Dear diary: The Ritual

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

The ritual.

Woke up 4am. Puked dinner. Stretched. Shower. Sit outside, let barefeet touch ground. Meditate. Cry. Beg for mercy. Sinus rinse. Kratom. Smoke 1000 cigarettes (the only thing i have to live for). Negative monkey mind. All the stuff id be doing without pain. Fear my child wont know his father. Anger. Despair. Tired, exhausted. What can i do today to move forward or find relief, thoughts. Just give up. Embrace the pain. Quite the mind. Become Pure, become Pure Pain.

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My wife used to get headaches a lot when smoking cigarettes. Now she vapes and doesn’t get any. Have you thought of doin this. You will be in my prayers for this ritual in your life to stop. That is no way for a person to live. I’m sorry you are enduring this, hang in there, it will end soon!!

Ty @jlsplatts. Ive had a 24hr a day 7 days a week for 11 years non stop headache. Ive done many things including quit smoking for 3 years. I also in attempt to heal myself got in the best shape of my life and was really involved w nutrition. Nothing has helped and pain has evolved/increased. Im pretty much house bound. Ty for your comment and support.

OMG I couldn’t imagine!!! Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about having this issue for so long. Keep fighting and never give up, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even though it may seem like it will never end. My mother was bed ridden for many years due to severe migraine headaches. Growing up I always knew where she was. After many years of goin to countless doctors and a lot of $$ she wasn’t getting any better. After goin to a naturopathic doctor for a few years she has been relieved of these constant headaches and last time I talked to her she hadn’t had one in over a month. She suffered for many many years and finally got some relief. I imagine you have tried everything under the sun and are at your wits end. Try to stay positive and never quit!!

Wow! Im glad she is getting some relief! Yes im practically a headache genius lol. I still have a to do list and the main one is to finish my neurocranial restructuring (NCR). It gave me the most relief ever and has the possibility to improve/cure my pain. I believe it is being caused by my neck. Ive had millions of head and neck injuries as i was an athlete. Ty for your comment, empathy and understanding. Blessings

Cheers to a road to recovery in your near future.

Ps Im glad your wife is doing better! I hope to one day join the club :), headaches can be no joke.

Very short version of when H started. I went thru a really bad break up w fiance of 5yrs. I started drinking and sniffing coke for about 8 months. I started serious weight lifting. I was in many fights and also head/neck injuries. All back in 07 and it started w a pressure inside center of skull along w nervousness in body for no reason (mind was calm). Its since progressed vastly.

Say a couple years later i really started digging into buddhism, meditation, advaita, science, philosophy, ,, Truth. I lost my religion which i use to be devoted to before all the above listed.

So in the beginning say 2010 i started to research kundalini and thought the same. I tried many things back then w kundalini. After no progress i started doctors etc hard core.

After some years my truth search peacefully came to an end.

I am open to all possibilities and it may be! The NCR gave me major relief so i want to follow through with all treatments. I also need some detoxification etc. I will look into this more! Yes i know iceman, a living beast!

I know of this old women who lives in the mountains where i use to live. She is a kundalini healer and miracle worker. I saw w my own 2 eyes her heal severe depression in one of my friends. At the time that was against my religion and no headaches hah.

I am looking at this from all angels and i do do energy work for some time now. Heres one of the first vids i watched way back when.

What makes you think this is kundalini?
Any suggestions how to fix, it is deathly painful?
Ill be checking your links now, thanks Bruv!

Ps i have been meditating for years now and have played w the pain energy attempting to move it, release it, embrace it, love it etc to no avail. I do briefly get relief sometimes from meditation. Ty kindly

I've tried to take a solid oath NOT to get involved in other people's work. But your posts are so much like the types of things I used to write while I was in the throws of something very similar. I watched your video above and it is just like this one from Greg Holiday;

The "Short Version" of my story is just Biblical Torment. I wasn't very religious before. I became what some might view as rather Religious due to the Biblical level of Torment. This lasted years and came about from visiting a Healer, who put me in touch with a rather substantial injury from 20 years ago that has haunted me.

In short, if you're NOT going through a Kundalini awakening I'll eat my hat. I have ZERO faith in Western Medicine who are as much Practitioners of VooDoo as they are anything else. The track record for Western Doctors is abysmal and short of Jesus himself coming to fix it, will remain a very Psychotic way of helping people with their health.

What you are describing in your diary can only be understood by someone like me as a Kundalini awakening, with a VERY significant Block starting with the Throat Chakra. I've come to find that keeping the Head Wrapped is useful, as well as the deep breathing taught by the Wim Hof method I posted above. My daily routine became very centered on cannabis use for several years, which helped me considerably. Yoga and Functional movement exercises were also part of the routine.

I hope it helps to know others who have had similar experiences. Your posts are always of interest to me.

Kind regards Bruv!

Id say 10% effective "western medicine". It really is just a money machine and population control widget lmao.

I do love chiro, acupuncture, massage, reiki, and this NCR which goes totally against western medicine. W ncr they are shifting you skull plates, of which normal docs say skull plates dont move. Yah bs they sure do!

Would of never met @frankbacon if it wasnt for these weirdheadaches :D, so thats a plus

I hope its faster than a speeding bullet. This is the REALEST most continuous thing i ever expierenced besides "i am

I wish cannabis helped! 90% of strands agitate it and zero effect from cbd.

I do appreciate you Bruv and "other peoples work" well ty for sharing some details. I know the torment you speak atleast similar.

holy crap dude, that is truly a living hell. no idea how you find the strength each day to endure, let alone exist in relationships with others. I have nothing to offer here, except that I honour you and the deeply real way your handling it.

Brought me to tears man. Idk either. I am the very reason you should INJOY your life! Even w all the bs mixed in.

Deep breathes, all i can say.

Ty SO much. You have empowered me for another day.

Namaste

much respect - thanks for being you, everything else is outside your control I guess. glad your into massage. I studied mio facial release over 20 years ago, all that stuff is awesome.

Yes! Huge part of my prob. Mio F. Dura matter that wraps brain and meningies wraps spine. All tightening my being. Prob from head or neck injury.

Ive met some very powerful massage characters!

Thanks Brother!

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Follow you very I expected.

On the attention of his I say thank you.

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