This is a post

A post is a series of words, and occasionally a picture:

This is a picture of a tree, I found it on Wikipedia

The picture in this post is too big, and comes too soon into this post but it nonetheless is there. A post needs a picture to be more palatable to the masses, nobody any longer has the required attention span to read words when a picture is easier. For the effect of this post, I will now pretend that I saw this tree while driving through the country side. I did, not and this is indeed a lie, but people prefer stories when I am involved. You too are able to write stories about me and the zany things I get up to but all means. but now look, I have written for too long and require another picture, allow me to once again raid wikipedia for illustrative purposes.

This is a picture of a car, I found it on Wikipedia

The picture above, which I found on Wikipedia, is of a car, I will now proceed to connect the image of the car with the image of the tree above it.This is the car I was driving when I went past the tree above and here I was thinking that the Model T ford had no connection to the tree when in actual fact, they both relate to me. And I am absolutely central to this story I might add. Why, without me there would be no story to tell or anyone to tell the story actually. This is because not only is this story about me driving through the countryside (which never happened) in a model T Ford (which I don't own) , I am also the person telling this story. I was afraid if I did not tell this story, that it would be near impossible for anybody else to tell it, given that when I went on my trip (which is a lie) I was alone (also a lie because my girlfriend was with me, but I don't want the wife to find out I'm cheating on her). And I bet that you didn't even notice that this time I went even longer with putting the words in front of you with a picture. But now that I brought attention to it, I expect some of you may be falling asleep. but fear not, here comes another thousand words.

A picture of a cafe, which I found on Wikipedia

In the picture above of a cafe in Paris, you will see two gentlemen at a table talking. One in a brown suit, the other in a greeny/brown jacket (ok, actually it's puke coloured but I wanted to be nice). This is me and my girlfriend (Yes, girlfriend implies a female, but in this case for comedic effect I will imply one of two things. 1) My girlfriend is actually a man and I am a fudge packer. 2) My female girlfriend disguised herself as a man so that while in Paris, my wife wouldn't think I was cheating on her [And given that this photo of us {not really us} ended up on wikipedia it is quite likely had she been female looking my wife would suspect something]). Too many asides, I lost count with the brackets. Nope, it's ok, still 3 people reading it. Ok Now. My girlfriend and I decided we needed a break from my wife and so we went on a road trip through the countryside to visit a cafe in Paris. This has been a rather short story, but I think it needs an ending... ok, let me try google this time instead of Wikipedia. So there we are sitting at a cafe (didn't really happen) when suddenly:

A gif i found on Giphy via google

The devil showed up. Sorry, I mean my wife (not actually married). and she decided to do something... Dunno what though, many good options. Kill. Murder. Mayhem. Sex. Sorry got distracted, she's always looked good in red. but she is a crazy bitch (oro she would be if she existed)

A picture I found on the google

TLDR:
Can't really blame her. I was cheating on my non-existent wife with my girlfriend (who I lied about having) while driving a car (don't have one) through the countryside (hate greenery) past a tree, to a cafe (not a coffee drinker). And while my girlfriend may or may not be an old man my wife (not really mine) decided to kill us with her car (as if I own a porche).

But of course all of this is a lie for your entertainment:

If you are entertained, give me an upvote, don't be a dick. No one likes dicks (well other than pussys)

And to think all of this happened because I thought I should post something and decided to find a picture of a tree. Now I'm cheating on my wife with a man and we're dead... just goes to show you kids, stay away from drugs. Fake people may end up killing you.