Mental Health Monday - When It Hasn't Been Your Day, Your Week, Your Month...

in mentalhealthmonday •  7 years ago 

First and foremost, this is not intended to make anyone worry about me. I am well. I am dealing with myself and taking it a day at a time.

Here we go. I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones, and I am happy, for the most part. However, that goddamn Anxiety Monster rears its ugly head and I shut down. I want to hide. I want to stay home and never leave. I wear a happy smile, I post happy thoughts, but am I really living happily? I want to say yes, so badly.
But it isn't hopeless! I know things are improving. I know I'm not as bad with my depression as I once was. However...
I recently had something trigger a shame-filled, bad-bad childhood memory. I'm alone in dealing with that as I will never reveal it. This is actually the first time I'm even admitting outside of my own mind that it even happened. I just can't.

I think this is all I can manage today. Talking about my own mental health exhausts me. Find me on Discord at hethur240#5582. Take care.

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Big hugs pal!!! I’m sorry you’re having one of “those times”. I understand all too well that having a happy life, surrounded by friends and loved ones can tend to intensify the anxiety because you feel guilty for having the stupid condition. It takes a lot to acknowledge the anxiety and sometimes you just have to let your guard down. It’s ok. Love you tons buddy! Let’s go play at the river soon and get some fresh air and good vibes ❤️❤️❤️

Melbert, I don't know what I'd do without you. I need my friends and I'm so thankful you are one of them. We've been through a lot together. Message me. Love you!

so glad you wrote about this too! thanks to @kiaraantonoviche, there is some inspiration flowing! my heart goes out to you. i have been there. depression/anxiety/whateverfaceitrearsitsuglyhead are so hard to deal with when they're happening. my love goes out to you even though we haven't met, fellow ozarkian! if you need to talk find me on discord mountainjewel 0238 ... you're not alone and it takes a lot of courage to write a note like this!

Dude you know where we are if you need us!

Proud of you for even trying out #mentalhealthmonday <3 Talking about this kind of stuff tires me out as well so I get it :) Take your time and know that I am here for you too

Thank you, @kiaraantonoviche. Thank you for starting this dialogue. I needed it more than I knew.

Hugs!

Thank you so much, @fishyculture!

Aww, I'm really sorry :( I just want to give you a hug🤗 and I really hope you'll be feeling better soon. I can relate!

I will totally take a virtual hug! Haha! Thanks so much, @mtnmeadowmomma. I'm trucking along. I'll get there.

🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️

Aww... I'm sorry babe. But that's life with anxiety and depression, I suppose... No matter how many people you have that are loving and supportive, it can still sneak up on you and bring back those horrible feelings that cause fear and sadness. It sucks but you're a tough cookie and I know you can get through it! We love you dearly sweetie! This too shall pass!

(I hope this makes sense.) I think a lot of us are sick, and feel sick because of what we are taught what (being) normal is. I am not sure I have ever met a NORMAL person. Ok, maybe it doesn't make us sick, but makes us feel worse.

We don't always smile like they do on TeeVee. Like most of us do during a photograph. I hate that. If I am not naturally smiling, I don't want to fake smile on camera. I think it is perfectly normal to experience the full range of emotions, and to show them. And to feel ok with not feeling ok.

So, how am I doing? I would like people to say how they are really doing when asked. Not just give a canned response. I think that could be therapeutic.