RE: A Song of Her and Him

You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

A Song of Her and Him

in poetry •  7 years ago 

I personally like both versions - leaning toward the first version.

It is easy to suggest that this be revisited - but Steemit is such that I would strongly recommend that you do 'not' revisit it here but in a future post :c)

The contrasts are stark - but I do feel that a little bias against 'him' is felt. Even if he is indeed a villain, there is surely a more graceful way to present it. :c)

For some reason I felt inclined to give it a stab but I quickly ran out of steem. ;c)

"Two hearts - One encased within a hunk of rock, another adorned with a grain of sand."

Well done as always.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Hi there, @pathforger!

Thanks for the feedback! I must say that by 'revisiting' it I didn't really mean here, but eventually in general (in print?) some day...

as for the bias, yes, it is there, palpably there, but I can't really remember who the 'he-llain' is.

thanks for the lovely verse at the end - were it mine, it would fit perfectly!

Have an awesome day!