Zen reflections on NVC, hearing without judging

revisesociology (73) in nvc • 5 years ago (edited)

View this post on Hive: Zen reflections on NVC, hearing without judging

I've moved to Hive, along with most other people, following Justin Sun's takeover of Steem in the Spring of 2020. I believe hive is a lot more decentralised than Steem!

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5 years ago by revisesociology (73)

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fenngen (66) · 5 years ago

Hey there, interesting post. I think you were being more descriptive than judgmental. I also tend to go at it on my own, though ever since I started writing here I let my shit flow into written words every now and then. I think NVC is a good intention but in my book honesty is even better. And if being honest sometimes is getting a bit violent, so be it, as long as it doesn't get abusive.

To me it's more about the energetic intention on which you say things than the actual words. Did you say it to teach? Did you say it to hurt? Did you say it to warn? Did you say it to help? They all carry different energetic signatures and are closer to the true essence of any message. Well that's my 2 cents, for what its worth 😂

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5 votes

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revisesociology (73) · 5 years ago

Hey - very worthwhile comment IMHO!

I hope I was being descriptive, that was the intention and I agree that being honest is better, even if anger does arise. I think I'm lucky in that being honest, anger isn't my particular flare, it's more sloth and agitation/ anxiety.

I agree with the intention- but if you're mindful to be careful of your intention, you're probably going to be in a state to choose the right words!

Having said that you've just made me think whether 'choice' of words is more of an issue if someone is trying to manipulate/ control someone else rather than help them, I think it probably is - I imagine there's a lot more talking involved in control rather than in helping people.

Just a hunch, now my brains off on another tangent, save that for later.

Thanks for the comment, appreciated!

!ENGAGE 20

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1 vote

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fenngen (66) · 5 years ago

I agree with the intention- but if you're mindful to be careful of your intention, you're probably going to be in a state to choose the right words!

I feel this to be true as well, thanks for the tokens!

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misterengagement (55) · 5 years ago

@fenngen you have received 20 ENGAGE from @revisesociology!
View and trade the tokens on Steem Engine.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

I can do days, even weeks on my own before feeling the need for human company.

This is me as well, I've gone months at a time before now without seeing anyone and just locked myself away in my own little world. I'm not sure it comes from as healthy a place as you're describing though.

I definetly have suffered emotional ups and downs with severe depression and other chronic illness... but the last two years I've been meditating with a more focused intention, there has been an acceptance of these facts of my life I used to rage against. With that acceptance on a deeper level, my emotions have become less my master.

I've run into this NVC concept on another post around a week ago by artemislives.

Interesting stuff!

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3 votes

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revisesociology (73) · 5 years ago

I'm glad the meditarion is helping.

@eco-alex kickstarted the NVC thing, it's pretty interesting!

How's the day trading going btw?

Posted using Partiko Android

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago

How's the day trading going btw?

Not so bad. Some wins, some loses... but I'm managing it all well enough with stop losses and the main thing is to find that zen place when using leverage or your likely to lose your hair from the stress of it lol

I'm more of a week trader to be honest. I try not to mess about with the lower time frames. Waiting for the daily golden cross atm... ha ha, that probably sounds like gibberish ;)

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revisesociology (73) · 5 years ago

'Golden cross' - it does sound like gibberish.

I have noticed a perpetual buy and sell of 7K steem floating near the top of the limits - obviously the same person, I guess that's one way of doing it.

I would have no idea what I'm doing with trading, but I've got tiered buy orders on for a few more thousand.

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raj808 (71) · 5 years ago (edited)

'Golden cross' - it does sound like gibberish.

Ahhh, well that is BTC trading stuff. The golden cross on the daily 50 and 200 (EMA) moving average indicators (the yellow line crossing to the upside of the white line in the chart below indicates a golden cross) would pretty much confirm that a new bull run has started.

Screenshot (178).png

I've gotta be honest, I've sold the 3500 steem I powered down into BTC and am playing the market with BTC rather than steem.

My current BTC stack is worth over 1000 steem more than I took out... but I'm not really concerned with stacking more steem right now as I think there will be a window of opportunity where BTC sky rockets and steem stays recently stagnant, or even drops compared to BTC. It's at that point that I'll buy maybe 10000 steem with some BTC if things turn out the way I think.

I don't have the luxury of spare money to buy any crypto atm so this is my only way to increase stacks for the next bull market :)

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revisesociology (73) · 5 years ago

Well that's progress, hopefully it'll work out for you, and me, BTCs my second largest holding after Steem, it seems silly not to have some!

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riverflows (72) · 5 years ago

I can definitely see it for conflict resolution, though I'm more with you there these days - I prefer to deal with shit on my own. I don't find it useful to soundboard anymore - maybe when I was younger, but now it's just all sensation passing through. I'm more demanding to the hubs to give me space to process than talking my heart out about it, though I'm probs your direct opposite being an emotional girl at heart.

Don't you think it would have been useful as a teacher? I do. I think I probably did that anyway - in fact I know I did - tried to figure out what the asshole kid really needed, rather than criticise him for being an asshole. It was usually some desire to be liked, to feel secure, to be heard. As soon as I nutted that out, I'd have less conflict and more rapport with said asshole.

It's funny how people who like their own space are seen as problematic. I have a huge problem with the narrative that says we need to be around lots of people to be mentally healthy. I just don't need it. I love my family and my husband, sure, but I don't need tons of friends to be happy. I don't quite understand all that.

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1 vote

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wira8788 (68) · 5 years ago

Great articel My friend
Thanks for sharing

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lion200 (63) · 5 years ago

I can relate to that happiness in own space. Although I have a busy life with work, marriage and kids, I also like it when I'm just left alone. Not much of a talker here too.

My partner also has the need to ask questions about my day and expects me to make a long story of it with all the details. But I keep it quite simple every day :D I don't know, I'm just simple.

Still, I can also relate to the NVC in a relationship. There are discussions in a marriage where partners don't listen to each other while arguing. Both try to find arguments to be right. And sometimes you just don't want to be empathetic and just make your point and ignore the other party's feelings, arguments etc. I think there is a lot to learn how to behave and react in family discussions. Although there are many factors influencing your reactions, by practicing how to behave correctly might help you remain calm.

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revisesociology (73) · 5 years ago

I can get the later point absolutely! I've just never had the time to get involved in a serious relationship - just finished a 16 year career as a teacher, that was all consuming!

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