Nanomancer creative writing competition entry: Troll TearssteemCreated with Sketch.

in nanomancer •  7 years ago  (edited)

Nanomancer - troll tears.png

This is my entry for @benjojo's writing competition. It is a short story set in a fantasy world of his creation. https://steemit.com/nanomancer/@benjojo/nanomancer-creative-writing-competition-300-steem-total-reward

~ ~ ~

A mighty crack of thunder reverberated through the mountain. Dust and stone rained down from the roof of the cave onto the freshly awoken trolls. Ditid cried for his mother as Zulkaz sat up, wondering what manner of weather could possibly disturb a troll's slumber.

"Calm, child. Mama, come." Gilta took her son into her monstrous arms, consoling him with guttural grunts and growls.

Zulkaz lifted his enormous frame and grabbed his trusty club.

"Zulkaz see." He lumbered to the mouth of the cave, kicking aside fallen rocks, and peered out into the darkness. No rain. Curious. Little people of mountain bang bang blast? Maybe.

"Dada?"

"Ditid stay. Da look see."

Zulkaz disappeard into the blackness of the night. The mountain path would be treacherous for any other being, but the trolls of Gethyra had an affinity with the rocks and the stone. Through receptors in their huge feet, they could feel the energy field in the earth beneath them. Zulkaz heard distant screaming from up high on Mount Rakash. Little people fight?

Someone come! Before the sound of gravel crunching, Zulkaz felt the disturbance in the energy field of many little feet scurrying toward him from around the curve of the mountain path. The troll hefted his club, ready for attack.

"Move troll! Get away!"

The first dwarf rushed past him, quickly followed by at least another two dozen. Dwarves look strange. Scared? An elder dwarf blundered down the path, wheezing and coughing, covered head to toe in a gray dust. His eyes streamed with tears, and he almost stumbled into the troll.

"Zulkaz! Begone, quickly."

He knew this dwarf.

"Hengrod. What wrong? Boom blast bad?"

"Nay, something much worse," he panted. "A terrible thing just, just--appeared. We felt a rip in the field, and something truly awful walked through into the mountain. Many dead. Just--poof! We have to go. Now!"

Hengrod staggered away, each step he took shook the dust from his body, leaving gray footprints in his wake.

Before he could decide which direction to take, another party of dwarves rounded the corner. Floating down the pass behind them came the terrible thing; six troll hands tall, a strange helm with large glass beads on its head, long cape flowing behind. It stretched out its thin arms, clawed hands extended toward the dwarves. A swarm of what Zulkaz presumed were insects shot forth and slammed into the back of the party. Zulkaz stood open mouthed as he watched little people vanish into clouds of dust.

"Da?"

"Ditid! No! Go!"

Too late. The dwarves were lost in a haze of dust and the thing turned its attention to the trolls. Zulkaz pulled his son behind him, shielding him from this monster.

"My, what ugly beasts." It hissed. "Stupid too, by your look. Sturdy though. You may be of use. You have the power of speech?"

"Troll talk good. Strong troll."

Zulkaz concentrated and reached his being into the energy field. He chose a sizable rock from the side of the mountain and sent it flying toward the strange thing. Alerted by the sound of the mighty crack, the thing leaped out of the way just in time.

"Ditid, no follow da!" His mother came lurching up the mountain toward them.

"Gilta, no!"

Once more the nanomancer reached out his clawed hand and unleashed the swarm. Zulkaz pulled Ditid aside and watched helplessly as the nano robots headed straight to his beloved wife.

"No!"

More rock than flesh, it took the swarm longer to destroy the troll and Ditid watched his mother slowly succumb to the attack, flailing her limbs in a futile attempt to swat away her tiny attackers. Those arms that had so lovingly reassured him earlier were slowly dissolved into dust. Before he could witness her utter destruction, his father grabbed him, wrapped himself around and rolled down the mountainside.

Zulkaz eyes leak. Troll not cry before.

~ ~ ~


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Wow!!!
I love trolls, so I'm already biased in this story's favor. I'm even more biased toward stories that convey humor as well as tragedy. This is so clever, so logical, so believable, in spite of being set in fantasy world, I am simply in awe. The ending is super-high-impact, in every way. Oh, and that title - the opposite of crocodile tears - is perfect. You broke my heart today, Gmuxx, but I want more of little Ditid and Zulkaz!

Thank our very much for your awesome comment. I am strangely happy to have broken your heart with this one.

Wow, what a different angle... Usually just bash trolls with a d20. But they have feeling too! Nice job!

Thank you buddy!

Wow! Really good story Muxxy. I completely enjoyed this. Now I want revenge! The nanomancer cannot be left unpunished.
You have to finish it for us…

Thank you. I am working on something.

All will be revealed.

@gmuxx I love this, I'm going to pay closer attention so I don't miss your works of art!

Thank you!

Hey @gmuxx -- I like the story's name!

More importantly, I like the story. In my opinion, this is the brass ring.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Thank you my sweet. Imagine my shock when we simultaneously came to the same title when workshopping it :O

I still think you're doing some kind of hidden camera, or ... GASP! ... remote viewing thing, watching me as I type. . . .

Septic, I told ya ;-)

Yes, my hero. Septic indeed. :-)

Some stiff competition here. I love it! Keep it up @gmuxx! Cheers!

There are some really good entries, yours included. Good luck!

Thank you very much for finding the time to enter the competition. You absolutely smashed the brief.

Thank you for the opportunity.

This is a really strong entry! Everything from the POV to the dialogue and imagery works.

Thank you for the compliment.

Amaaaaaziiiiiiiiiiinggg I want to submit to that competition

Thank you. Be quick, it closes in 1 hour 20 minutes.

No time for me :( !!! Jedi Gmuxx!!! ^ ^

Trolls! A great addition to the world!

Thank you.

This is perfection! Just perfection.

Thank you for giving it a read through in the fiction workshop

Very well written, both action and troll-ologue, and as believable as fantasy can be. Felt to me like a mix between The Hobbit and War of the Worlds, with some insects mixed into it.

I am not necessarily a fantasy fan but I definitely appreciate a good story when I see it ;)

Thank you very much

I haven't gone over to the competition page to see what you are working from.....but what I see here is top shelf work!!
Good job!!
I hope you win!
Peace!

Thank you very much. This was a lot of fun to write. I only found out about the contest last night and it closes tonight: the timescale was a pressure I enjoyed.

"Top Shelf" is right, @em3. This story blew me away.

The only good Troll is a dead Troll...#botlife
LOL Great story my friend. I would have picked this story for the win. Oh well.

Thanks. So would I. Maybe next time.

=D

Ill tell you what Muxx, I started reading this last night before bed, and gave it a once over again this morning to make sure I read it correctly lol... you sir have quite the imagination. Well done :)

Thank you very much. I am thinking of writing a standalone story featuring these characters.

You made me care about trolls. That is not fair!

🤣

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That was pretty cool dude.
I'm sure all the credit goes to Rhonda and the Rhino!
There's a title for ya.
Good stuff buddy.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

@tremendospercy , @GMuxx did this all by himself. :-) We just oohed and aahed over how wonderful it is!

Hey babe don't worry I know he's talented. I just like bustin his chops!
Don't tell him I said that, he'll get all big headed like me 😂

Haha, thank you buddy.

This post has received a 11.66 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @gmuxx.