My son is a great sleeper. He has this brown, smelly stuffed dog called ‘Big Dadduh’ and when he goes to bed he has this ritual that he has to do. He will hug his sister and his parents and then jump up into his bed. He will put big dadduh on the bed facing up towards him with its legs out the sides and then will dive into Big Dadduh's stomach. He will turn and reach out with little hands to touch yours and then say goodnight and close his eyes. He is invariably asleep within 5 minutes. Apart from the odd toilet mishap in his bed (he is only 4 to be fair) he will generally sleep right through the night.
It got me thinking that rituals are an important process in getting to sleep. I have always been quite lucky when it came to sleep. I can sleep easily in public places like planes and trains; I can sleep in a car and when it comes to switching off at night I can change, jump into bed and be asleep within minutes. Falling asleep for me is like doing the control, alt delete off button when you shut down your computer and my entire mind starts closing down. I’m half asleep even while my wife can be talking to me. I miss a lot of what she tells me at these times and that is invariably why I forget to pick up the children from their friend’s houses the next day.
My wife is another story and again it all comes down to routines. She will need at least 1 hour from the time of saying she wants to go to sleep to actually falling asleep. She will wash her face, check her email, put on some washing, change, brush teeth, clean up the bathroom cupboard, get a copy of her passport for the next day, rearrange the shoes under her bed, get a book from downstairs, look in the mirror, settle into bed, have a second wee, check the oven is off …and then go to sleep.
If you try and speed up this process she becomes agitated and will lie in bed tossing and turning or try and chat. Her mind is overstimulated and you can almost hear her brain whirring away.
So no real advice on this one - you just need to find your routine. For whatever else matters sleep is important – your body needs it, your mind needs it and probably your partner needs a break too! If it’s not your routine check your environment (bed, pillows, lighting, noises) or and eliminate what is keeping you up (work stress, email or social media agitation).
And if all else fails you can always try counting sheep…..
Or get yourself a dadduh!