Satirically Yours- Steemit Tips: How to Grovel for Witness Votes

Welcome back to another addition of Satirically Yours where we are witnessing live the witness run by newly minted witness @aggroed. Oh, and what a sad state of affairs to see the once noble blogger turn shameless groveller.

SY: @aggroed, can you explain what you're doing?

@aggroed: (muffled voice)

SY: If you could stop licking my boot for a second to answer that would be great...

@aggroed: Oh, I'm very sorry. Yes, well, yesterday I started a witness campaign. It's mostly begging and grovelling. It starts with a few noble posts about what you'll do for the platform or whatever, but before long it turns into shameless self promotion. Actually I'm getting a little desperate... after my first day of begging for votes I made it into the 83rd position on the witness list. It helped me push into the top 125 authors on Steemit. Actually, I started to push past some of the people that I really respect and started reading from almost day 1. But as the votes dried up I started doing things... things I'm not proud of... for votes...

Satirically Yours: Wow, that's a little dark there @aggroed...

@aggroed: Well, it's true you know. You want a vote and getting people to do that is hard. It doesn't immediately impact them so it's tough to know why someone should. One would think working on policies that help the overall distribution of wealth in this place would help, but honestly... people wanted... more... It started with an upvote, but my upvotes weren't worth much. I offered a few resteems, but things weren't going fast enough... and then I... I... (breaks down sobbing)

Satirically Yours: Well, um, there you have it folks. Just a small price to pay for breaking into the top 85 witnesses and pushing into the coveted 125th most followed author spot. I suppose politics and gathering votes is a dirty... (is interrupted)

@aggroed: I can do stuff... I can do stuff for your vote... what do you need? Do you like this? Do you want me?

Satirically Yours: That's all the time we have. Tune in next time folks!
(Off Camera: I have $5, let's go in that alleyway...)

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Please vote for me for Witness!

You can find me hanging out on steemspeak, a discord channel that many steemers use to text and talk to each other- https://discord.gg/qjpRj7w
I can also be found on steemchat as @aggroed. If you have a post to share give me a good sentence or two of why you think I’ll like it.