Why can I not achieve my goals?!

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We all love starting fresh. A new beginning, a new chance, a new life filled with opportunities and endless possibilities. Sometimes this fresh feeling is accompanied by a confidence that makes you believe that you can be anything, do anything and change the world. Or at least change your own life, your bad habits or just to get focused on your goals again.

Strange how this feeling lasts for about three to five days before we revert back to old habits. Before we know it we have given up, pushed our dreams aside, made up excuses and inevitably all our plans and goals and that fresh feeling is postponed to the next 1 January.

By this time I am sure there are people who have made a list of their New Year's resolutions and are going strong. Surely there are people who already stumbled and have given up. Many even decided against having any New Year's resolutions as 'they do not work anyway' and are just continuing on as normal. Perhaps you fall in a completely different category when it comes to New Year's resolutions.

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Regardless of what you decided on for 2018, I believe at one point or another you have experienced one or all of these feelings. Now this post is not about 10 Tips to make it work or How to kick your bad habits and be a new person all year round. As we all know, it is just not that easy.

Perhaps we just need to change our perspective a bit and realize that maybe we are putting too much pressure on ourselves. At any point in life, not just New Year's, where you decide to change or kick any bad habit, you are attempting to change a part of yourself or a bad habit that you have been building for years.

Off course there are many points to factor in based on what you are attempting to change. Trying to get up earlier is completely different than finally dealing with your alcohol addiction for example.

Whatever you are trying to change, you have probably been nurturing and maybe even enjoying that bad habit for years. How can you expect to perfectly kick that bad habit overnight just because it is a new year? Seems that we are setting ourselves up for failure.

Perhaps we make two mistakes when writing down our New Year's resolutions. Firstly we set ourselves up for failure by expecting miracles overnight. Secondly, the moment we stumble we decide to just give up. What is the point of trying if we will keep on failing year after year and cannot reach any of our goals?

My suggestion would be to include the following New Year's resolution / goal when you make your list:
Take it easy and do not be so hard on yourself.

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The fact is you will fail, you will fall and you will stumble. You need to realize that the part you are really going to change about yourself is the part that will decide to get up afterwards and try again. With every fall you might learn something new and be able to try something fresh next time. Do your research, watch motivational videos if you have to and keep checking in on yourself. If you have to make daily goals or weekly goals or monthly goals, then do it. It can only help your chances and will let you know if you are moving in the right direction.

You will get demotivated if you decided to join the gym this year and by day 7 you have missed 6 days. What is your next step? To give up and decide that you being unhealthy and unfit must be your future, because you just can't do it?
No!! Change the goals the next week and aim to go to the gym at least twice a week. By taking it easy on yourself you can slowly but surely change what needs changing without giving up. If you say you are a failure, then that is what you will be. If you say you cannot do it, then you cannot do it. It is as simple as that.

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Making a list of your goals once a year and then hiding it in your notebook will also get you nowhere. If you need to check that list weekly, do so. If you need more help, then make smaller daily goals. For example: Just because you cannot go to the gym this week, does not mean you need to fall into a deep depression with fast food by your side. Change it up with smaller goals like packing a healthy lunch to work and taking the stairs. So get creative and never give up. Goals are not only set on 1 January. You can set a goal in any form and whenever you wish.

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So do not be so hard on yourself. If you realize you are just human and take it easy, you might actually reach some of those goals sooner than you think. Once you start ticking them off, you will feel empowered and you can only grow from there. Do not see a setback as a failure, but an opportunity to learn and try again.

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