A COLLECTION OF PHONY STATISTICS FOR POLITICIANS AND OTHER PROFESSIONAL LIARS.
The Daily Statistic is back, with more lies and misrepresentations for all you gullible people out there.
These easy-to-use phony statistics can be used by politicians and liars alike with dramatic effects on fooling people.
Although I have promised to provide false statistics daily, I may not be able to do this a hundred percent of the time.
I'm trying to get a job as a statistician for Paul Ryan. This should look good on my resume.
Disclaimer. As part of my continuing mission to misinform and confuse as many people as I can, I always back up all my false claims with false statistics. You must believe these at your own risk.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 22, 2014)
62% of people who don’t think have no idea what they’re talking about, but continue to talk about it anyway.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 23, 2014)
62% of people who don’t think have no idea what they’re talking about, but continue to talk about it anyway. 99.3 percent of people who do think, think they know what's going on, but only 23 percent of those only think they know what's going on, without actually knowing what's going on.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 24, 2014).
In a scientific poll that was never conducted, it was found that 18 percent of people who think are thoughtless people.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 25, 2014)
From the point of view of the 99%, the 1% have way too much money. From the point-of-view of the 1%, way too much is not enough.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 26, 2014)
34 percent of people who have the intention of doing the right thing do the wrong thing. 92 percent of the 34 percent of people who have the intention of doing the right thing but do the wrong thing don't realize they're doing the wrong thing. 98 percent of the 92 percent of the 34 percent of people who have the intention of doing the right thing that don't realize they're doing the wrong thing would do the right thing if they knew what that was. The other two percent are politicians and corporations (assuming corporations are people).
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 27, 2014)
Nine times out of ten, when we co-ordinate what we know with what we should be doing, something gets done. The rest of the time, it doesn't get done, for unknown reasons.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 28, 2014)
Nine out of eleven people think that they can stop bad people from doing bad things by being cruel to them.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (JUNE 29, 2014)
It has been traditionally assumed that it was "mind over matter" but in 73% of the races, "matter" seems to be winning over "mind" (which really doesn't matter much to me because I don't mind).
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 12, 2014)
A mere 11.3 percent of the people who actually know what's what's wrong with the world know what to do about it. Of the 11.3 percent, only 0.113 percent actually do anything about it, with a 0.2 percent success rate.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 13, 2014)
The world is 97.6 percent doomed. This means we have a 2.4 chance of survival.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 14, 2014)
82 percent of the rants of skeptics should be viewed with skepticism.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 17, 2014)
99.9 percent of skeptics who don't believe anything that hasn't been proven by the empirical scientific method will believe anything that has been claimed to be proven by the scientific method, without doing the experiment themselves.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 18, 2014)
Three percent of politicians who make campaign promises keep their promises once elected. Of the 97 percent of the politicians who don't keep their campaign promises, 89 percent get re-elected. No one knows why.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 19, 2014)
78.9 percent of people who consider themselves well-informed are actually badly misinformed. One hundred percent of people who watch Fox News are badly misinformed.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 20, 2014)
29.4 percent of people who want to make the world a better place are actually making it a worse place. 88.6 percent of the 29.4 percent of people who want to make the world a better place, but are actually making it a worse place, think they can make the world a better place by getting rid of their enemies.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 23, 2014)
94% of people who want to convince someone who they think is wrong that they are wrong don't realize that 99% of people who disagree with them will never agree with them anyway, and yelling and shouting insults actually makes it less likely that they will be convinced that they are wrong, yet 100 percent of us do this.
THE DAILY STATISTIC (MAY 24, 2014)
86% of people who like to think of themselves as being superior to others are actually inferior to 99% of the others. The other 14% may or may not be superior to each other unless he or she actually is the most superior person.