Yesterday morning, that my power is all in my head, popped into my head.
People who abuse power to disempower others do so against those they perceive as weak.
Put in front of them someone who knows their own power and they are far less likely to try.
Most women who are groped- which is often, psychologically, coming from a place of male power expression, feel guilty, as if they did something wrong. They silence themselves.
This is the quagmire of being a woman and of femininity.
Being female is essentially powerful.
Being a woman is the ability to give birth to another human.
It's not coincidence that in a man's world, this contribution is devalued. That's because it's a talent men don't have. No wonder there's a generation of religious extremists whose women call themselves feminists. In a way, by connecting to the ability that is uniquely female, they are right.
It's a man's world but it would be nothing without a woman.
The basic instinct of men is to crawl up the heirarchy is to win the attention of the picky female they long for.
In this sense, in contrast to it, a woman's power lies in not revealing. In concealing power that can be released at will, provoking the man to act by instinct alone and against his will. The man is the slave. The woman is the slave driver.
This is why women are subjugated. Because of our threat to men.
But no version of feminism, as far as I can tell, is the answer.
We are living and acting in a man's world, in male heirarchies. In that context, women are measured against their rules.
Automatically this distorts our own acknowledgment of our power, our self esteem.
If we cover up our femininity at work, we lose touch with a part of ourselves. The feminine power. We can end up super competent at work, skilled in a fast seduction, but miserable at the slow play of flirtation into relationship, of enticing through our softness. But even if we are super competent at work, we will be paid less. Who cares, Jordan Peterson, if that's because we're more eager to please and less likely to be aggressive negotiators? We know that if we negotiate hard we will be punished. Either way, we are angry at the injustice until we let go of wanting to prove ourselves in a male field.
If we show our femininity at work, we can't compete on the same terms as men because they act towards us as women, outside the make hierachical rules. We see that we are given space because of our femininity, and then begin to lose self respect for using this precious internal power, trading it for something less worthy. Initially thrilled, we later become depleted and sad.
But men too have issues of their sense of self in the world. I cannot speak to them from inside the experience
The answer is universal.
When I lose my sense of my own power, what does it mean?
It means that there is an energy potentiality inside of me which I can use my free will to release it.
It means it's already there.
Say you look at someone else who seems confident and you think- I wish I could be more like that person.
What do you mean?
You're not actually that person. Let's make that clear.
So if you were "like" that person, from the inside- what would that mean?
It would mean you'd be exactly the same as you are now. In that, you would have all the same power potentiality within you. The only difference is that you would be in touch with it.
And that, really, is the answer.
Becoming more confident or empowered is not about acquiring. It's about letting go. Letting go of whatever is holding you back.
And it's all in your head.
Want to know how you would feel if you were confident?
You'd feel exactly as you do now. But without the insane chattering mind.
You would be exactly as you already are.
And you would go out and do stuff.
Being powerful is all in your head.
And then, it's all in your hands.