also left us some stories to be told and some memories that we only can remember, but also the power to value what we got now.

I can relate to almost all that you said, even if I wouldn't like to, and I honestly hope that you will be strong in this period of time, because whether you are aware or not, you make the examples that your son will follow most of the times in his life.

Reading this made me remind the fact that I may not be living the life that I want, and that I should try my best to build a better one for me and for the rest of the others that I can help.

I really wish you to go well through this period as it is not that easy at all.

Take care!

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musamalijames (62) · 7 years ago

This is so unfortunate. We are together with you in this sad time. Although the worst is expected, let's pray for the best for father.

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makerhacks (66) · 7 years ago

Sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine :(

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roman3 (47) · 7 years ago

Life is so funny, but we cannot understand.
we live today and tomarrow, we die.
what is the meaning of life?
We must make good use of the little time given to us to spend here on earth, because a time shall come when this life would be taken off us.
Live your life today as if there is no tomarrow.

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nicnas (66) · 7 years ago

I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I have a good friend that was going through the same thing with his mom. It was really hard for him as I assume it is for you. My heart is with you and I hope that you get to spend some good time with him and your family. Let me know if you need anything.

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stabilowl (63) · 7 years ago

Hi Mark, I am very sorry to hear about your Dad. I have experienced two deaths so far in my life. I lost my mum when I was 5, and it does Scar, as in I still remembers exactly what happen the night she died, but I feel like it was more because it was sudden and we haven't had proper closure (my dad didn't tell me she died after she was sent to the hospital and never talked about her again because he was devastated) so I think have closure and letting the sorrow out for you and your son would be an important thing. The second death was my grandma, much later just before I had my son. She too was not very coherent by the time we went to her death bed, but even though she couldn't speak, she still recognised me and squeezed my hand. I know it's scary and sad that you Dad may not seem to remember you, but I think deep down they all do. So stay by him! Let him know that you are there even though he may seem incoherent. Stay strong!

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phillip20steem (50) · 7 years ago

@themarkymark. Very good reflection about life on a Saturday evening. The rain is pouring down hard as I am reading your post. I am sorry about your father, alzheimer is a detrimental disease. Death and dying is a very touchy subject. Nobody knows when their time on Earth is done. That's why make the most of our life. Spend some time with your father while you can. He might not remember you but he will feel your presence as his son.And you have a wonderful memories about your father.

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joshuaattat (53) · 7 years ago

Am so sorry to hear this; do stay strong through this trying times.

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andreasgrubhofer (58) · 7 years ago

God bless u bro! Feelin with u... Stay strong man!

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emmakkayluv (58) · 7 years ago

So sorry about your dad. At times accepting reality will save us of lots of trauma. I know you are strong, I pray yours son and mom will be able to handle it too

when our life expiration date is attained, we all leave here! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

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cosmophobia (67) · 7 years ago

Life is very short and you need to share each passing moment taking care of your love ones, because we will never see this day again.

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lesfanmusics (37) · 7 years ago

So sorry for the demise of your dad.
There is a season for everything.
Time to be born
time to die
Lets live a good life so that we might not be forgotten when we are gone

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vintageverve (50) · 7 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss. Making the most of our days should be our paramount priority. The funny thing about life is that today you're living tomorrow you might die. The sweetest part of dying is dying as a fulfilled man or woman.
You just got to be strong @themarkymark!

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abhinavmendhe (46) · 7 years ago

You are in a terrible circumstance. All my prayers are with you. Please spend all the time you can with him. Take care of yourself.

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yalzeee (61) · 7 years ago

Wow... Really sorry about your dad, Alzheimer's is a horrible plague.very true though. Life is short and we should make the most of it. Stay strong mark.

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bxt (70) · 7 years ago

i am sorry to hear that your father left you . Every one of us does not know when we are going to disappear on the earth, so do what we can do every day as much as possible, enjoy every day and make every day become more meaningful.

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anzirpasai (55) · 7 years ago

I am a nurse. I found many cases of dementia. Dementia is caused by damage to the brain's nerve cells in certain parts, usually when the age of 65 years of dementia occurs.

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jesse12 (61) · 7 years ago

😢 so sad to hear this
It burns my heart
Just want you to know that there's time and season for everything
It's hard to loose someone
But just stay strong
My prayers are with you and your family

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cryptocartograph (54) · 7 years ago

Sorry to hear about your situation,

Inevitably, we all have to process death and grief at some point in our lives, I’m sure you will guide your son safely through this period.

I haven’t experienced dementia in any relatives so can’t imagine what it feels like, but cancer is pretty common in my family so these things are never easy.

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gabbingster (39) · 7 years ago

So sorry to hear about your father. I know the feeling when the dreaded call comes. My mother passed away recently and I have still not got over it. The moment the hospital called and said for me to come immediately I knew the time has come for her to leave. I know I will never be the same, for losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself. But life goes on and I do my best to live my life to the fullest for that is what my mother gave me -life.

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paradigm42 (59) · 7 years ago

My grandfather had Alzheimer's. I saw what he and my father went through as his caretaker when I was a young child. I would not wish that experience on anyone and I'm truly sorry you and your family are experiencing it now..

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merej99 (70) · 7 years ago

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know the pain of seeing a father dying. The truth is, you know it's coming but it's still going to hit you like a ton of bricks when death comes. The dying is harder on the survivors. Do your best. I don't know you or your son well enough, but my kids were pre-teens when my father died. I was honest with them. And as uncomfortable the words "death" and "dying" are, they are reality and my kids understood the finality of it. And I do my best to keep his memory alive.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep these last moments with your dad regret-free. And try to remember that everyone grieves differently. Respect that. HUGS.

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karencarrens (58) · 7 years ago

@themarkymark, my heart is full of compassion for each of you precious people. Having lost my dad years ago, I know that the long goodbye can be incredibly painful. It's my hope you have yet to witness very special pockets of clarity with your dad... memorable tender moments in which he can share with you, your mom and your son what you all mean to him and vice-versa, he will know what he means to you. 💞

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kubbyelizabeth (66) · 7 years ago

💜 my virtual 🤗 and prayers for your family

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replayit (34) · 7 years ago

This post does awaken your message. Thank you for sharing such a touching story.

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sunlit7 (59) · 7 years ago

Sorry to hear of your father ailing. There is some good news on the horizon for this horrific disease and I've also passed along to others to look into CBD, it doesn't cure Alzheimer's but it suppose to stop it's growth.
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/alzheimers-gene-is-neutralized-in-human-brain-cells-for-the-first-time/

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iamthegray (62) · 7 years ago

This is a moving story.

We all have an expiration date, something we learn very early in life but only truly appreciate when you see death first hand and how unforgiving it can be.

The brevity of life humbles us. When we sit to reflect on how transient life is, we slowly begin to rework our priorities.

At the end, it is the memories that keep us going; the smiles, the laughter, the arugments.

I cannot say I know how you feel but I can feel a flow of your thoughts in my heart. We can never be fully prepared to lose someone close to us.

Thanks for sharing this post.

It's has created ripples of introspection in my mind.

Blessings to you, your son and family

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themarkymark (78) · 7 years ago

Thanks for all the kind words it was rough seeing him yesterday. He didn't recognize me, asked what my wife's name was, and didn't recognize my son.

My mother is feeding him liquid morphine so he can sleep without falling out of bed.

I got her a video baby monitor so she doesn't have to hover around him while he sleeps and she can take a break for a bit.

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jhonathan28 (44) · 7 years ago

Es una historia conmovedora, lamentablemente la muerte es algo que no podemos evitar es lo unico seguro que tenemos en la vida

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nowiknow (49) · 7 years ago

We all go there and having been in dangerous situations and seeing others almost loose their lives makes me make choices wiser and be thankful for the good in my life. I don't know if I would be as happy as I am if I wasn't aware we can loose it all very fast. On the other side knowing you and everybody else will die I wish I was the old ignorant version of myself sometimes when I didn't worry. But back then I was wasting so much time on anger and stupid things.

I hope you had priceless joyful moments with your Dad and maybe some are still to come. I know many who don't even have a Dad so I congratulate you to this long time experience.

Best Wishes!

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rawdawg (61) · 7 years ago

I’m sorry to hear this @themarkymark . Hang in there buddy.

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teamsteem (74) · 7 years ago

I'm sorry to learn about that. I wish you and your family the strength all of you need.

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karl-haynes (38) · 7 years ago

Thanks for sharing.
My dad passed at 78, from Alzheimers. It was tough on the family...confusing for him.
We had to take care of my mom, after he became aggressive too. We tried locked rooms at first, but then put him in a nursing home.
It is a tough illness to go through...praying for you.

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terrylovejoy (62) · 7 years ago

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Dementia is tough on not only the person suffering it but also to all the people around them. My heartfelt best wishes to you and your family.

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mathuselah (63) · 7 years ago (edited)

Hang in there @themarkymark.
I come from a family that unfortunately has severe demencia running on both sides - so chances are I will develop some form of it eventually.

I have seen all my grandparents slowly fading - getting progressively lost, from the point of challenging that they are not confused, to the point where they seem to relive their teenage years - I've been on the shoes of my grandmother's "boyfriend" a few times - up to the time where it completely fades into an existence of relative void and peace.

That's the only solace we can take from it - at least they will go without realizing much of what's happening to them, in peace.

It gets to a point where it is no longer worth it correcting them. To tell them their husband passed away and seeing them re-living what was probably one of the worst days of their lives again and again.

We've just ended up accepting their fate - what is, is deffinitily no longer what it was. And we provide them with whatever confort you can give them, to relieve their stress and nerves. It is not worth it anymore to fight every battle and to curate every thought of theirs.

I am starting to see the early signs of its onset on my parents, even sooner than on my grandparents - and it terrifies me a bit - but it is the fate that is sealed in our genes.

Just hang on in there and, as you say, try to make the most of your time and days. I'll do the same on my end.

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erodedthoughts (66) · 7 years ago

To see it end like this is devastating. To see the damage done and how helpless you are is unspeakable.

I could not agree more with this. I watched my grandmother like this for many years through the eyes and stories of my family. I did get to fly out and see her a few months before she passed and she had one of her only clear days while I was visiting. The others were an absolute shit show. She was in a constant state of panic and confusion. It broke a little more of my heart seeing her like this. She was my last living grandparent, the rest had already died from cancer.

I can say honestly this was the worse way to watch a loved one go. Scared and alone after such a full life is just wrong. I wish there was something I could say to make this easiervbut I think facing it head on and accepting it is the best course of action. Explain what you can to your boy and celerbrate the good positive moments all you can, it all ends in the blink of an eye.

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greedwalker (40) · 7 years ago (edited)

It happens, man. But it will be passing by in the end.
We all will be passing by in the end, so don't care about it too much.
Your son will be fine, I'm sure of it.

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