Du Fu: THE PAINTED FALCON

On plain silk, the wind and frost arise
A dark blue falcon, painted in detail
It perks its body, considering a wily rabbit
At each side its eyes seem angry like a barbarian’s
THE TETHERING RING shines, worthy of picking up
From the high pillar, its potential may be called upon
Why should it attack a common bird?

This is the other one I have used, let´s see:

Painting of a Falcon

Wind and frost seem to rise
From the white silk of this
Grand painting of a falcon!
The bird stares as if to pounce
On a scurrying hare, and do
I see in its eye something
Of a fierce monkey?
Chain and ring seem to invite one
To put out a hand and free it
From the perch that seems so close;
I wish I would ask it to attack
Those tiny SINGING birds, scattering
Their blood and feathers over
The grassland around.
Feathers and blood are scattered on the level grass .

On the whole, I was copying more from the first translation, choosing pillar over perch and rabbit over hare etc., If only my "good work" would be as good as it is original, am not so sure about the quality at all, your accusations are quite flattering to me, in fact. I don´t think I have used any material for my first two pieces. We must be both into ancient Egypt or something - the Pharao´s Shadow and Falcon (Horus) (I live in a village that is called Horus actually).